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My House Becoming Transit Centre

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Vedhavalli, Apr 24, 2017.

  1. GoneGirl

    GoneGirl Gold IL'ite

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    These folks are really pushy.. how do they not get it that they are not welcome to your place?

    Pick up some ready to eat curries, readymade rotis, noodles, bread, eggs and cereal..when they come, tell them you are sick ( migraine works well) and need to rest..show the friend and his wife your kitchen and have them get their food themselves..retire to your bedroom with a headphone and a laptop and spend the day watching movies :)
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2017
  2. Elsa

    Elsa Gold IL'ite

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    OMG! Thats bad. Inviting one_self over , that too during work days!

    OP, please do not work too hard to provide them hot meals and drinks at home. Ask your husband to take you out and then split the bill into two. Show them the kitchen and tell them to help themselves and like others mentions, have some basic ready to eat items like bread, fruit spread and butter, cereal and some quick to make stuff like microwaveable curries, roties etc, ready to mix puliyogare paste. Also, going out to a mall with your kid or a spa leaving your kid with your husband might not be a bad idea too.
     
  3. Priyaarul25

    Priyaarul25 New IL'ite

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    Hi @Vedhavalli, yu are a star according to me fr putting up with these kinda ppl this long. Jus do yourself a favour by going on a holiday trip last minute, seriously!! This new couple with a baby ,why do they have to trouble you even after saying no. Generally ppl after one rejection they jus back off nd there are these kinda ppl toooo on earth!! Ask them to book a nice hotel with cooking facilities nd there is nothing they cant do with a rice cooker.. ask em to carry one to cook fr their baby. Nowadays ppl go on roadtrips with their lil ones..nd all they rely upon is some rice cooker or portable cooking options. They think having a baby can get them want they want. They are trying to use you coz yu both are kind hearted ppl. Its only wen yu start saying no they will understand. Never worry abt ppl talking bad abt yu or hosting, you are a star already. I was too once a person who used to cook 30 - 40 chappathis per meal , serving a full course lunch thali, sending gravy alone fr lunch daily nd all. It was all fr the need fr perfection/ satisfaction- both the guests nd mine nd couldnt say no coz of the emotional 'am staying away frm my family card' . But At one point being all alone in an unknowm country nd town nd doing all routine work was very tiring nd all i wanted was rest. So wen reality stuck i chose my comfort more than anybody's satisfaction or the title of good host My DH has always been supportive of me..wch ever way i choose to be, he actually doesnt want to me exert more pressure on myself. So its upto you to change your situations according to you. Wen they can come uninvited, you guys can plan a trip without informing them. I know this would seem rude. But you dont run a hotel service here. If yu cant plan a trip , have some ground rules atleast, like the lady should help with lil chores, keepin the place clean nd all. Serve them simple meals involve your DH in the cooking even the lady too . It seems like your DH is understanding your situation too by his recent responses but still ppl get away with his kindness, such a kind hearted person!! Why havent i come across such ppl?? So give him time. Experiences and TIME can change anybody. Arguments nd fights with him will have only adverse effects. Work as a team nd send this couple offf soon !! Tata take care vedha!!
     
  4. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Was he supposed to keep it a secret? Like some lesser known, hidden spot of natural beauty that the locals beg the occasional tourist not to blab about on tripadvisor?
     
    Amica likes this.
  5. Dishaa

    Dishaa Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Why not if the guests can be shameless, irrespective of ur and ur Dh refusal they are even changing their plans, so for these types u have to be like this.
    According to me these guests are very mean and selfish minded persons with no courtesy at all, not worth to be friends.

    Why do the hosts have to bear the hotel expenses, these to be borne by the guest.

    Whenever any guests visits our house (excluding parents) they are the ones who prepare the break fast, lunch, evening brunch, dinner for themselves and us (after mom's death) earlier I could remember they used to help my mom in doing the household work, same my parents did during their visits.

    Whenever there was any kind of family outings the guests used to bear the hotel/food expenses or travel cost (which ever was higher) there is a mutual understanding (exceptions were there sometimes).

    After mom's death what my dad implemented we used to give them gifts or cash and if the hosts take efforts to cook anything special menus we purchase all the required raw materials as I was never allowed to do any work by them so never did but always offer to help them.
     
  6. preethiitech

    preethiitech Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Which planet are your guests from???!! I too want them
     
    sumalynux likes this.
  7. Dishaa

    Dishaa Silver IL'ite

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    Ha ha they are my uncles and aunty (Paternal and Maternal side). Dh side a few of cousins are problem creators so we don't entertain them at home (supported by Dh, In laws and my Papa) touch wood never had to face these types of issues ....
     
  8. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Man, some people are just shameless eh?! If they can be shameless, you can be too. Let them come this time. Then you tell them you cannot keep doing this anymore in a very polite way. Tell them DIRECTLY. to hell with courtesies at this point.
     
  9. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    ya same here. I am amazed at the number of people who are going through this. With the exception of once, I never had to go through this.
     
  10. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, I can relate to you well. I also treat guests really well, like god. It is difficult to do otherwise. Also take lot of efforts to cook or entertain. But live in an area where there is nothing to see. So not many visitors.

    Look like you are in Washington or similar places. where there are lot of things to see.
    Tell me where your house is .. next time we will try it:smiley::smiley::smiley::smiley:

    If your dh is working he can continue it. He can tell them that he will work on those days.
    If you are staying at home make it simple and continue with your programs.
    People prefer Indian food by the end of the day. That why they prefer this way.

    So try to give western style food like cereal, bread, juice. Sandwitches, only ready made rotis or curries etc.. dont cook much. Look like you are a good cook& host and that is why you are getting 5* reviews from the friend ( I remember you mentioned mashroon biryani once)

    I have got not so good experience. One I remember, we stayed in with a cousins family (dh side) for one or two night. But no body cooked anything special. Offered cereals. We tried to eat from outside, tried our level best to not to disturb them. It was working day. They continued with their work. They left home to work giving key of their home. In the evening we have to cook. (my dh asked me to cook). They didnt even clean the bath room or bed room ( I have to use sprays in the end). Other wise they behaved well. I find it difficult to understand why it is so. What I understood is that they dont want to take any extra effort to entertain guests or may be it is their style.

    But when they visited our home long back I made all the Indian dishes I can, to make them happy (working day). I offered them a great bed/bath room with all facilities (new towel, new soap, etc like in a hotel, it was lot of work). But this is what I got back.

    Now a days, we try to stay in hotels as much as we can. Stay only with close friends who treat us well or who visit us often.

    But dont understand how strangers like this can come stay. I am not able to understand their psychology. They are not able to understand your hints or just ignore it to save money?. It is very difficult to allow acquaintance like this to stay in our home. I have never faced similar situations.
    Be smart , make it simple and learn to say no in various ways
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2017

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