My Mom Giving Rate To Every Of My Service..

Reesha · Jan 14, 2021

My Mom got breast Cancer and now she is going through chemo therpay. She is been in this process from last 4 months, and i am taking care of her. I am juggling a lot to manage her hospital visits & fallowups & caring her & managing a separate house only for her along with maids. I have 2 & 7 yr old kids. you can guess how tuff for me to handle a separate house setup for her? i am leaving my 7 yr old at my husband & moving to her place to serve her.

I left my mom around age of 15 yr & totally staying in hostels, then to husbands home. so didnt get chance to live with her closely more than month from last few years. Her mentality got changed seems to be.

Now she is calculating every ones service with money. Even though i am taking care of her upto my max efforts, she is expecting more from me. she want me to supply juices & food cooking on my own by observing her each tiny taste. she want me to resign job and forcing me to take house wife jobs.

But she dont want to leave her job & expecting everyone else to change their schedules & life goals according to her. She is not respecting my goals & my brother goals & enjoyment factors. she is wishing my brother to stay with her as assistant for ever. she is afraid of if he gets married she may dont have support/assistant/company for her.

Recently fight happened with mom. She is complaining on every one around her even on my father & his family members & on my brother so on...she is thinking that she is innocent until that his time & everyone is utilizing her for her salary. I rejected her opinion strongly & she even blasted on me like i am also entertaining with her money by stayng in her house.

Truth is that house is my husbands house, we left just before lockdown for office purpose. she is utilizing it for treatment purpose now because her home is in small town. i fought a lot with husband to leave that house from last 10 yrs, and finally made success. Now she is saying i am staying to entertain myself with her money but not to serve her.

pni · Jan 15, 2021

Oh dear, I cud relate to your situation very well. Same story here. I care my mum Nd mil. Why don't u stay with her till she gets better. Hire maids for help. She is your mother, it is the duty of the children to help their parents in last stage. Never mind how ever harshly she talks to you, at old age with health issues they will behave like a child. Take as much help from your mom's siblings. In my case, my chithis and Mamas are my helping hands to care my mom. Same with mil, her siblings take care of my kids when I need to take care of mil. Don't worry, pray God and do ur duty as a daughter. God bless you.

Brevity · Jan 15, 2021

Cancer is a scary illness. She needs support. But talk to her about not putting a price to your tasks. Tell her that it hurts you. Talk of your career goals and why it is important especially with a not so supportive husband, how she inspired you to hold onto your job. Open communication could help. But she could also react in unreasonable wats. You have to be prepared to deal with that patiently. Since you have not mentioned your father i am assuming he has either passed away or separated.

Sadly your enjoyment and leisure will take a back seat when treatment is going on. But you can bring up the topic of brother's marriage. Ask him to choose his own bride, someone he knows or through matrimonial sites etc since you mom might be preoccupied a bit. But seek her approval. Assure her that both of you would support her no matter your marital status, just as you are doing now.