My Life Before And After With Pets

Alert: gonna be a long post I am really sorry about that.
In my previous post ,

Please Give Suggestions For Buying Pet

I have asked for pet suggestion and I bought my own first Persian breed kitten "Juno" on 31st Jan 2022 and shared the pic of him in the same thread. He was just two months old kitten. He was so cute and was very active.

Me and husband brought him home and on the whole way from the breeder's shop till we reach home, he was so scared that he kept meowing. Once we reached home, he explored the whole house. We feed him, he was very active and we played very happily. I was alone at home and my dh bought him (I kept pestering him to stand next to him even while I cook. I was very talkative by nature and listen to songs if dh is not around). So Juno followed me everywhere I go.

My life before I got a pet:

I lost my father during November 2020 and miscarried my first child in a two month span during April 2021. I was sad but since from childhood though I had two elder sisters, I grew up very lonely as we have 4-6 years age gap and they both have their own rooms at home whereas I slept with parents. My mother is a cancer patients and as I was in my teen I could feel and see everything so that I doesn't affect my parents. I was left so alone till late night and even stayed few days alone at home spending sleepless nights. This made me not to depend on anyone or share things with anyone in person. I shared my horrible horrific days with dairy or in sites where my identity remains unknown to many. My mom favoured my eldest sis whereas my father favoured my second elder sis. Things made me think like that since I am of 9 years old where I tried to clean everything of my life. I still wonder whether this loneliness had made me forget how i spend my 8 years of my childhood life. I literally have no idea what happened in the mean time.

This made me independent and I hardly share things with others and still my sisters ask me to share things with them. But I keep mum as I have got used to it. From my parents view they really love me. But I feel it is partial and I know i would never change that perspective of mine.

The hell breakdown when I was made to sit alone in the bride's room just before my wedding day. And I think I only would have been the first bride who would asked my father to ask someone to stay next to me and cried silent in that room(same goes to reception where my mil came to stand with me since I was standing alone). My mom was sitting in the marriage hall with relatives whereas my sisters were with their kids. I was running and even took plates at my sis wedding, helped them with shopping and taking care of kids whereas I was left alone. I myself came to justification that my mom would have been angry because it was our side who organised marriage whereas my husband's did engagement and reception. (It's arranged marriage if my mom said no this marriage wouldn't have happened, what's my mistake I couldn't understand) . My sisters have their own family and kids so it would have been hard for them.

When my father died, I stood next to him and got,placed,threw the mala's which were put on him,served everyone and took care. Whereas my mom was with relatives and my sisters with their kids. None asked me to sit expect a lady on whose foot I dashed unknowingly due to my leg pain. I took leave from my work (my sis was wfh) took my mom to banks to close my father's account just to make my sis nominee for my mother's new account (though I had account in that bank) I think my mom trusts me that much.

When I got pregnant after an year of marriage, I was very happy that be it a boy or girl it's gonna be my dad. I shared the news with my mom who was very happy to know and said she will come over to take care of me after signing her pension form at treasury. But when I miscarried neither she said she will come nor did come to see me. It was just me and my husband(my mil got mixed up in election work)

All these made of resign my job as I know I have become very weak both physically and mentally plus I know that no one will for my help at any point in my life. Till date my mom didn't come but i visited her twice at hometown (I myself gave self justification that it's because of my father's one year death anniversary is yet to come and my sis (with her kid) is there with mom for help and wfh). My mom was against my resignation and even said that she will never come to my house and even if she comes she won't stay even for a single night. And she even asked that will I give birth to healthy child if I stayed at home.

Now I am going for follicle study and didn't consult anything with anyone . But my sis contacted me to say I can consult a doctor of her friend's as mom feels like my inlaws might think my family didn't ask me anything as it has been 2 years of marriage. I am trying for my second first child.fingers crossed. But I directly told my dh I want male child. Not that I hate female baby , I just don't want my daughter to go through what I have faced. It's not easy thing to do hsg, follicular study partially naked in front of Stranger with heavy heart to bear child due to mental pressure. But i assured myself I will hold my Dil's hand strong if I give birth to a boy. In case if it is a girl, I Will accept it no matter what she is my child and will stand for her. As a woman I can't face this.even this generation is different the previous I can't expect my daughter's mil to take care of her.

My life as pet parent:
Lost our Juno:

I found myself as a mom when Juno kept following me everywhere. He would climb on the bed at night and wanted to sleep with us. But all this partial love made me to make him sleep in the hall as I didn't want him to feel dejected if I give birth to a baby. Whole day I will spend time with him. He clen himself properly and became dependent on me which made my dh feel bad for himself as Juno is not spending time with him

On 07th Feb 2022, as he kept scratching his ears and was taking less food, we contacted our breeder where he asked us to take him to vet. We searched for a best vet and he was analysed with mites . His ears were full of mites from the day we bought him. We contacted our breeder but the breeder was not ready to accept. The vet cleaned his ears and asked me not to do it on my own as I might hurt him.

On 15th Feb, I felt his stomach bloated so I took him to new vet and consulted with them. He looked active ,so the vet gave him deworming syrup and gave his vaccination. But vet asked me to check on him. If this continues the vet suggested to take an x-ray of his stomach.

As I thought he is less active because of loneliness, we bought him a female Persian kitten "Junie" from a new breeder but this time we checked for mites and bloating. Juno took care of Junie and goes with her everywhere.
This where i realised how I thought partial love was. When Junie came she was so cute and cuddly I find it hard to focus entirely on Juno as I need to care about both of them. It is not that she became my favourite,it is because she is new and exploring. But I realised it quick enough i held Junie and Juno with me. I indeed tried to take care of both equally.

On 17th Feb, his condition remained the same so early morning next day we took him to the vet. The vet took xray and found fluid filled his entire stomach stating it as critical case but curable. It depends on his strength but he was very weak even though I feed him iron doses. The vet gave vaccine for automatic fluid outlet through urine.

On 19th morning I visited again , his stomach fluid got decreased but gas formation can be seen this time. The vet clearly said that the breeder has cheated on us. We didn't care about money we just wanted a pet and wanted to live happily. But breeder neither accepted his mistake nor had guilty conscience . The vet gave another injection but this time he couldn't hold longer. The same day Eve ,he slept on me. But at midnight he couldn't move. We took him to the vet at 1 am , he tried his best but the vet though brought his life back neither gave permission to admit him nor gave us proper answer

We understood the situation, we made Junie stay in the other room as this may be contagious for her.

On 21st after my follicular study I came home to find him dead. He fought till last,we fought but Juno left us. My dh cried whereas my past pains made me emotionless. I couldn't react to this situation,I cried later but at that point I couldn't understand why I felt emotionless.

I wonder why my first child and let left me like that. Is it jinx or I am very unlucky I don't know. We thought to return Junie back at first but I realised be it Juno or Junie ,we took care of them and we did our best. I convinced my dh to keep Junie and now we have bought ginger for her as companion. They both are fine now and we are trying our 100% to take care of them

Ginger and Junie

They both play and explore everything be it our food or house. They play with us and this time we didn't let them stay out. Bearable weight jumping over you while you sleep is very funny and lovely too . They play together which Juno never did with Junie. They crawl on our bed and pur while sitting next to us. They lick our feet and head. meows around our legs when they need food. The way they run when we give them bath or try to catch them are cutest moments of the day.

Being a pet parent, made me really feel like a mom. The love,care and the way I clean,groom,surprise them with toys are best moments of my life. Now I am very happy taking care of two kittens as kids ,I even address them as our son and daughter. I am happy and enjoying even my follicular study days as I know some cuddles are waiting for my return at home

Having a pet is not bad thing guys but make sure they are healthy enough. Few things I learnt is check for mites, blood filled veins in the ears, bloating in the stomach.

It's 2am now and these night hawks (kittens) crawled all over me and now sleeping right next to me

 

Thank you for your kind words. It's true that he is the one who brought Junie and ginger to us. We really fought hard and he was such a great fighter.and thank you for spending time to read this post

 

Please don't cry for posts ma. I vent things only in indusladies posts and to my dh. I wanna to vent it out as sometimes I couldn't control myself. I have stopped pen things in diary as my sis read mine once. Thanks for your kind words. I have stopped expecting positive things in my life, I just wanna live as it goes. Everytime when I think of starting/doing something I think negative side of it than positive. It had made me feel less hurt. Let's hope for whatever it comes

 

Yes. Thank you

 

I will not change g thank you for your kind words and for spending your time in reading the post