my husban is embaressed that iam fat

Geethika... congrats on your pregnancy. And congrats on taking the first steps towards losing weight.

Actually, I would have to disagree with some of the other ladies who said now isn't the time to worry about weight loss. In plain terms, yes your husband is right. You are fat. And possibly he is nagging you because he is concerned about your health or the baby's. Afterall women gain even more weight when pregnant, and if you're currently about 190 lbs, you could easily pass 200 during and after pregnancy. For somebody of your height that is not healthy at all.

Losing weight gradually and slowly is the best way, especially when pregnant. Don't go on any crash diets. But since you know your husband is watching you like a hawk... don't make paneer makhani with poori or biryani cooked up with spoonfulls of ghee. It will just aggravate the situation further if he sees you indulging frequently. Eat fresh, healthy foods. Drink lots of water and engage in light to moderate exercise, or whatever has been approved by your doc.

This "you're eating for 2 when pregnant" saying is a farce, or so I have read. Don't double the amount of food you eat just because you're pregnant. So long as you eat when you're hungry and eat until you feel full (i.e. satisfied... not exploding), your baby shouldn't lose out on anything.

Talk to your hubby and let him know your health regime would probably work better if he ENCOURAGED rather than SCOLDED you. Let him know that instead of motivating you, the scolding is actually hampering your self esteem and will-power and making it harder for you to lose weight.

And you might tell him.... "You say you regret marrying me because I'm fat. Ok. But just imagine if someday I become svelte and fit. Then you will be all lovey dovey with me, but I will always have it in my heart that you love me for my looks and not WHO I am. Is that what you want me to feel about our relationship?"

Good luck girl. :thumbsup

 

Geethika,

If you are a rice person,try to shift to chepathi or brown rice.During pregnency you will feel hungry more and consume more rice.But if you start on wheat and more protein food ,you don't feel hunger as you do with rice and also you will have lot of cravings for sugar.Look for alternative like fruits ,some nuts other things.

When he brings next time,tell him,I am working on and please leave me alone.

All the best.

 

Geethika,
I honestly dont think you should start dieting now as it may affect the little life you are carrying. But your weight should be a concern to you as well and not just your husband. While I dont agree with the way he says things to you, I think weight can only be reduced if you have some motivation. In this case assume that your DH's tantrums are your motivation.

Dont start dieting, but change your food habits. Eat small meals spread throughout the day, do this through your entire pregnancy. Tell him we are not going to eat out but that would mean that we have more visits to the grocery stores.
Here is what my SIL suggested.. she is extremely weight cautious and runs 4 miles everyday after her son.
- Drink a glass of warm water as soon as you wake up
- Eat a light breakfast - like oats, bread etc. Dont have anything oily or buttery. If you are eating idli, dosa ensure you have sambar or some protein with it. She recommends peanut chutney.
- At around 10:30 AM have a fruit.
- 12:30 or 1:00 have a light lunch. Chapati preferred but whatever you eat increase the vegetable intake.
- 3:30 or 4:00 have a handful of nuts
- 5:30 or 6:00 have a cup of milk with another fruit or some biscuits
- 8:30 or 9:00 have dinner. Ensure you have enough space to drink a glass of milk, yogurt or a fruit.
- Go for a walk and get to bed.

Since I am pregnant as well and at home I am trying to do this, but it is a little difficult in the initial days. Now it is easy. I start feeling hungry at the said time.

Good luck!

 

I was going to write to you what ASG has said- even though you are pregnant, you should try not to put on more weight than necessary to avoid GD and other obesity related risks.

I can somewhat relate to your posting as I am overweight too and my DH also keeps reminding me about staying in shape. In fact when I was pregnant, he would also keep taunting me
about controlling my cravings. So what I've told him is to give his criticisms that will prove to be more constructive to my weightloss than givin taunts and attacking my self esteem. He does so now by giving
me a quick and friendly reminder each time I am tempted to reach out to that tiramisu at dessert counter in whole foods. He also tells me I need to workout and if I skip, he asks me why so? So try to ask him to redirect
his comments to help you reduce weight and lead a healthier lifestyle. So my point being, take it in a positive way and don't feel hurt. And some of those rude lines you've quoted above may have been taken
in a context when he's angry. Don't take it too much to heart. He doesn't mean it.
enjoy the journey to motherhood. Wish you a healthy and safe pregnancy.
Tej

 

Hi
Do not worry.I am a mother of 2 kids and I gained a whole lot of weight during both my pregnancies the second time much more than the first time.
But after the breastfeeding period was over (6 months exclusive breastfeeding) I started controlling my diet and eating healthy and exercise.It took me a while because I wasn't that serious all the time and both the time I gained back my pre-marriage weight .I mean even less than my pre-pregnancy weight.So now is the time to enjoy the pregnancy and when the time is right start and in no time you will be the type u want.
For me I did it twice so I know ,the weight does come off with some effort.So don't worry about it for now.

 

Congratulations on your pregnancy Geethika!
I am sorry to hear about the situation with your weight. Well, like ASG said, eat healthy and try and do some exercises. I would think that it is good for the baby too if you do some yoga, walking etc. This way you will be in your ideal weight bracket and your baby would also be thriving. Dont deprive yourself with all the cravings you have because this is the only time you might want to eat raw imli :rotfl
Its OK to indulge once in a while...and hey you are pregnant. so dont overly worry about weight. Try and see if you can do some yoga.

What a coincidence...this evening even I was cross with my husband for making a comment about my weight. Working for 10 hours a day, sitting in one place has its own disadvantages...well, its never too late. Unless your husband is really being rude to you, you should be able to tell yourself if you can be any better. If the answer is yes, then work on it.
But mind you, before you start anything, check with your doctor.

 

Hi Geethika,

Congrats on your pregnancy.

In our lives there are few wrongs and few rights. To prevent others from crossing the line and do wrong to us is always up to US. Blaming you and your family and regretting that he married you is WRONG. Just in case if he was obese have you said the same thing to him. No one likes being fat but there is a way to tell the person and the way does not include taunting and criticizing.

Please tell your husband that if he has a problem he should deal with it. During your pregnancy you have a right to be happy and not sad. Don't take it lying down just stand up for yourself and give it right back to him. Don't be a doormat, stand up for yourself.

As for your weight. Pregnant ladies do make a mistake of eating for 2 people. A healthy weight gain during pregnancy is 10-12 kgs and not more.

Can you work with a dietitian who can get you to lose weight in pregnancy and you will also be able to control your cravings. During pregnancy please work with an expert and don't try anything yourself.

And yes please do tell you husband, instead of making comments, he should search and pay for the dietitian.

Enjoy your life. You are bringing a new life in this world and that alone makes you so special. SO be happy. Start by taking a small step today, by searching for a dietitian in your areas and asking your husband to behave himself.

 

Dear Geethika,

Very sorry to hear about your situation.But I would say , do not worry about it now and just concentrate on eating nutritious dish as you need to be healthy now.Get in touch with a dietician and ask him/her to provide a chart which will provide you and the kid inside good nutrition.You should not be worrying about your weight now but concentrate on having good food.

Do not worry about what your hubby says.He should understand you now as you are carrying YOUR baby and he should be concerned about your health and the kid's health instead of cribbing about your weight.He should also understand that your worries and depression will affect the mental health of the kid too.He should not be embarassed about your weight now rather he should be happy that you are bearing YOUR(both) child.

For heaven sake , do not try out anything by yourself.Take the help of doctor.

You can concentrate on your weight reduction after your delivery.Having a fat body does not only amount to looking-fat but also to a lot of health complications.Better to avoid being fat.But you still have time to worry about it.

Tell your hubby to have a positive attitude in life and help you out while you are pregnant instead of passing such unscruplous comments.Some men will never understand the changes associated with pregnancy.

Enjoy your pregnanacy as you need to deliver a healthy child.

 

Geetika,

Well.. I can relate to you.. I was overweight due to medical issues earlier to wedding and wsnt one proper medications.. was just vigorous gyming 2 hours every day and saw no result for almost 4 years.. But then, after wedding I was on proper medicines for hormonal issues and the same amount of exercise I was used to, I managed to lose a grat deal of weight. I didnt become thin or anything but was really healthy and was alright ( atleast compared to how I was.. I mean to say, there was a definite change )

Now am Pregant and knew quite well I would gain.. And I did put on almost 7.5kgs.. But the catch is I am on my 7th month. So, my doctor feels my weight gain is good. It isjust baby weight. I am glad too. I dont eat junk or anything unless it is necessary. I have just increased my calorie intake to 300 more to what I was eating earlier. That is all. As ASG said, " eating for two " is a big time myth ! One doesnt have to. Especially, people like us who have been on plumpier side.

But, then the taunting could hurt I know. Especially, if it is sarcastic and come along when you dont want to hear it. You dont have to be on a diet.. But, you dont have to eat for " two " either ! The baby isnt considered " 1 " yet.. It is a small human with hardly a good more than a couple of pounds of fat. That is all you need for a healthy baby. A big baby is not considered healthy baby, it is just big.

You could also develop GD and hypertension if you gain " unnecessary weight " ! So, just go slow. You dont have to over indulge.

Tell your husband, YOU HEAR HIM. You will try and not gain too much weight and will work on reducing it after childbirth. So, he doesnt have to keep taunting and can stop it. I suggest you dont think emotional here and just look at him like he makes no sense ( atleast for now ) and keep yourself stress free.. ( even that can cause GD and hypertension ) So, relax and tell him to START TALKING as soon as you start your exercise regime and dieting post delivery.

Hey, it is not that you cannot exercise while you are pregnant. You can do yoga and less straining ones. I do salsa and yoga at home. But stop as soon as my heartbeat increases. I dont do it just because my pregnant colleague can do it for a little longer than me.. So, just listen to your body and go slow. Walking, Swimming is also good. So, see what best you can do to keep you healthy.

Funny thing is hubbies also put on weight alongwith pregnant wifes. My hubby keeps muching full time and I keep telling him not to ! Sometimes, it looks like our bellies size is on a competition.

So, dont take his comments too serious to heart nor too light to ignore. Practice it.. dont get emotional. It will seem fine to you.

Best luck for a healthy baby ! Take care.

 

Hey Preethi, I thought I caught you mentioning being pregnant a couple of posts ago, but wasn't sure and didn't want to jump to conclusions. But since you are saying openly now... please let me say CONGRATULATIONS to you. You are such a special person and know you are going to be a great mom. Really happy for you! :thumbsup

Sorry for diverting your thread Geethika... just wanted to give a shout out to Preethi.

One more thing Geethika... Preethi mentioned swimming. I have also heard swimming is very good because it doesn't put pressure on your feet like running or heavy walking would. Don't know though if this time of year the water would be too cold. Check in your area... lot of times there are yoga classes JUST for pregnant women! That way they only show moves that are safe and doable for women with 'baby on board'.