My Husband is mama's boy

rin · Aug 7, 2008

hi

i have been married just three months back our was love marriage i am rajput from U.P n my husband is maharastrian.he loves me alot but he obey her mom more then its need......he is totaly mama's boy his move rule her husnad he shout on him like
"keep ur mouth shut" etc. i find my FIL very poor in front of her.
my MIL have a stong image in her family (her mom relatives) all obey her
she is stong having political contact and very bold woman.......
i like her too but i hate when my husband obey her more then require......
he ask her mom should i seep mom should i go mom should we go out
after marriage we only went on honeymoon alone after that we even not went to a resturant alone every where my MIL go with us..........
if anyday my husband came to sleep early (in case i m not feeling well i sleep early)
my mil tont me in morning and say he slept early don't have time to talk parents
etc.
he always give her mom priority i felt myself living on her pity she rule the house........
i hate this....and she is very witty she always said something which arise misunderstanding between us.......however my husband knows her these tricks so he hardly believe.......ladies do u have any tips to broke her ego...and to make my hubby a perfact husand from a perfect son..........i have no objection if he is a perfect son but he should think abt me too.

one like don't mind i think all maharastrian husband are mama's boy only where as i have not seen my bros so........
thanks
rina

sandu · Aug 7, 2008

Dear rina,
I m very sorry to read your story... why dont u spend a few weeks away from ur husband to make him realise your worth? Stay for some time at your parents' place. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Good luck!
Sandhya

priya ram · Aug 7, 2008

Hi Rina,

Its sad to hear about your married life, well i fully agree with what Sandhya says do try it.

Please try to recollect what all you both shared during the days you were in Love and discuss about it and stress the point that at his house only him you know and you need his support in all times. Try to explain how you want him to be how u have dremt about it, how much a time alone is required to share all your feelings etc.,

Dont worry be happy its all in your hands how you put the points and views properly without hurting anyone!!!

Tell your hubby that u too love his mom and tell all the positive points about her but at the end please tell what you expect out of him as a man who has won your heart!!

And try and appriciate your MIL whole heartedly infront of him and everyone anything for the way she has dressed up or her deed or anything worth appriciating well dont get it wrong that i am asking you to be her chingcha (nodding head for everything).

Hope above would surely help you to build up a healthy relationship between u, hubby and MIL!!!

Remember three T 's of a good married life Talk , Time , Trust

Take care n good luck!!!

Cheers !!!

Priya Ram

rin · Aug 8, 2008

Thanks ladies

i am doing all you have said but i furstate while i don't get the output of my efforts
he may not understand that how tough it is for me to being a independent girl with earing more then my husband i still bear all for his love only.
at my mama's home i stay like pricess my family is richer then his
i am working as a Branch Manager in a good Broking firm of pune..
but i still get up at 5.30 and cook food for all then go back home and again cook
spent my all sunday doing work for my weekdays.
my husband is a production engineer and he work in shift so we meet each other after a week gap if he have night shift.
his mom do not allow me to cook according to me by saying its not good for health,its consume more gas etc.
now i stop cooking on my way i always ask her how to cook,
i always follow her and she feels good while i do as per her choice but i don't
its like if i obey them i am gud if i say no then i m bad
but i have decided the one day i will surly break her ego and win my husband...
just waiting for the right moment building my good image in family soon the day will come when people will apriciate me more then her........

thanks for ur valuble words

rina

roopadadia · Aug 11, 2008

I like your spirit Rina.

Its universal truth that MILs like thier DIL to follow their instruction and are happy if they obey them. So i feel that for initial couple of years...do things her way and when relatives are around be extra sweet and build up good relation with them. These things will take you a long way.

also remember that if any relative speaks ill about your MIL don't start talking in the same tone with them...be on guard. Always praise your in-laws when with relatives especially when they can hear you saying thus.

Sometimes even if you don't like you have to be diplomatic. Don't try to compare them with your family...you will feel more frustrated.

Try to see the positive points in each person and work on them. You should be happy that your husband knows his mom well and hence does not pay much heed to some of the things she says. Maybe he too is behaving in the way he is so there is peace at home otherwise she may unnecessarily blame you for everything and make life hell for both of you.

So dear have some patience and work your way around.

Take care.

priyauc · Aug 20, 2008

hi u have ben married for a short while now. it will surely take some time for ur husband to be a wifes man. he is so used to being a mamas boy. give him time. im sure its not easy for him either. trust me men get so sandwiched between inlaws and a wife. ur goal shud be to win his love and trust first. and to do that you have to respect your mother inlaw only then will ur hubby respect u. once u are settled down and made a place in his heart can u start to make him realise where things are wrong. have patience.