My husband asks for mutual divorce.what can I do?

Hi,
What does this man thinking?

If she divorced should he divorce leaving behind the wife who accepted, trusted and gave him good life all these years?
Ask him how after your divorce will he be normal with you?what will he say to his kids will the kids accept this new woman ? So nothing will be normal...IMO dont agree to it....

 

This is ridiculous. What he will do if the same kind of situation had been arisen by you. What is the meaning of love and affection for such long 18 years of married life? Has he been lying all these years? Never accept this. Think of the picture 'marupadiyum' by K.Balachandar.

take him for counselling. Or tell elders in the family to advice him. Make him realize what problems to be faced by all of you including daughters and their married life. Will he be accepting if this kind of situation if arises in his daughters lives?

Pray to God. I hope this will be a passing cloud.

Regards
Manjukps

 

Hi annam, I really feel very bad for your situation.Inspite of living a happy married life for about 18 years, you would have never imagined that a strong storm would come in this form. Why can't you talk to the girl once?

I am really surprised how a man would be such irresponsible, ignorant and mad?

 

He couldnt stay faithful to you when you are married. How can he be normal and stay with you after divorce? If he marries the other woman, will she allow him to stay with you? She will have all the rights to stop him from visiting you. Dont believe this.

Dont know the story behind why she got evicted because of your husband but that doesnt mean that your husband can go and have an affair with her and divorce you.

Ask your husband to stop talking such stupid stuff. He has cheated on you and had an affair after so many years of married life. And he has the nerve to ask for a mutual consent divorce? He is trying to disrupt the family which you guys have built over 18 years just for a fling.

Tell him point blank that you will not agree for a divorce. Not only yours but your kids life also will be affected by this. Ask him to think about your family and kids before he takes any hasty decision. Meanwhile take help from your parents, relatives and in-laws to resolve this issue.

 

call up his parents if they are still alive and also WARN him that you will tell all his relatives n friends about his reunion thing with his past lover.

Things like these if they are kept secret from everyone...its going to do harm rather than helping...your husband has to be scared, he has to feel ashamed and worried about who is watching him etc.

Also take her #, call ehr up, warn her that you will call her husband and her realtives and will make her life hell if she doesnt STOP all this involvement with your husband.

This is not the time to be meek and weak. this is the time to take the kali maatha roop and show your husband his place.

On the other hand am just so worried to hear these issues lately as to why WOMEN are doing such things to another women??? that too when a woman knows that a married man is approaching her, why is the same women not able to tell him to STOP??

Women dont like it if inlaws involve in their life..and create such huge deal...but why is it that the same women involve with anothers womans husband?? whats happening with females lately?? so if they dont find something at home, they try to eat in someones house everyday?? even if it means stealing/borrowing??

REally such women have to be dragged onto the streets. If divorce has to happen it will anyways....atleast have that satisfaction that you told everyone in the world how nasty your husband is how he can just separate from a woman whom he married for 18 yrs and how he can just separate from his kids etc......dont think that you rdaughter wouldnt understand what you are going through...10th standard is not a small age, if she understands what her father has put you through she is not going to treat him as a hero...rather you would see how much she would hate her father....if you dont tell her now, she sure would know down the line isnt it???

Also warn your hsuband that if he doesnt STOP all this and the divorce drama, you wont give him an easy divorce...this is a 18yr old marriage.....even courts n lawyers will support you....ensure that you gather all the evidence so that he can be prosecuted even for cheating case. take the cell phone messages, emails etc and save them.

 

hi annam,

Your husband is such pathetic man. First thing you do is keep your kids out of this, very difficult. See one you get divorced nothing is going to be correct. You daughter is in studying, make her understand that they need parents love not just mom or dad. Now next thing how many years affair your husband had with her...may be 2 may be but she left him and went with other man. Now you have given him 18yrs of your life. So he has to be faithful to you not to her. Tell him you dont have anyone outside waiting for you like she said she was deserted by her family bcoz of her affair. This is not at all true. She have her own problem. You never agree for divorce on mutual consent. If he is forcing you tell him you want to use clause of infedility and many more, no harm. You keep that mail with you where they have shared about being physical. You ask you husband why he thinks that woman needs all happiness from him you are his wife you need him more than her. See if he wants divorce he will try but i dont think he want to spoil his name. Try to gather as much as evidence you can collect against him. After divorce he is never gpoing to be noremal for you and your daughters. At least you an mention your daughter his father wants to marry someone else and cheating. You need your daughters support then things will be easier for you. Now a days kids know more than what we think. Go to some marriage counsellor. You can save your marriage. I think he needs to be beaten to forget his so called love and shameless act. He just want to reach US and enjoy with her nothing else...I think contact elderly people and make him understand. But i strongly suggest you never agree for divorce on mutual consent. If you feel things are going out of hand file an FIR against him for domestic voilence and then let him do what he can do.. he is taking you very lightly...meet some lawyer.
take are,
PAdma

 

Hi Sri ,
You hit on the bulls eye I agree,

OP whether your DD treats her father as Hero or Zero it wont help one day or other she will come to know anyways...just follow Sri's (Sri Vidya I hope you wont mind my calling this way) advise first gather info as proof then proceed....

 

He means that he will 'use' both of you?? It depends on what you want to do, if you can share him with the other woman then fine, you don't want to just decide before it can get worse!
Do you have a job?

 

Please set a good example for your daughters by being bold. Like other PPs have said, you must not let it go easily. Easier said than done, but please try and put your feelings for him in the backseat for a while and take the bull by its horns. Tell him flat that you cannot give a divorce, and ask him if he thinks you are a fool to believe that he will be with you after the divorce.
If he stars abusing/tormenting you after the above, I would take the elder one into confidence and give her the gist of the situation in as polished a way as possible.

Ask your husband if he will take such crap from you if you had cheated on him with an old flame.

Please be strong for your sake and for your daughters' sake. Please do not attempt suicide. You have it in you to handle it. Remember, God will never give you anything that you cannot handle. Hugs and prayers.