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My driving issues-pls suggest how to resolve

Discussion in 'General Discussions - USA & Canada' started by racr, Jul 13, 2012.

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  1. Jul 13, 2012 #1
    racr

    racr Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi all,
    All the posts related to driving issues,fears etc are a bit old,so am posting my problem here.Though many have posted here about that,not many have got back saying how they got over their fears and got the DL.Ideally I'd never want to drive,but here,its a necessity.So,am hoping you all will help me out with my specific driving issues!

    Well,here goes-
    1)Like many ILites,I have this fear of driving which totally overcomes me.I start sweating,go blank etc. I have already taken more than 6 hours of lessons,with not much improvement. :hide: I read some post which said that 2-3 classes should be enough to get the DL.That means I'm really dumb. In the middle,I have also managed to cause an accident(which still gives me nightmares).My DH gets really psyched with my driving(will not get into details) .The last time,I got really nervous and bang! NOw I haven't driven for a few months.If I go back to my instructor,am sure he'll say that I need to start from scratch.I can't afford to spend a fortune again. Driving with my DH is also ruled out.WHAT should I do? My daughter is also not ready to sit in the car if I drive !

    2) I have a problem keeping in the lane.I go zig-zag.:bonk.I always feel that the car is outside the lane.From behind the wheel,it always seems like that the car is so big and it is outside the lane.My instructor said that nobody else has that problem.IS that true?Why do I alone have this perception?

    3) I can rarely judge a turn.Right turn,either I take a very wide turn and i'm in the middle of 2 lanes or I take a sharp turn and land on the curb.Thats how the accident happened.:( .Left turns are better,but sometimes I get onto a wrong lane.

    4) CHanging lanes - don't ask!

    5) Parking ,reversing -nightmare.-My instructor said that only after I learn to drive in a lane and turn properly,he will teach me that.

    6)Is there any specific sloka/meditation technique to overcome my fear?

    I was very happy when I passed my written test and got my learners permit.Now that has also expired.I didn't know that I have to do the whole thing again now.I can't.My DH has no time to take me again to the office.I have lost all confidence to do anything.I think I will vegetate at home,along with my daughter. I'm so irritated.How come that such a 'developed country' like U.S doesnt have a decent public transportation in all cities?
     
    racr, Jul 13, 2012
    racr, Jul 13, 2012
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  2. Jul 13, 2012 #2
    flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    You need lots of practise that's all. People who use scooters, bikes find car driving easy as they have traffic sense and can follow traffic rules.
    Why are you moving the steering wheel all the time , the car will zig zag if you do. Keep the steering wheel steady and your car will go straight.
    You are just nervous and your family has made you more so. Maybe the US system of driving is confusing you.
    Try practising driving in vacant roads where there is no traffic.You can do it.
     
    flowerlady, Jul 13, 2012
    flowerlady, Jul 13, 2012
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  3. Jul 13, 2012 #3
    Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    Don't worry. It's just a matter of driving around in empty parking lots and at night when the traffic is heavy.

    For the lane problem, it's just an illusion you feel. At the beginning everybody has different anxieties. Just relax and keep practicing. You will be fine.

    Whenever you have time try driving around, after a while you will get comfortable. Stop thinking about anything. Think you are special and you can do anything in life. You will get it.
     
    Foundlove, Jul 13, 2012
    Foundlove, Jul 13, 2012
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  4. Jul 13, 2012 #4
    Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    and once you are comfortable, you will feel as to how you even managed with out a car so far, trust me :)

    you are not dumb. just relax first of all.

    I would suggest not to look at the lanes through the side view mirrors - that is what is causing the zig zag for when you turn your head, you are automatically moving the steering and you realize instantly and that moves the steerng more. If you are worried about keeping inlane, it is best to look at the car infront of you and simply follow placing wise keeping a 2 car distance.

    This comes with practice keeping you eye on the right line while turning left and vice versa will help you learn to judge!

    Best to practice on two lane roads and smaller roads. Later on taking yourself on high way will help.

    Well for parking, even if you have to park farther, park away from other cars - just focus on learning to park with in the lines first. That will also help you reverse.

    No idea here but certainly keeping calm helps...so take deep breaths :)

    Perhaps a neighbor can help here, just for the written exam?

    You should not vegetate, get your permit, start taking around your apartment complex in the evenings by your self after DH comes home. Then move to a single lane road to double lane smaller roads, then get your permit and venture to higway slowly. Keep small targets as Indian stores, nearest grocery, park etc.

    Though the last para looks lengthy, it is not that hard. Just persistently trying builds your confidence. I don't think you need any more classes but if your husband can work with you it will help. Who ever it is, husband or instructor, start with a clean slate, slow, confident and you will be driving soon.

    Oh another great place if you have not already tried is high school grounds. Since all those kids get their permit, they have marked off areas for parallel parking as well as for driving. Go there on weekends to practice. You just have to do it, so just accept it and go for it! You can!
     
    Srama, Jul 13, 2012
    Srama, Jul 13, 2012
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  5. Jul 13, 2012 #5
    racr

    racr Platinum IL'ite

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    You are right,I keep moving the steering wheel without realizing.Yes,the lanes are a bit confusing.I always feel that I will turn into the wrong lane(left turn) and bang into oncoming car.God only knows when I will get out of this.My husband thinks that I do it deliberately,so that I can get out of driving a car.What is so simple for him is a big challenge for me. But I know I have to do it,its getting to me now.
     
    racr, Jul 13, 2012
    racr, Jul 13, 2012
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  6. Jul 13, 2012 #6
    racr

    racr Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you Foundlove. Its so heart-warming to see that you,whom I have never met,has more confidence in me than me myself or my DH!!
     
    racr, Jul 13, 2012
    racr, Jul 13, 2012
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  7. Jul 13, 2012 #7
    racr

    racr Platinum IL'ite

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    Srama,Thank you so much! i really appreciate the point by point response. You are so right.Whenever I look at the side view mirrors,not only my eyes,I also go that side :(.

    I don't know anyone here,as I'm new here.There are no Indians around,I guess I have to beg my DH for some time.The first time I went,there was such a long line.I somehow studied and passed the written test.I blew the chance I had.Now I feel I should have taken the driving test anyway.But I had the accident just a few days before the test,and it took me sometime to recover from the physical and mental injuries.My instructor said that he would help me ,but I refused.Now I;m back to square one. My DH has bought a hi-fi car,even though used,is pretty intimidating.

    Hey,I didn't know about the high school parking area thing.Will try it.

    Had some more questions -

    1) Can I drive in parking lot without a learners permit? I know that for driving I need at least a learners permit.
    2) I'm quite short,just about 5 feet.Do you think thats a problem while driving.I need to adjust the seat to max to reach the BA. But I do have a problem while reversing,as I can't see much when I look back to reverse. I hear that in the driving test,they insist that you look back when you reverse.Cant I manage by looking at the rearview and side mirrors? I asked my instructor about it and all he says,first you learn to drive in the lane and turn.How irritating is that?
    I don't want to drive,I wish there was a workaround.I think God has sent me here to get over my fears :(
     
    racr, Jul 13, 2012
    racr, Jul 13, 2012
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  8. Jul 13, 2012 #8
    Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    You are welcome racr, see already one issue resolved :)

    Have you checked their website to see if you can schedule a test for a certain time, so that you just walk in and walk out?

    I am sorry about the accident. It is difficult to get over the fear. But you have to try racr.

    That could also be adding to your problem of fear. Is there room for you to rent a simple small car say for 15days - I know that way you are commiting but would you agree it is one way to get over the fear as well as commit to a date? Think of it as money you would spend on driving school.

    That trust me si the best place - they even will have parallel parking space with five cones, knock them off as much you want and practice :)

    It should be ok as long as your DH drives you there and you just practice there making sure there are no other cars in the way. Like I said, weekends are best! Also may be your DH and DD can wait in the side as you gently manouver and feel the car out for a couple of days!

    I have known freinds who have used sofa cushion to get the height. Do you think tha will help - choosse a nice firm cotton cushion and see if that works for you! I also have friends who are short and don't use anything!

    I haven't heard of that. Can you check if it would suffice if you tuned back to look to make sure it is all clear and then just reverse? I am just thinking out loud.

    Yes you can! Usually rear view is the only one I use!

    Time to change tha chap :)

    Get that thought out of your mind. It isn't as big a deal as people make it or you feel it. Just think about it racr 100s of thousands of people drive and many more get a permit every day, it cannot be rocket science now Can it be?
    I thought you were speaking about IL but the smiley says you are speaking of America......well turn around that face up, make it a happy smiley and like I have said earlier get on with a new start.

    Keep us updated and best wishes!
     
    Srama, Jul 13, 2012
    Srama, Jul 13, 2012
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  9. Jul 13, 2012 #9
    racr

    racr Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks,Srama. Will keep your points in mind. In another thread(Manju's) also,I got the advice to rent a car.My DH will divorce me if I damage his car again ;)!
    Well,IL and ILites are my friends,soul sisters,support system all rolled into one.Everyday I read something here which gives me a lot of guidance,hope,a smile/laugh or two definitely! Here's a :) and hug for you! More power to me and all who want to master the skill of driving!
     
    racr, Jul 13, 2012
    racr, Jul 13, 2012
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    1 person likes this.
  10. Jul 18, 2012 #10
    nikkiz

    nikkiz New IL'ite

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    Hi Racr,
    I am not sure if this will help, but trust me things happen, especially controlling turns and keeping in lane. I thought I would share some tips with you about how to stay in a lane and control turns.

    1) For the lane, what I used when I started driving was I kept a small silver foil at the bottom of my windshield where the lane on the road and my eyesight intersect (giving some margin space that am comfortable with). So I know if the foil and the line on the road are inline, am comfortable in lane.

    2) Deliberately practice holding the wheel firm when turning for lane changes. Do this consciously for some time and then it will start coming naturally. That way, the vehicle doesnt stray when you are checking mirrors etc.

    3) For turns, the trick is to first practise turning in some big empty parking lot at very slow speed. Turn around the lines marked for parking. You need to master the art of straightening the wheel at the right time after executing the turn. This depends on the turn radius. But as a rule of thumb, keep the wheel turned until your car is parallel to the lane on the turned road, once it is parallel, then straighten the wheel. This will help with avoiding wide or narrow turns. Again, do this consciously in the parking lot and then will come naturally without thinking.

    Hope this helps.

    All the best
     
    nikkiz, Jul 18, 2012
    nikkiz, Jul 18, 2012
    #10
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