Your journal is a way of returning to experiences in reflection. In reading through your journal at a later time, you can find new meaning in your descriptions, connecting images and memories into more coherent, illuminating structures. ~ Margot Lasher My dear friends, I wanted to write my diary and post it even two days back.Iam like a child with a new toy.This form of expression of my thoughts ,my feelings and my experiences is new to me.But my back pain came back to me and made it almost impossible for me to sit before the PC. This morning I looked out of my window at the little garden ,that is being nourished by my DH.As usual the sight of the flowering plants filled my heart with delight.Suddenly I saw something else.I saw bunches of yellow flowers in my neighbour’s tree.I like to call that tree “arali”in Tamil but it is not arali.Till yesterday evening I had not seen them,today these bunches of lovely yellow flowers nodded their heads and smiled at me.I was so happy.Right now I am sitting by my window,watching those divine flowers and typing,the experience has to be experienced to know what it is. I always had a great love for trees.The sea and the trees made me feel good.When I sat at sea shore,watching the seawater gave me a peace of mind that was unique.I flt that all was good with my world and that nothing would ever go wrong.Whenever I listened to M.S.Amma’s song.’katrinile varum geetham…’ immtalised by M..S.Amma’s divine voice,I always picturised <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1lace w:st="on">Krishna</st1lace> stnding on the sea shore with the flute in his hand.The serenity of that scenemade me vey emotional.Trees gave me a sense of security. My husband raised and tended to beautiful gardens wherever we lived,in rented houses.Nice flowering plants and vegetables.But I loved the garden we had in Goa when we lived there.We had huge trees in our compound.There were jackfruit trees,neem trees,mango trees,snd some other huge trees.Huge trees with big branches ,the branches that would move ,when there was a heavy wind,appeared as if they were telling you that they wee there to take care of you.I liked to stand under those trees and enjoy being there,but those occasions were few,you may remember my telling you that there were snakes around in the compound.So with snakes playing hide and seek and enjoying themselves,I never ventured to even come out of the house very often. From Goa we went to Delhi and we lived in a flat.Whenever the thought of having a house of our own came to me ,I dreamed .My dream ran like this I lived in a sprawling bungalow that had a huge garden.The garden had big tees.I particularly dreamed of having a neem tree that was mammoth.Under the tree ,I got a cement platform raised and on this platform which went round the tree,I got a Vinayaga murthy installed.This vinayaga was so beautiful,looking as he was smiling all the time,but ofcourse Vinayaga is a benign God. In this dream of mine,my grandchildren were to be seen .My dear friends,my elder daughter was a newly married bride at that time and my younger daughter was in her final year graduation and here I was dreaming about grandchildren. Ok,let me take you back to my dream.Only my grandchildren were allowed to do pooja to the Vinayaga.I taught them how to bathe the Vinayaga,how to tie his veshti,how to apply the holy ash and sandalwood paste on his fore head ,how to make a garland for him from the flowers ,they would pluck from the flowering plants in our garden.I would make some nice dish for ‘Naivethiyam’ ie prasadam and the children would sing songs,do bhajan,offer Prasad to Vinayaga and distribute it others.I dreamed this every day.One day I told my husband about dreaming this way .He laughed.He said,”Mythili,we may buy a flat in Chennai and where would you go for big trees?If you are lucky,the flat we buy may be in a complex that will have a few trees,Iam not sure of that also,my dear”. But I continued to dream,to dream is fun and you don’t have to spend for that,you know! Finally my DH retired and we came to Chennai . We bought a flat ,a nice three bedroomed flat and shifted in.As my luck would have it,this complex had plenty of open space.And there were trees,lovely .big trees in the compound.There is a play area for the children.The play area has so many trees ,even in the hot afternoons,you don’t feel the heat there,it is lovely. and Vinayaga opted to have his small temple also there.Kutty Vinayaga,with a smiling face . I used to sit before the vinayaga and talk to him.He became my buddy,I could tell him,confide in him,ask him for anything,His demeanour never changed,he always had that captivating smile on his face.When the arrival of our grandchildren was delayed,I used to go to him sit before him and talk to him.,”Pillaiyarappa,if you don’t bless us with a grandchild soon,I will forcibly take you home.You will be our grandchild.I will keep you on my waist and walk around.So if you don’t want that to happen,you better give us a grandchild fast.”Vinayaga did not want me to have the trouble of carrying him on my waist,Vaidehi presented us with Sneha and Sangheetha became the proud mother of quadruplets.My grandchildren did visit the Vinayaga temple on one of their visits to Chennai. But what happened to my dream ,where Vinayaga sat under the big neem tree on a cement platform and my grandchildren did pooja to him?.Well,we bought a plot of land in a village on the ECR Road.When we had enough money ,we constructed a one bedroom house on that plot,leving plenty of open space for a garden.I told the engineer who was in charge of building our house,”I would like to plant some trees in my compound.”He said ,”Yes,but not big trees madam,they are not good for the foundation.You can have other small varieties of trees.He saw to it that we had guava tree,gooseberry tree and pavazha malli tree.now what is pavazhamallie tee?This tree is supposed to have come to earth fom heaven.The flowers are tiny,white petals and deep red stems…..The flowers have a divine fragrance .We did raise a pillaiyar temple at the back of the house and our pillaiyar is right below he pavazhamallie tree.When flowers appear on the tree,mostly in November and December the flowers fall on his temple cover the roof of the tiny temple.The people from whom we bought the land,planted saplings for gulmohar and some other tree right on both sides of our house.They started growing.We lived in that house for a couple of years enjoying ,living in the village.Oneday I saw a small neem tree sprouting,I showed my husband that.We decided not to take away the tiny one.The neem tree started growing, not allowing any other plant to thrive under its shade.It grew so fast. I liked to sit under the tree on a chair,I liked to collect the neem flowers dry them, and store them.I have some even now.Fry them in ghee,mix it with rice and eat,tastes delicious.I enjoyed sitting in the portico watching the gulmohar tree covered with flame coloured flowers and ofcourse my favourite neem tree. I want to share my dream with my daughters.One day my grandchildren will go and stay in that house,even if it is for a holiday.They will see to it that their Vinayaga gets his rightful place on a cement platform under the neem tree.They would do pooja for him.Pillaiyarappa ,please see that my dream comes true.He would make my dream come true,Iam sure of it,for pillaiyarappa is a kind,benign God who loves children and is loved by the children. Now I have come to live in my present house.God has been kind to me .He has given me lovely trees to look at and enjoy.Feeling their presence itself gives me great joy.