My hubby says am over reacting on his friendship with a lady collegue...

Nandshyam · Jul 13, 2010

I think you have sorted out your issues already, but wanted to give my thoughts just in case

I read all the posts. I am disturbed with this "give me a weeks time to distance myself from this friend" from him. I think you are being a bit too nice to him. What does he think he's doing? If his wife is not happy with this girl friendships, he better listen to her and make her happy especially when she is going thru a high risk pregnancy. I think you need to send this point across in whatever terms you think would reach him.

I see a pattern in his life here - he just cannot settle with one and wanted to keep trying adventures in life still being married/committed to you? that to me is morally wrong. he cannot ride 2 boats. Either he understands a marriage and be committed to you or he can choose to walk away and be a playboy as he wants. But he cannot cheat you and the unborn. That's disgusting. He should know that.

No, I would say you are not thinking anything negative or wild. It's every woman's fear. Especially when the platonic friendship grows too closer. He is just playing you down.

Not sure if you will show this post to the husband of yours, but I have something to say to you personally. Keep a safe copy of all these emails back and forth, all the SMS. You never know when they might be useful - legally I mean.

You have spent 12 years with this man and I think its high time you let him know that you will not tolerate his flirtatious character. If he respects you and this marriage, he better change.

I know it is hard, but try not to stress over it too much. Keep a safe copy of everything and thus concentrate on the little pie in you, spend time with him/her and feel relaxed. Nothing in this world including your husband is worthy enough to put pressure on this precious gift, yeah? Good luck and God bless

Painfultears · Jul 14, 2010

Dear Nandashyam... Thanks for ur post.. Yes though things seem to be ok for the past 1 week, many times I wonder the things that u have posted.. In spite of knowing of this being a high risk pregnancy after 2 miscarriages.. It took me so much to make him understand.. Still I know that he's not convinced with my decision but he's done it for me... But as u have rightly said even I thought this was a kind of pattern which he was developing n I didn't want that to happen... He says it's only friendship n nothing wrong... But it was quite difficult for me to understand this coz within 1 months of talk/ chats they have got close n started talking everyday... This made me mad.. As he complains to me that he dosent have time fo me as he has too much work pressure n tensions...then how come he has time for her.?? Even for that he had a answer that they used to share their office worries/ tensions as it's easy fir them to understand each other...
As of now all I believe is things r goin ok .. But I don't really know what's happening behind my back.. Coz he's away everyday for atleast 10-11 hrs everyday due to his office work... But now am not going to get worried or stressed about it anymore... I've done my best.. I've always been a good wife... N now if he still wants to continue these behind my back.. I wud only feel sorry for him that he's putting our marriage into pits.. I will definitely not go thro all these again n I will only try to isolate myself from him ... Let him realize and understand the importance of family.. A loving wife n also to add a cute pie who is goin to come into this world soon...
I hope he understands things n dosent repeat all this again...
Nandu, thanks again for ur post... Good luck to u...

Nandshyam · Jul 14, 2010

PF, yes... I always believe that if u are truthful, nothing bad will ever happen, no matter what. You were/are sincere in this relationship with him all your life, you did nothing wrong. Karma will take care So never worry, just enjoy this beautiful moment of your life.

Have fun, be happy !!!