My marriage problems - looking for solution

You hit your wife and say that you are self-disciplined?Physical abuse in totally unacceptable.

What is wrong in your wife wanting to have a baby later?Even if you desired to have earlier you both should have discussed and take a mutual decision.And your wife's concurrence in very important here as she should be ready to carry the child.

Do you think any mother would accept physical abuse against her child?She is right with her own insecurities and she would not have expected a kid to be born for a physically abusive son in law.

Atleast from now on , please manage your anger and get a job for yourself first.You need to support your wife and get ready to support your child also.Anger will not only affect you but also the people surrounding you.You cannot rewind and erase few undesirable incidents in life.

And please do not abuse your wife now as she is pregnant and she needs some support and pampering to bear a healthy and mentally sound child.Bear in mind that YOUR child needs a good father and mother.

 

A disturbing post with a disturbing result.
I read an ancestral Indian man who felt marriage was only for one reason without even bothering about the needs/ participation of wife.

This was suitable to write in 60s where there was no alternate medium of entertainment & guys were holding their breadth to get married. I really wonder if OP belongs to the category who shall now doubt if the baby is his.. since the act was left midway...

This pregnancy seems to be a result of mating and not love making... GOD bless this child :coffee.

 

Nandu and ASG I just can't agree more. Self-disciplined, self-controlled huh. The OP seems to have a bad temper at women in general.

 

Cannot express my reaction in any positive words.Do you actually know the meaning of love,mutual understanding in married life.May be you need to be clear first.If you are not mentally satisfied,you wont be physically too.I feel sad for your wife.may be you should go for counselling & try to take care of your pregnant wife & get a good job to financially support them.Hope soon you can support them emotionally too.

Its really grose that you have discussed about your private matter to other people.You should have intimacy in terms of emotions with your spouse before you expect physically intimacy.Feels like you have abused her & imposed yourself on her before she can actually adapt.

Please correct your behaviour.Try to be more mature & understanding.

 

Self descipline. Gosh are you even aware what that even means, coz none of what you did remotely resembles a 'disciplined' person. Oh, let's not forget 'respect for women' :bonk. Are you for real??? To me abusers don't really need anger management. That very conveniently lets the abuser lay the blame on something else, if not the 'victim's actions', then 'anger' led to the abuse. Would you dare hit your colleague or boss when you 'lose' control? Yeah, a wife is an easy target, a punching bag, but it might not take her a minute to give you back, two slaps for one. Really!

You talk of sexual frustration - PLEASE! And what's with this 'commitments' prior to marriage. One more long story that they didn't give enough gold/silver, did you want a furnished home, oh wait maybe a car. And you shared details of your sexual relations, or the lack of it - with not just your family but even relatives:shock:?

You definitely need help. So does your wife - so please do her a favor and put an end to this relationship. She deserves better.

Ok, not writing anything further in case I lose 'control' and slam my laptop :bangcomp:

 

I'll be very surprised if our dude friend responds to our sweet and docile comments.

At least he can't punch us through the internet.

 

Mr Hubby, you need suggestion from this forum to live a happy married life?

I was reading all of your OP to see what is that is making your marriage miserable, and it is only you. your MIL and wife may be wrong or are wrong to the extent that you were not getting sex and your MIL living with you in Europe and all, but you venting your frustration on your wife physically is just too much, just read your below statement, and you can see the mirror yourself

"where I have beaten my wife very badly in front of her mother"

 

Removed my comments. Don't want agression.

 

I was in shock after I read the original post and refrained from saying anything because anything I'd say after reading that would not be very nice. Not sure if the physical abuse part happened in Europe or India because if it was Europe, one phone call to the police or even your neighbours watching and reporting it would land you in serious barney.

 

@Malavika, in any country physical violence against women is dealt seriously. In India 498 A clause is a real danger to men. Several innocent men are trapped in this.

It could be easily understood that the lady has been physically, emotionally, psychologically and sexually abused. The lady's mother has been intimidated and she's been a witness to this abuse. The ideal situation now is to check for the DNA of the child and if it is never too late (I mean it) abort it. The child will be subjected to immense torture and later if they decide to seperate the lady will have a tough time. The OP appears to be vindictive.

The OP is lucky that he has returned to India and is scott free. If his inlaws want to deal him seriously he will have a big time.