My husband is an sex addict.(is this normal.?)

Really feel bad for tensed....this is like torture day in and day out...especially since U are not enjoying it....it almost sounds like physical and mental torture...:hide: ( but something I guess some women would maybe like to experience atleast for a few months in their life??!! :rotfl)


I dont want you to get more tensed on this...but I feel maybe your husband feels, he has to do it...to prove a point or two? like maybe that he is sexually fit and attractive and all that and he still desires you?
Most men cant keep control when they see a fit and healthy woman....so maybe he also feels that he should show how capable he is....???
( am I making any sort of sense here?:bonk)...some men think women judge them by their sexual performance.....( the no. of times and all that...its basically all a mental game/thing)

Try and clear the air with him, that u will still love him and will love him even more if he plays it a little slow and not just start at the word ''go'' as if on a 200 metres dash in the olympics...

Tell him that you enjoy doing the stuff with him, but you prefer the soft touchy approach first, then only you will be able to give him a wonderful performance too.....

Here are a few suggestions that I have seen in other posts
1) Maybe you have to open up and talk to him...that there are more creative ways of doing the stuff, and tell him what are your likes and dislikes and tell him that you would enjoy more if he keeps these points in mind. ( and please give him specifics and show him-men cant just imagine how you want and how you feel)
2) Some men can be perfectly satisfied by giving them some pep talks or stroking...this can get the work done too....you dont need to suffer more, just get him worked up and let him have his pleasure
3) If point 2 doesnt work and he wants the WHOLE thing, then guide him through during the act-and maybe tell and show him during the process what you prefer...(but lay it out straight in the beginning that if the fizz isnt building up , then performance may end before it even takes off, and you will walk away...and pls dont feel bad, only U know how u feel)

In any case, dont tell your man that you are going to cut off completely, cos like some other member pointed out, he may look out for other alteranatives....

:idea If things still dont take a turn for the better- tell him that somehow you feel you are not able to keep up with him, feel drained, and wish to see a gynec or an expert regarding this.....
Then maybe you can consult together with the expert ( on the pretext that the fault is yours) and let the expert know that the demands are steaming hot daily morning and night...and lets hear what the expert has to say...

 

Way too much generalization going on shakehead

 

Tensed,
Yes, what you said is true-sometimes the men also do feel insecure..when after my 1st delivery, I put in lot of effort and lost more than 15+ kgs ( preggy weight) and got back to my old figure ( better than marriage time)...I could see this clearly.

My man would literally make a point to lean on me or stand very very close to me, or sometimes a flirty touch ( maybe just on the shoulder, or sometimes....) when any reasonably good looking guy would come anywhere within 5 steps of me!!:rotfl

And let me tell you, my man is very handsome himself-maybe he just wants to project that this is HIS property to the other guys-when they even just glance at me!!??

 

Twice a day, that sounds more like a ritual and you are not enjoying it, intimacy is fun and enjoyable only if both parties enjoy it and in your case you are obviously not enjoying it so you have to find ways to divert his high energy or you have to ask him to find his own ways to release his high sexual urge.

 

Hi Tensed...

Don't be too much tensed. It will not resolve your problem.
I don't know about your personal life but have some suggestions which might work for you.

1) This is your love marriage and you are saying that for two years you did not have sex........so try to recall and use that trick which kept him away from sex for two years.....means you must know how to please him.....

2) is he interested in foreplay? Then you only start it.....It will give him satisfaction that still you love him and also increase the intimacy between you and

another benefit is that it will pass some time because men has time limit for their excitement ......after some time they will be little down and it will reduce duration....which is hurting you.

3) You can help him in masterbasan so he will get some diversion and difference
4)Have some sexual talk. During talk ask him how he will get more pleasure and after that you say about your's which will give him information abt your choice and also say that quality is more important than quantity....(try to say in your polite words).......

4)Try to avoid to go to in the morning ....when he is coming back from workout,.......try to be in kitchen or bathroom.....means adjust your timing like that so you can avoid him without his knowledge that you are ignoring him.....You can have breakfast time in the morning also during that phase which will divert his energy.....and time...

sorry i m giving so many suggestions........I donot know it will help you or not but trying to help you in your problem,.......

Donot be rough to him. It will solve your sexual problem but will create another problem in your life....

All the best.
Nilu

 

hi Dear,

this is very common.... as everyone said..... when your priorities change.... it will also slow down...... now your are still in honeymoon... yar... enjoy.... whre are you residing.... Shimla......? may be the climate too help your hubby for this......

 

Dear Friend,

I had a similar situation where he would have me several times during the day & night. Eventually I showed him how much more it is satisfying if he builds himself up & then wait until night. The morning intimacy is okay on days off from work where we don't need to get up early.

Teasing him lovingly throughout the day made him feel excited & wanted. He soon realised the benefits of self control. Foreplay is a major factor in this scenario. The elongated love making process is more satisfactory.


Good luck.

 

I agree to most of what Nilu said above, with a minor addition.

Have read articles which says sexual energy is also heightened after work-outs. That may be the reason, why your DH wants a session in the morning also.

If you want to reduce the sessions,
1. Talk to him openly, and calmly. It is not always easy to go twice under the sword ;-) every day :|
2. Try to adjust his gym sessions.
3. Need not be intercourse all the time. May be oral or encourage a little masturbation, probably assisted by you.
--> You knew him for 2 yrs, so there could be other ways to please him too. Talk to him to find more.
4. Make him understand that you are really hurt that he does not recognize that he is physically hurting you during your periods.

Good Luck

Cheers,
Mrs. Saravanan

 

Dear Mam,

A successful love is not simply a thing which ends in marriage. Because we really feel sad and even ready to lose our breath when the love gets failed.

The main reason is what your residing place. As it is shimla, because of the climate itself your spouse has been forced to have sex. The common thing in marriage life is newly married people have no limits on time for having sex. The mood gets on when the people gets aroused.

As your spouse wants sex, try to understand him and cooperate with his feelings. because there may be some danger when you say no, there will be a extra marital affair. He loves you more than your body. If you feel drained you take extra care on your food habits and stay healthy. And you can try to discuss with him when he has good mental peace at day time when his normal.

Each woman has several types of problems. But you have successful love marriage. so that is a great success. so make your life colourful with your lovable husband. IF YOU WANT TO PLUCK THE ROSE YOU HAVE TO COME ACROSS THE THORNS. IF YOU FEEL HURRIED, THE THORN WILL HURT YOU. FEEL FREE AND PLUCK THE ROSE PROPERLY.

ALL THE BEST, WITH LOTS OF PRAYERS AND WISHES,
MRS.ABINAYA