My Fiancé Is Forcing To Get Pregnant After One Month Of Marriage

How much time do you have before your wedding ? I dont think having disagreements per se is bad. But conflict resolution techniques are more important. It is desirable to have a partner who doesnt make decisions unilaterally and then throws a tantrum or acts moody when the spouse has a different opinion.

The way he is responding to your point of view isnt very mature and this could be a symptom of more things to come. Have you considered what else you have different opinions on ?

Your current plan of action is basically to do your own thing (contraceptives) while he thinks he is getting his way. It may work but it may also trigger other issues if you are not frank with him. Issues such as questioning your fertility when you havent conceived within the first few months. And am wondering how he might react after marriage when you later tell him/he finds out that you have postponed pregnancy per your own plan. Will his rudeness escalate ? Will it come in the way of experiencing a blissful marital life that you hope for before having kids ?

Talking about your preferences honestly at this stage will be best for you both. Try to find a middle path if possible. If he continues his aggressive behavior or if his rude behavior escalates it might be a good time to step back and evaluate if he is indeed the right man for you.

 

I understand his respect for his dad but he is being ridiculous.having kids is not a joke and how sure does he know U will even get pregnant first month itself?he is being immature and why should he be rude though??

I think u need to talk to him about this.u guys need some time for urselves before having a kid.parenting will come eventually.if he is adamant I don't think this prospect should go on..

 

The fact that he is pressuring you is a red flag. Is he going to be controlling about other aspects of your life too?
Secondly how does he know that you will conceive immediately? Even if everything is normal it can take some months to become pregnant. Will he start blaming you if conception doesn't happen according to his timetable?
His anxiety about his parent's health is perhaps causing this irrational behavior. However unless you can talk it out and come to a satisfactory mutual understanding I would think carefully about how you want to proceed.

 

If thats what you want to do...go ahead. I doubt any harm can come from speaking openly & involving pertinent ppl.
But IL is full of stories of women who overlooked red flags before marriage and end up in bigger problems.

Is his threat empty ? What if you call his bluff and stick to your point of view ? Second what if you took a stronger position with him.i.e you tell him that if he cannot agree with a mutually acceptable timeline you cannot proceed any furthur. How wld he react ?

 

Pavitra,

I understand that you do not want to cancel this marriage because it is going to become very complicated for both the families.But you not giving a proper response to him is only going to make him feel controlling and demanding. You need to put your foot down immediately if you think you cannot cater to his whims and fancies. Also that he has said you either accept or he will not marry you is not fun/silly to hear.Infact he is threatening you.

If I were you,I would have tried any of the following points.

1)First explain him that getting a baby does not happen like in movies,he should know the no.of fertility clinics opened these days, because it is taking time for many people. If it getting delayed for you like many other people,he shouldn't start questioning about your fertility and start talking about doctor appointments.As you said everything has its time.If you start it early in your marriage especially with you not being interested,you may only get stressed .This again will affect your chances of conceiving.Show him articles and others about how patient one needs to be in this regard. Better to leave it the natural flow instead of setting a deadline.

2)Talk about this to your elder siblings or involve the family if point no.1 doesn't help.

3) Call off this wedding if even after involving elders doesn't put sense to him/his family.

4)Agree to it .