Dearies... As you all know my mom was standing beside me whenever I was down and upset with my marital problems in the past. If not her, I would have succumbed to death, as I had no other courage to face the storm then. She is still with me, as a baby-sitter to my kids. Her helps in my life is invaluable, as not everyone gets such a strong support from parents. I feel like I have won my marital life, regained the control over my finances, and succeeded in my career only because of my mom. I couldn't have think of other choices if she wasn't ready to extend her stay with me then. I also know that my mom has favored me over her other children (my siblings) only because I had marital problems then. So, I am always thankful to her. However, currently with the grace of God, I lead a peaceful life. I somehow learned to fix my in -laws problems (I did not give up, confronted with them directly, and let my H understand that I won't take this crap any further). My H is also very cooperative. I think for about 1 year or so, we are leading a 'trouble - free" life. So, we could focus on celebrations, remembering the important days of life, giving gifts, and going on outings. I really feel blessed, and I think I deserve all these enjoyment because I had sailed in a very rough sea in the past. Nevertheless, lately I understood that my mom is depressed about all the happenings around me. Like you all, I too raised my eye-brows at the beginning, because my mom always wanted to see me this way. She extended her support above her level best only to let me live like this. But why should she be so worried and depressed when I am finally there? Her reasoning was, I may be trapped again.. I am going careless as before and letting my in laws walk all over me once again so she is worried. To this, she always make it a point to give a long lecture as to how my past days were, how foolish I was before, and how my other friends were tactful. Above all, she would always find some fault in my in laws (even if that was a tiny casual thing) and try to ensure that they have not at all changed. I sometimes feel she is highly biased, as she always stand on the other person's shoe if there were similar issues with others. But when it comes to in-laws, she pressurize me to see them negatively. This will only make me re-live my past, and bring trouble in accepting them. Secondly, she has this fear of bring thrown away. She thinks that she had already left her home for me. Ignored the offer to stay with my brother. Never assisted my sister during her pregnancy and delivery times. It all happened because she was with me in my place then. My siblings wholeheartedly understood the need, and accepted my mom's decisions. However, my mom feels like she can not expect anything from my siblings (emotional or financial) as she never helped them when needed. At the same time, my in laws recent attachment with us might bring trouble for her prolong stay with me. If so, she fears as to where to go? I know, unreasonable fear she has, but she constantly worried about my in-laws. She is in secured. Therefore tries her best to prove me that my in laws' recent change is highly doubtful. They might change the mind of my kids, they might encroach in to our house, and throw her away, they might influence in our decision, they might do evil things to kids and all. Everytime, she has an example or incident (however tiny one that may be) to point me out. Slowly but with time, my mom has developed this insecurity problem; thus depression. I can understand this very well now. She is old, around 67 years. Also she is highly sensitive. She had never faced a family problem in her life. Always lived like a queen, and was wanted by others. So, it is not easy to make her understand things in a broader way. She is the one who is with my kids all the time. Me and my H are out of home from 7am-7pm. She has a helper around. She would call me with an irritable voice in the mornings while I was still driving only to tell that my MIL had taken my little one, and still playing so she can not feed her. Come on... What can I do? Or she would tell as to how my kids are taught bad habits (like playing with sands and all) and she finally struggles to bathe them on time. Or she would tell me, how my kids are entertained with my MIL, so they don't obey her commands. She is like competing with my MIL on everything, and showing her failure (or whatever is that) on me and eventually on my kids. YES.. She shows long face and depressed mood to my kids as well. I feel extremely bad, as my kids love her a lot, she is the only source of happiness for them when I am not around. How bad if she shows anger or moodiness on them? She further complains as if how tiresome it is to baby-sit all the time, that too for a long time. But MIL would just spend a 15 mins every now and then to play and eventually show as if she had equally baby-sit'ed with her. She fears as if I would extend the same love and respect for MIL for the same reason that she cares my kids as well. Everytime, she tells me that my H is on his parents' side (may be) and he is only acting with me, so that he can enjoy my money. She competes with my H for the living-room TV, and if he changes one channel even during breaks, she would go to her shells back with long face. Similarly, she would emotionally threaten me as if she can't handle the kids anymore. She prefers going back to my brother where she will be much respected. She always congratulate my cousin who managed to throw out her own in laws after a fight, and tells me I am yet to be strong like her. I know my mom was wrong. But I can't simply throw her out or hurt her because of her past unexplained and invaluable support to me. Even my husband understands all that, and accommodate her foolishness because of that. I know my MIL has changed, but I am yet to fully trust her. I dont love her, she she does not love me either. Just that we are in talking terms. I can't expect her to care for my kids, even if she is willing, I can't peacefully allow that to happen. Perhaps, MIL would come back to her own nature once she realizes that we are after her. It may aggravate my problems with her again. Also, I dont want to be side-lined by everyone else if my mom says that she is unhappy with me. Because everyone around me knows that I should owe to my mom because of her favors for me. If I did not do that, they would label me as a selfish. I am totally confused, and not sure how to react... I may be typed all the wrongs of my mom here, because I am here to discuss them only. It doesn't mean my mom is anyway a wrong person. If I am to weight her, these matters are very tiny, as she had done sooooo much to me since childhood. I am venting here, sorry for the long vent. But your opinions and suggestions to improve my life will be appreciated. Thanks. Felt somewhat relieved for now!!!