My husband is hurt. He is obviously hurt because he has been jobless since almost a decade now. I still don't know why, but he chose to blindly follow his dad's advices after our marriage, that too, knowing clearly the fact, that his parents did not like our wedding. He chose to be a spoiled brat, and acted like a foolish kid with me back in our initial married life a decade back. Most of you must have read my story in IL, because IL was the only place I could vent out those times. My FIL was so cunning, that he agreed to our wedding at the last minute only after learning my international professional appointment. He found a tricky way to stop his son from joining me in abroad and managed to keep him under his umbrella forever. So that he can play with our finances, which he succeeded after bankrupting us completely. My H listen to his dad and resigned from his promising job in 2010. He decided to transfer all his savings to his dad. Also, he trusted his dad so much that he gave him the authority to deposit dollars (my foreign salary) into a special account, which turned out to be only in his dad's name later. All I did was, trusting my H and believing his financial literacy to manage our wealth. Hence I shared all my savings to him when I worked abroad. My H believed his dad will eventually give him all the wealth; hence followed him despite knowing he was not doing what he supposed to do for the family he created. He chose to stay jobless and live with his parents without any worries about us. I had no choice but to look for employment immediately after my delivery to run the family. In spite of earing in dollars, and saving in millions I was left with no penny in hand during 2011. I somehow bounced back with the help of my parents, and since then there was no going back. But my H had a very clumsy life style. For once he would chose to be on our side, try to work for the family, and be nice with us. Within months, he would be a different person and be completely on his parents side. His parents were so tactful and very magical when it comes to finances. They made him swipe 3 of his international credit cards to the maximum and made him (through me) continue to pay their bills. They made him sell our jewels, and give them money. After a point, my H and I understood these kinds of financial abuse, and it took us several years to come out of it. In the meantime, during 2016-2018 I helped my H to find a decent job. He worked so hard and almost there to climb upwards. I also assisted him to buy a car, and pay the EMI from his salary, so that he will be left with very minimum and his parents can't financially abuse him like before. He agreed, but his parents made him leave that job and dumb that car if that doesn't give them any benefits. I still don't know why a grown up man would follow his dad's advice when it comes to his personal matters. That too, my H has never followed his dad until he married me. He has always hated his parents for their partial treatments, and always stayed away from them in the past. But the history turned upside down after marriage and he became their pet. in 2020, he caught them red handed when they tried to further abuse us. It became a huge issue at home, and finally he decided to cut complete ties with them. I have found them guilty a few years before and always alerted my H, but he refused to believe me until he found out first hand. Never mind, I thought ur lives will be smoother here after. of course, it made a huge difference since 2020, as we had no looking back in our financial and emotional growth since then. But, it didn't help my H anyways. He is clearly upset about his state right now. He feels insecure for being job less. He didn't feel like this when he chose to stay at home for a decade while I juggled between work and family when the kids were too small. But now, he hates to stay home. He applies for jobs, but with a huge career gap he doesn't seem to be getting anything. Its been constantly 2 years of attempts with no results. So he is very frustrated. I have given him the option to stay at home and be productive. He can be the first hand parent to the kids as I am mostly away from home. He can run our coconut estate remotely and manage the work of the care takers. We are planning to rent out our villa and a flat back in Sri lanka. He can do the needful as I have no time to follow this up I have enrolled him to a gym, and several other entertainment to kill his boredom. He can cook and there are multiple ways to enjoy and be helpful to the family until he finds a job. Even some of my friends suggested we do a business in this foreign land as certain Sri lankan products like coconut and tea have so much demand here. I suggested this to my H, and checked whether he is interested in it. Hell broke lose when I opened this discussion. He felt offended, and felt like I am all over him and he can't no longer take this. He says he will be better off if he stayed back, but he chose to join us to support. But we are making his life hell here. He event left home that night during heavy snow and didn't return till late night. So, I and my little son had to go out in order to check him that night, and it made us so uncomfortable. Since that night, my H behaves differently. He complains that I don't share the ATM card with him (I do share, but with limitations as he has a history of financially cheating me). I can't blindly trust him all over again, and end up in another bankruptcy. I don't have the age and courage in my favor to bounce back like last time, so I am being extra careful. But he is upset about it, and demands he needs that freedom. When it comes to major financial decisions, I often consult my H first. But he has never supported my decisions. He would rather give different directions which seem to be difficult and wrong. So, I end up consulting with my FOO and a few trusted friends for their suggestions and most of the time they side with my decision only. My H hates this, and always wanted me to keep our decisions within ourselves only. He seem to be so much influencing, especially making decisions or forcing me to agree with his decisions whenever I am occupied with something else seriously. For ex: He makes an investment, and inform about it over the phone while I am at a senior management meeting at work. I can't answer his calls, or patiently discuss the process. But he would somewhat succeed in getting a YES from me, and do the investment which often (almost 99%) turns out to be failure. I will end up losing a lot of money. Given this history, I demand him to have an open discussion, fact finding and checking with others before we make it final. But he refuses this citing, he doesn't want others opinion to run his family. But come on... it is my hard earned money. He hates me for being the ruler and encroaching his head of the family space. But I swore, I did not encroached his place. He himself lost this place to me, and I have been forced to play this duel role without any choice. Today, he keeps a long face and texed me as if I don't understand his feelings. And I will understand this only after his death. He appears depressed. But believe me, this is not the first time he appeared so. He is angry with my mom and tries all the ways to provoke her. This can lead to fights between myself and mom later. But we are being patient now. Whenever we are blessed with additional wealth, my H turns moody like this. He creates so much havoc and displeasure in the family. What can I do to stop this cycle once for all?