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My Friend Was Blackmailed, I Need Help.

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Shantanu007, Sep 24, 2018.

  1. Shantanu007

    Shantanu007 New IL'ite

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    In December-January my friend was under a lot of stress. She asked me for rs10,000. I asked her what is the cause for the money (medical/family etc) She said no to all. So I said I will only help if you tell me what do you want it for.

    Some days later she called me and said: "Da, I am at Bangalore bus stop and I don't have any place to stay/live" (Her home is in kerala, she lives in pg in Bangalore) I was shocked and thought she is playing some kind of prank. I asked what is going on but she didn't tell me anything. I will help her find her a room, but she said she wants to move in with me. I was shocked, why does she want to move in with a boy? And why she doesn't want to go to any of her friend's house? (Now I know, that she was looking for shelter and someone to protect from criminals, her friends are locals and they must have rejected her request so that they don't get any dirt).

    In June she met me and I knew something is wrong because I can see the pain in her eyes. I investigated and in July I came to know that some really bad bad people blackmailed her in Dec-Jan and took a lot of money from her. The person blackmailed is a very bad person he has good reach in police and political party. He must have something compromising material of hers (I guess sex tape I don't know for sure.).
    She gave up on his demands and became his girlfriend. More like hostage girlfriend.

    I called her in 4th Aug and told her that I did all the research and My uncle is a high court lawyer and told her that I will fight for her, just tell me everything honestly. She called me 3 times on 8th of Aug, but I was not able to pickup the call that day cause I was carrying a different number at that time. Somedays before I sent her a FB request also, but I deactivated my FB a long time ago so I sent a request from the profile which has 0 friends and 0 posts. She thought I was creeping on her. She stopped picking up my call. I called her for 15-20 days. I messaged her a lot and told her to trust me. I want to help.

    I got really stressed out. I knew none of her friends are helping her in this matter and I knew she is not fighting against him, she has just accepted this. I told her a lot that if someone blackmails you once they will blackmail you again.
    She tried to fight her in December and ended up giving up on his demands and paid a lot of money too. He knows she has no resistance. I fear that he will use her as long as he wants and when he will get bored of her, he will ask for more money from her. Why will he let her go now? She is a pot of gold for him.

    I contacted NGO named vimochana for help (I didn't want to contact police because that blackmailer will know about it). But vimochana said to contact police, They are too understaffed to council each person individually and help.

    I thought its best to contact her family. I told her to tell this to someone she trusts. I told her I am telling this to her uncle "P". At first, she said she don't know any "P", then later she said she will call police on me if I did so. I told her to be honest with your family, your family is your best support.

    I told her uncle everything, but I must have sounded crazy to him because I was really stressed out. He blocked me instead.

    I don't know what to do now? I know she is in trouble and in the future, the situation will get even worse. I know none of her friends are encouraging her to fight back.

    Everyone around me is saying that she is grown adult she can handle it herself. I know she wants to fight back and no one is helping her. She always looked up to me for help. That's why she was asking for shelter in my room in January and in Aug she called me back, but then lost trust in me.

    I dont want to just leave her there to suffer. But I dont know how to help her now
     
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  2. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    A person who does not want to take help of her own family. It is clear from the above that there is something shady in her dealings. She has been staying independently and got into trouble. If she was really interested in sorting out her life, she should approach her family. You have informed her uncle. If they care for her, even if your version isnot convincing to them, they would try to help. I feel you will clearly be getting yourself into trouble in trying to help her.
    When she is capable of threatening you not to inform her family and she would call the police on you, it is clear , she is capable to using such tactics in future to get her way. If she is really in trouble, you can once again convey about keeping her family in the picture. Anything further would only mean trouble for you, unless you are emotionally involved with her and want to help in spite of all this! take care.
     
    Shantanu007, sindmani and iamsrihere like this.
  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    She is neither willing to take help of family nor police .
    She has threatened to call the police on you.

    On your part,you have asked for help on her behalf,you have contacted her family.

    If you go to police,she will deny everything and you will be in trouble.

    If you go to her family,she may call the police on you instead.
    you can't helpif she doesn't want you to help.

    You can send her numbers of women helpline .
    If she is willing to go for help later on..you can get her in touch with the women's gp or a lawyer.

    Till then it is better you stay away from the issue.
    She is an adult and you can't do much without her consent .
    If it was a child...then it would be different.
     
    Shantanu007 and sindmani like this.
  4. Shantanu007

    Shantanu007 New IL'ite

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    I am is 100% sure that person has blackmailed her and harassed her a lot. She changed 3 number in a month and dropped out of MBA suddenly. She told me it's for financial problems. It must be due to him harassing her a lot.

    If you would have seen her in December, you would have known for sure that she was in a lot of pain.. she got soo thin and looked unhealthy. I thought someone died in her family and she is having a problem because of that. That's why I didn't push her to tell me what is going on.

    See I don't know everything and she was not willing to tell me clearly because she didn't trust me fully. So I told her uncle. I don't know what kind of relationship she has with her uncle but I thought they would least investigate a bit.

    I did a simple investigation and found out so much (asking friends etc).

    she is capable of using such tactics in future to get her way.

    She is capable of doing nothing. I know her well. She is very innocent and dumb, she can't even lie properly She depends on her friend too much and talks to her a lot. Her friend is a local and I bet she just wants to give her a solution in which she won't get in trouble.

    She told me that if you call my uncle then "god promise" I will call the police. I told her to stop fighting me, I am on your side and you need to tell this to your parents, or it will get worse. I am doing this for you. I told her uncle and she did nothing. She is not very smart, I know her well.

    I was shocked to learn that when she was fighting that blackmailer in dec-jan, her friend's advice was to just give up on his demands and let it be over. She paid him money and then gave up on his demands afterward, it's like paying money to get raped.

    She called in Feb and said one line that I will never forget. "Problem solved... happy... no"

    That's why she was looking for shelter in my room. She wanted to move in with a boy, that shocked me even more that in whole Bangalore she don't even have a friend who will accept her.

    I knew if i tell her uncle she will lose all faith in me and will never talk to me again. I thought that is the best thing for her.

    I just want to know if there is someone who can be her best friend and tell her that "we can fight back". No mater how strong the blackmailer is, we can still win and we can punish him. I just want someone to council her, empower her. Tell her that she is not alone.

    My uncle is a very powerful lawyer and my sister in law fought against Salman Khan's hit and run case. If she wants to get help, I will help until the end. I will do everything for her.

    Every day I get nightmares about what happened to her. She was so innocent, she told me once that how isolated she feels in her pg because all her friends drink alcohol every weekend. The blackmailer is so bad person, total criminal, he made her drink. People in her pg are also informant to that blackmailer. That's why she said to me that "Da, I am at bangalore(majestic) bus stop and I have no place to go/live" I know how these kind of people are. They keep girls like her for pleasure.

    I feel very bad for her. I also feel very guilty that I didnt took her seriously in January.
     
  5. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    You could ask this lawyer relative of yours for advice.
    Then you will know if it is possible to help her legally.

    If the girl does not want to fight back or let you help her,then she should not be messaging you to make you feel guilty.

    I feel you may not know the full story .
    Besides even if you are right,you can't help unless she cooperates.

    Talk to your lawyer and see if there is a way to help .
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2018
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  6. Shantanu007

    Shantanu007 New IL'ite

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    I have talked to them and they said we can make a case against but she needs to speak for that. I cannot force lawyers upon her.

    Her biggest problem is she does not speak clearly, She just tell enough to disturb me and then I have to find out what is going on?? In Jan if she would have said clearly what is wrong then I would have helped her directly.

    Now also, When I said that "I know he blackmailed you and took money from you, I will help you to fight back". She said she we call later to tell all the details, she did call but i was not able to pickup call at that time, then she started ignoring my calls. I called her for 15-20 days and messaged her.

    I said to her "this is not a joke, this is about your life. He will ruin your life if you won't fight back". She is so annoying like this.

    I dont know if I have some problem talking to her, or if she wants to talk to someone else.

    There must be some people who can talk and counsel people in need. Like the suicide hotline. Someone who she can trust and talk properly.

    I 100% know that something bad happened to her and a part of her wants to fight back. But a part of her is also scared and afraid.
    I dont know what to do now.
     
  7. Shantanu007

    Shantanu007 New IL'ite

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    I am searching for women helpline number or any paid professionals who can talk to women in need like her and counsel her properly.

    Who will be the person in this situation she can talk to other than police? To which she can trust and talk to.

    I will give her the message to talk to that person or institute.
     
  8. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Irrespective of whatever the blackmail is, if only she gets the strength to come out of that place, you can help her and make her talk..If she chooses to be where she is, you never know in kind of situation she is..So if only she takes the first step to help herself, she can escape form her situation , else its difficult.

    If you are genuinely concerned, explain her this, if she still doesn't understand I would suggest you to stop involving in this case because it is of no use to anyone.
     
    Shantanu007 likes this.
  9. Shantanu007

    Shantanu007 New IL'ite

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    She wants to get out I know..

    See on Aug 4th i called her talked to her for 15 mins or so. I said that "I now know, how big this problem is and I will truly help her." I explained everything that I have contacts with very powerful lawyers and everything will be ok.
    I also told her that I have been with these kinds of men and I understand her pain. I know how these men use girls like her.

    She was listening to me and I heard her get emotional also.
    She said that she will call me later with all the details and she did call me 3 times on 8th AUG. but my bad luck I didn't pick up.
    And sent her FB request from a blank profile. Then to explain to her that I am not a wrong person and she can trust me... I called way too many times in a day.

    I have the anxiety problem and whenever things like this happen I get really tensed up and do stupid things like this. I have messed up my life because of this I don't want to mess her life too.
    She lost trust in me because of this.

    See I am in regular contact with her on WhatsApp, but I never had any serious conversation with her. But still, she uses to say things like.. "Not happy"... "Hiding pain under smile". I never knew the problem was this serious.

    I once asked her "What happened, PG girls fight?"... and she thought and said yes.. As If she wanted to say something else.

    I know she wants help and I know she doesn't have anyone helping her or else she would have sorted it out by now.

    if only she gets the strength to come out of that place.
    I don't know how to give her strength? I called her family thinking they will help.

    I feel like she was trusting me only and was looking up to me for help. My stupidy blew it all up. I don't know if she has someone to talk to.

    I cant even contact her.. because she said so. If I push her.. she might take wrong steps also.

    That's why I am looking for someone professional who can talk to her.
    In the case of domestic violence, How do NGO empower women? Because women generally don't speak up due to the fear of divorce or pressure.
     
  10. Brevity

    Brevity Gold IL'ite

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    I think, the first step would be to consult a trusted lawyer. Collect and save as much proof of the abuse. Contact women's cell, other NGOs and keep the proof. Contact police with the lawyer on your side. It would be better to go through an all women's police station or file the petition with an honest higher up official. If the person is influential, the girl can also go to press with some anonymity. With some publicity and proof on your side, fudging the case by the influential person would be harder.

    I am not sure if we can file a criminal case directly with the court without going to police. A good lawyer could guide you through it.
    Hope your friend comes out of this hell soon and hope you garner up the strength for both of you.
     
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