1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Liked anything that you read here? You may nominate it as the Finest Posts!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  5. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

My husband is an sex addict.(is this normal.?)

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by tensed, May 11, 2010.

  1. tensed

    tensed New IL'ite

    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi,

    I am new to this forum, thought i would share my concern.

    I am married for the last 11 months, ours was a love marriage. we dated for 2 years before getting married. We never had sex before marriage.

    I am 27 and he is also of the same age.

    I have been observing that my husband is addicted to sex. He wants it every night and morning, initially i thought this will pass away with time, But this dosn't seem to subside in any manner. Not that i dont enjoy it, but off late i am unable to cope up with his demands. I get tired.This had led to frequent fights between us in last 1 month.

    I tried to talk to him many times, he tells me that he is not unreasonable in his demands.

    Initially, he wanted to make love to me during my periods also,i bluntly refused.He showed me lots of english video films and convinced me for a--l sex.

    Do you all think he requires some kind of medical intervention, counselling etc.

    I love him a lot, do not want to hurt him in any way.

    Please help.
     
    Loading...

  2. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    805
    Likes Received:
    352
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear tensed,

    Calm down. You are newly married so I think its the intial phase. You had a relationship but no sex for 2 years so maybe he was waiting for this for long.
    Answer these questions honestly
    • What is the frequency of intimacy?
    • Is it 25 days a month?
    • If you are enjoying it and he is not forcing you then where is the issue?
    • Is he forcing himself on you?
    The other thing is being creative in the bedroom is nothing wrong if YOU are ok with it.

    If you are forced into something and you are not comfortable with it then there is an issue. Think about it and let us know.

    FL
     
  3. Dilchahtahai

    Dilchahtahai Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    135
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    I agree with PP.. In my opinion, this is the initial phase of marriage. Really, enjoy..
    once u have kids, life would be completely changed.. LOL
    Anyways, enjoy to the extent where you find it enjoyable. Never do something because someone is forcing u or pushing you
    Boys being the more aggressive gender in our society are normally expected to initiate sex and they ahve more fantasies about it than women.. There is nothign wrong if your spouse wants his fantasy to be fulfilled. It would actually help both of u come out of your shell and become closer. But if it hurts you or if he is asking you to do something that hurts your self esteem, say no. I completly agree with no sex during periods. Though it is your choice, if you feel like having it during periods as well, go ahead.. Do it..

    Bottom line is: Both partners have to find enjoyment in what they do.. If one feels forced or uncomfortable, they should say NO
     
  4. APassionateOne

    APassionateOne New IL'ite

    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Hello Dear, Enjoy when you can. If it is being forced upon you, then there is a problem and you can think of going against your hubby.

    But if you are enjoying too, then you can discuss with your husband to slow down and lessen the frequency. How you make love (the method)..is between you both. What ever you both feel comfortable with is OK. If you don't want to try new things, JUST SAY NO. If he loves you, he will understand your pain.

    Remember when you start having kids, the frequency goes way way down with everything else taking it's time and place.

    Hmm..just a joke - May be you should have a kid real soon and you both will get less time to think of this.This is just a joke. Do not have kids for some silly reason. Have kids when you both understand each other completely and are settled financially and are ready for the kid emotionally.

    But one thing for sure - If you feel forced - don't lay low and take it. OBJECT-FIGHT-and PROTECT YOURSELF (Physically and emotionally).

    Good Luck.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2010
    1 person likes this.
  5. sarma

    sarma Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    232
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    This sounds like a good problem (for the most part!) to have for most people!

    Other people have already spoken on the issue.

    Good luck!
     
  6. tensed

    tensed New IL'ite

    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for yor reply FoundLove.

    He wants it every night and morning. He gets up early for his morning workouts, comes back and then he is ready for one more session.
    Its amost 26-27 days/nights a month.He does not calm down during my periods also, i have to indulge in A--L sex. If i refuse to oblige, he tells me that i am being rude, it will take only 10 mins and all that nonsense.

    I use to enjoy it a lots initially, but this has become routine for me, like a ritual to him.Sometimes it also hurts ,i get irritated.

    We have decided not to have kids for 2 years,i am on OCP's.
     
  7. reshmirn

    reshmirn Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    363
    Likes Received:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2010
  8. tensed

    tensed New IL'ite

    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
     
  9. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    818
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Tensed, as for him wanting to have frequent sex...I do not see a problem with that at all. Lot of people have the lack of sex problem.

    On the anal sex part, that is entirely up to your discretion and you can always say no if you are not fond of it and offer other alternatives.

    And no, he does not have sex addiction and nor does he need therapy and all that. Enjoy the ride as long as it lasts.
     
  10. tensed

    tensed New IL'ite

    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    The only basic thing is i am not able to cope up with his demand. I feel drained out after the act, where as its is very easy ride for him.
     

Share This Page