My FIL is a gold digger

GIJoe and AJ
Thanks.. We both were working and I just left my job last month in hopes of finding another as I was traveling 7 hours daily. By a miracle I got pregnant 2 weeks after my last day at work. The 32 lakhs was just one time. We had close to 90 lakhs of loan because of that man and no, we are from a very middle class family. My SIL on the other hand is married into a very rich family. We both worked and all we are every doing is paying off his loans. About 1.5 years ago I told my parents finally and they got very angry and asked me to save some money which I have. Now that I left my job my husband is insisting that we cant pay monthly installments for all of IL's loans so I have to take my saving. I dont have too much saved but he is saying even if it is 2-3 lakhs we should just break it. I am feeling very upset as my husband is not understanding that we need some saving. Also when my parents went to meet my IL when he was sick my mom told me, they spend money like water. They have 2 physiotherapist coming every day, if auto driver asks 100 they are paying 200, doctor says medicine will cost 1500 and his mother gives 2000 and the nurse never returns the rest of the money. I know that we are responsible for his loans,we will be paying it for another 20 years... (that is with the best financial planning we have done)

My MIL is a bigger cheat... so no point talking to her. When I realized they pawned my jewelsI called up my SIL and told her that this is really unfair. She then called them up and my DH payed to take back the jewels after which I left it in my parents place. I havent talked to them nicely after that incident.. if they ask for me I just say Hi-Hello.

Sad part is I was very close to my MIL.. she used to come to stay with us for one or 2 months every year and she used to only sleep in our bed. Never do any work except cooking and I used to take her shopping every weekend cos I felt that they are dependant parents so we should be nice to them. And to realize that she cheated us as well, I just cant get over it.

My husband says he has told them all the situation we are in.. but I dont know what is wrong. If I tell my husband he understands and he tells me I have spoken to them they are not doing anymore fraud (he actually uses this word) but I dont trust them at all. My DH is very nice and I feel they are taking advantage of us. He doesnt want to go over the board and create a bigger rift because of money and he doesnt mind that I dont talk to them nicely.

He says I understand what they did is wrong.. and you are upset. But I have to talk to them as they are my parents. If we ask IL, he says he did some business.. sometimes he says gambling.. sometimes share market.. and most of the times.. he just says "Dont ask me, I am very upset. I cannot speak about it.. and acts as if he has a heart attack if we bring up the topic"

Anyways, I have told my husband.. this is the last loan we have accepted. If IL has even 1000 ruppees more loan I am filing for divorce. I feel at the end of the day it is my husbands fault.. If we are fooled once, twice or thrice it is the opposite persons smartness but if we are fooled again and again it means we are really fools and I dont want to die married to a fool. I told him this and he claims it is not foolish , it is being Human and I dont agree..

Thanks ladies, I really feel good venting out here. Now, inspite of being pregnant I have to find a job soon as we realised we cannot manage with one person's salary.

 

Thanks Srividya. I think I will do that. I am sure he can use that excuse and tell them I am handling the money. Let me try it this month.

I basically do not want them to come before the kid is here. My DH wants them to come during my 5th month itself and I am still wondering how to escape from the trauma of having those people here. I am sure I will be better of without them even with my nervousness then have them around. :bowdown

 

Yes, we revoked the power of attorney. They are living in the house we built only. They already sold all her jewels and sold some of mine too. When we took back my jewels from the pawn shop we only received some of them, many were not there and MIL says that was it. My mother has everything written down but we dint want to argue over it so just left it at that.

Whenever we say we dont have money they go and ask my SIL. They know my SIL has money and she says "Ok I will give you". Then she calls up my DH and says I will give them but you pay me back when you have. My DH cannot say anything at those times. When I spoke to her I told her please dont pay anymore money. We also earn like you people and it is very embarasing for me to always owe you guys money. She said "OK I will not pay" and has not since then.

God knows where they spend so much money.. as they havent even got me a salwar till now. When they come to visit us also she hasnt even got sweets.

I think I will have a big fight with my husband and make him understand that saying NO does not hurt. If FIL has a heart attack because of that it may be the best thing to happen :hide:

 

Our lifestyle is really below average and way below most of my peers. We only recently upgraded to a new living room set and have always had second hand furniture from goodwill.

Regarding selling the house, so 1 year ago I convinced my husband to sell it and he was fine. He told my IL's and they did their drama act saying "sure, we put you through so much crap and we will sell it immediately". We will go and stay in your other house. I immediately said "No, they have to stay in a rental place in the native city". My DH and I had lots of arguments and I said "Ok, let us first sell it, later we will see where they have to say". Then FIL called and said market is down we are not getting enough price ... so we will check back later. Since we are here and native place is really small we cant find anybody from here. I also tried with my parents contacts but no use. Then 2 months ago I blew up and told my DH what the hell is going on why is it taking 1 year to even find one guy? Its a decent house and we are willing to sell at any price.

So last week (this is why I even posted in IL after all these years) he spoke to my IL's and screamed at them.. and for that MIL says, we want to stay in this house for 2 years but dont know how to tell you. Already so many problems so we were ashamed to talk to you. All tears and drama. 2 people came and asked and we dint tell you... etc. My DH told me and had one more argument over it.

So far all the loans that we already have is with us, we have agreed (actually DH has agreed) to repay.. so now we cant go back. IL says no new loans are there and SIL says they arent doing any fraud anymore.

But based on all your replies, I think i have decided. I am going to take the fone and tell IL's to sell that house. I really dont care what they think abt me and I never did. I wanted to save my marriage as best as I can and value their age... but it is going beyond my head now. Specially after they talked last week and the fact that my DH is behind my savings to return the loan.