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my husban is embaressed that iam fat

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by geethikakumar, Feb 12, 2010.

  1. geethikakumar

    geethikakumar New IL'ite

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    hai friends,
    this is our 2nd year of marriage
    please help me my husband always blames me and my parents about being so fat and he regrets that he married me though iam fat my height is 5'7 and i weigh 87 kgs iam trying to reduce doing diet and exercise but i reduce very slowly and now iam pregnant he says that after pregnancy ill become more fat which he can not tolerate he says u maintain during that time also i said ok
    but iam feeling so bad when ever he scolds me for this
    please help me sholud i tell this to my parents
    iam staying in US with my husband now
    what shoul i do??
     
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  2. deepshikha

    deepshikha Senior IL'ite

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    Geethika,

    Ask your husband next time he blames you that shouldn't he be supporting you in your weight -loss efforts instead of attacking your self-esteem. Tell him how his outbursts make you feel bad about yourself.

    Also please during your pregnancy don't do any silly diets, your baby growing inside you will need nutrition so eat well and stay active(by doing doctor recommended exercises). If you stay active during pregnancy it will be easier to loose weight later. talk to your doctor about this in front of your husband. tell him that you need to eat well during pregnancy for the sake of baby.

    Once you have delivered meet your doctor regularly and begin an exercise routine recommended by the doctor. Tell this to your husband.

    Also tell him that his constant negative remarks about your weight upsets you which in turn will affect the baby growing inside you. Ask him what does he want, an hour-glass figured wife or a healthy baby and a dedicated wife. Tell him to stop attacking your self-esteem.
     
  3. Bethany

    Bethany New IL'ite

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    Hi Geethika,

    I totally agree with Deepshika. This is the time you need to concentrate
    more on your health as it will affect baby's growth and health. Once you get delivered.Try to take suggestions from doctor and plan for any exercise program but before all that

    1. Try to explain him smoothly,your DH not to effect your self-esteem,
    Also tell him very patiently that he is the person who should support you in all your goods and bads now and always, in the similiar way tell him you will also do the same.
    2. If you feel he will have any change then he is the one who guides you what steps to take in your diet program or any exercise.

    Definetely Things will be pretty positive if you can convince him about your feelings instead of you feeling very depressed.

    But now leave all these tensions and concentrate more on your health to have a healtier baby.

    Try the steps above and hope you will have a better time after delivery.
     
  4. sreesai

    sreesai Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Geethika,

    Congratulations on your pregnancy. As suggested by the above ILites, you have to eat properly during this stage. Don't take your husbands remarks seriously and get depressed. If you are depressed, it will affect your health and the baby too. Stay active during this phase. You can think of dieting after your delivery.

    - Sree
     
  5. fudge

    fudge Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Geethika..Congratulations!!!
    As everyone adviced this is definetly not the time to think about dieting but you can control on your sugar and fat intake. And Trust me you are not thatttt fat. you are fat not obese.(your BMI says so..). And believe me its so damn easy to shed of all those extra weight.Relax enjoy your pregnancy, eat healthy not junk.After your delivery concentrate on your food intake and in 6 months time you can easily get in shape.
     
  6. saipavani123

    saipavani123 Silver IL'ite

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    [justify]hey Geethika,

    Congratulations on your pregnancy :). As our ILites said please don't concentrate on weight now. I am sorry if I am commenting very rude on your husband....but how can a person comment on others physical features when they are God given ?? Every person is born with something or the other....and how can one comment on extra weight person has( i mean not commenting for health reasons...for beauty reasons)?? knowing its perfectly reducible ?? Even Aishwarya rai might be having defects(she might have undergone n number of surgeries )......If at all a human being is not born...or doesn't tend to have any defect or has perfect excellent beauty etc etc etc....then its Greek God not human being.....I don't know if there is some counseling available for this....but if it is please take him for that.... isn't he a human being?? doesn't he get white hair when he grows up ?? doesn't he bloat after certain age( everyone might not......) ?? Doesn't he get bald ?? Why doesn't he see good virtues in you ?? Why does he see half glass empty ?? He is your husband..he should support you to correct any defect....not to comment or hurt on it..... I am really sorry if I am being rude


    [/justify]
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2010
  7. ubellah

    ubellah Bronze IL'ite

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    Geethika,
    Congratulations on your motherhood!!!
    I would like to reiterate the point..don't worry about all these ..just stay cool(i know that's difficult..)Eat healthy foods..Don't exercise and strain yourself.Consult your doc and ask if you could do mild exercises..Your baby is much more important to you than your looks...
    I understand your case very well...as I belong to your category..
    Stay healthy and happy...
     
  8. MiaSen

    MiaSen Senior IL'ite

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    Hi geethika,
    I donno wat to say... its soo mean of him to pressurise u during ur pregnancy... sorry if am being lil harsh...
    If u are very determined, u can lose weight easily after delivery - am an example.. during my last trimester i weighed around 100+kgs and doc stopped weighing me after tat coz her machine couldnt weight beyond 110kgs...:rotfl
    After delivery i did healthy dieting, avoided all unwanted carbohydrates and excersiced for 40mins daily and today though am not slim, i dont look fat(tats wat everyone says :) ) and i weight around 67-69kgs...
    So dont take any of ur husbands words into ur mind...
    U have to eat healthy food and tats more important for ur baby...
    Post delivery do ur best lose ur weight :)
     
  9. vmtaurus

    vmtaurus Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Geethika

    Maybe your husband should concentrate on having a healthy baby and ensuring that you are also healthy for this rather than bug you about your weight! Please have a safe and healthy pregnancy. There are so many people out there who cant a baby for so many reasons! Please tell him that!
    I dont want to be harsh by saying the above but I think you need to ask your husband these Qs....
    You can always lose the weight once you have your child, and please note that you should be active, whether heavy or not!
    Good Luck for your life! :thumbsup
     
  10. meena2

    meena2 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Geethika:

    Congrats on your pregnancy.

    You are pregnant now and it is not the same as earlier. You will have lot of cravings some of them may be food related ones. All that is NORMAL and you have every right to keep yourself happy now. After all your well being will affect the health of the baby.
    So, don't worry about weight. Once you deliver you can start all your exercises to get to good shape. Consult a doctor and find out what kind of light exercises you can do now. Do not over stress your self. Think of your baby and ignore your dh's comments. Tell him that if he puts that kind of pressure on you then you will not be able to give him a happy healthy baby. First of all, IGNORE your dh's comments. Tell your dh to also accompany you for doctor chekups and that way he also will be involved. Be happy, eat well, listen to soothing music and read books of you interest.
    There is lot of life ahead to get your body to the shape that pleases your hubby BUT this is NOT THE TIME.

    You can do like this to stop him....tell him you also want to have a hubby whose body is like Hritihk Roshan's body. Then see the fun, he will never pick on you!!...
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2010

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