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My Husband is a Spenthrift.My Inlaws are taking adavntage over my hard earned money

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by nadiya123, Mar 29, 2013.

  1. nadiya123

    nadiya123 New IL'ite

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    I dont know where to start and how to start .I have been married for 2 and half years and my life has been so miserable with my inlaws and my husband.My husband has got so much dowry from me and he used that amount to settle of his loans and debts which he got before marriage.He has pledged my jewels and settled of his father's debts.I am working women and he is taking all my salary and transfers into his account.My Dad is no more and my mother only educated us with the help of my father's pension which i sa negligible amount.I am the eldest and i have two sisters and one small brother.I would like to support my mom .When i asked my husband about helping my mom finacially he asks me to go back to my mom's house or otherwise hit me very badly.His father still has debts and he asks me to put loan for clearing his father's debts.My brother in law doesn't contribute anything.My husband only contributes everything to his parents.Our inlaws are enjoying my hard earned money .They dont bother about who earns and clears all their debts but still they want to enjoy as if they are newly married couples.Inspite of having all the debt's my husband has taken them to foreign trip since his mom wished to do so.He still has not repledged my jewels.The family still has debts.When i ask about the debts my husband simply says no debts at all.without my knowledge he is borrowing from his friends and for repaying he is asking money from me.If i dont give he behaves like a psyche.He is very selfish.He speaks only about money with me.They simply married me for settling debts and for no reason .Now i have got a child also.Bcoz of this i should stay calm .I dont know how to manage these people.They want to live luxuriously by givng trouble to us.My father in law had no self earned properties .He sold all his father's properties and gave education to his son.He dint earn a single penny on his own .He wants to spend lavishly.But there is no source of income .My husband has creidt cards and 90 percent of alll his slary goes to credit cards and loans. We are paying for FIL's medical bills which is also a big amount. Not only medical bills.If they got to home town my husband will sen deven with bathing soap,tea,Beetel,tooth pastes and ll essentilas so that they need not buy form shop.My FIL is also getting money through agriculture.But He simply pretends as if he has got no money in front of my husband.My husband is not worried about our childs future.He is simply worried about his father and mother.He will even build a temple in the name of my inlaws.50 percent of my salary goes to household expenses and 50 percent is for inlaws.they are puting burden on my husband and my husband in turn is putting burden on myself.He want s me to contribute not only to his parents but also his brother,cossiter, their children,sil,Their children,his aunt.Going by car is not affordable all the time but these people prefer to go by Rented Car simply for showing pride .The Empty Vessels are making much noise. My mother is also not able to ask them since she is worried about other two :bonkgirls(my sisters) life if i go back to my mom's place.My husband doesn't give respect to my words.He didnt even realize that he is doing no good for me and my child.He says that i am providing food,clothing and shelter.APart form that being a lady you should not ask anything about family's fiancial staus. I dont know how to change these greedy people
     
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  2. jaanu143

    jaanu143 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: My Husband is a Spenthrift.My Inlaws are taking adavntage over my hard earned mon

    Hey dear, Simply refuse to give ur salary....Start savings atleast for ur kid. If he wants u to leave , i think thats better...Leading life with a man who dont want to understand ur feelings, with no respect , with no security to u and kid even with ur salary is not acceptable.....Everyone should support their parents...Tell him if he is doing that, u also should as a responsibility....Take care of u and also kids future...
     
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  3. nadiya123

    nadiya123 New IL'ite

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    Re: My Husband is a Spenthrift.My Inlaws are taking adavntage over my hard earned mon

    Thank you for your valuable suggestion.I hope that everything should change hereafter
     
  4. butterflyice

    butterflyice Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: My Husband is a Spenthrift.My Inlaws are taking adavntage over my hard earned mon

    You are working and that money belongs only to you. Take a stand and tell your husband you are not going to part with the salary. If your salary is deposited into a bank account, set up some automatic deductions to savings like Fixed deposit or LIC policy or PPF which your husband cant touch. I feel PPF is the best option. If you get your salary in form of cheque, you deposit the amount monthly. Same about helping your parents. If husband doesnt allow you to do this, say you will quit your job. No point working if you cant enjoy the benefit. Your in laws are very irresponsible and selfish to be behaving this way.
     
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  5. kamdev1

    kamdev1 Silver IL'ite

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    Re: My Husband is a Spenthrift.My Inlaws are taking adavntage over my hard earned mon

    go back to my mom's house or otherwise adjust. u cant change greedy people
     
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  6. vanny2271

    vanny2271 New IL'ite

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    Re: My Husband is a Spenthrift.My Inlaws are taking adavntage over my hard earned mon

    Even though, you are a working women, you do not have any respect in your house, not even from your DH. In my opinion, bad people can never change so if you really love yourself and your kid, You should leave him and start a new life. This environment is not good for your kid at all, you might regret in your life later on. You are fortunate to have a job, please keep guts and walk out, you and your kid deserve to have a good life. Best of Luck.
     
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  7. kamdev1

    kamdev1 Silver IL'ite

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    Re: My Husband is a Spenthrift.My Inlaws are taking adavntage over my hard earned mon

    I would not suggest walking out unless its the last option.
    Remember, its your house too.
    Make it clear to both of them. Be brave. Fight for your right.
    "Anth mein jeet sachaayi ki hoti hai"
     
  8. mohini16

    mohini16 Silver IL'ite

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    Re: My Husband is a Spenthrift.My Inlaws are taking adavntage over my hard earned mon

    Here comes another example of male chauvinist pig ......stand up for urself ......u are not entitled to give ur salary for ur in-laws expense ......to keep up the peace with ur DH give him 50% for household expense and keep remaining for savings !!
    Jes how can women live with such men
     
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  9. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: My Husband is a Spenthrift.My Inlaws are taking adavntage over my hard earned mon

    YOU are the one paying food, clothing, shelter and YOU are the one paying off all his debts and his father's debts. So YOU have the right to ask about financial status. What if you quit your job? who wil pay for his luxuries?

    he knows you are worried about your 2 sisters and so you will put up with him... there are men out there who are not jerks ike your husband who will marry your sisters even if you go back. Once you show him that you are confident about a good future for your sisters.. he will back down because he knows you can walk out

    If he hits you, warn him abotu police action... physical abuse is a no no
     
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  10. beingloved

    beingloved Gold IL'ite

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    Re: My Husband is a Spenthrift.My Inlaws are taking adavntage over my hard earned mon

    Difficult to change such people.. either stay quiet and set a bad example for your child that you're a puppet in his/ her dad's hands. Think about ur child.. greedy dad and puppet sort of mom.. what so called "Sanskaar" he'll get while growing up? U're staying in this marriage for the sake of ur child.. but in reality u're nurturing another MCP or a meek girl.

    Its ur call lady.. Your husband needs you as much as you need him. You're not a beggar. Stand up for yourself..!!

    All the best!
     

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