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My DH think about his Family only

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by nida123, Jan 30, 2010.

  1. nida123

    nida123 New IL'ite

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    Hi All,
    i m new on this site. i got married 8months ago.
    i knew my husband from last one year before marriage. He used to care about me a lot before marriage. But after marriage everything has changed.
    Now, My problem is regarding money.
    Me and my husband work in IT companies. we both earn good money.A large amount from my husband's salary goes to loan payment of house.
    After paying loan, still a significant amount is there. But it all goes to my ILs in some or other form (eg. When my IL's car needs service, then they will give their car to us, so that we service it, paying bill of more than 10,000). I have no problem with that since my husband is their son.
    i give lot of money to my husband bcz he need it as his salary goes to ILs.
    The problem is-When ever i want to buy something, DH keep on telling me .. dnt buy anything... save money.
    He wants to save money because he will give to his parents ultimately. My ILs pretend that they dnt even have single penny.
    I feel so depressed. I earn money after so much of hard work in office and then i dnt have right to spend it for few things( like clothes etc.)
    My job is to earn and save money so that my husband can give it to his parents.
    i dnt like his attitude that keep saving money... why cant he tell to his parents and sister to save money. My SIL and MIL buy some or the other thing always...
    Ladies, what should i do? how can i tell my husband that i can spend some of my hard earn money. i have nt spend any money on my parents. Even i feel like spending money on my parents. They spend so much on my education.
    i m feeling so helpless. How to change my husband's attitude.
     
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  2. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

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    nida123,
    are your in laws working?or do they have some money sources like pension etc?
    if they do i totally understand your problem
    else i guess depending on son for few things in life should be fine.
    and coming to your dh i know he is taking money from you
    but tell me is he paying house loan for the home you guys are staying ..if thats the case i guess you should be contributing to that
     
  3. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Nida, either dont share your entire salary to your DH.
    Or simply tell him that X amnt of your salary is meant for your usage & the way you dont enquire him abu where he spends, he shud also give some space to you on what you do with that money.
     
  4. rosegirl

    rosegirl Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi
    Why dont you and your DH agree upon a sum of amount convenient for you both and give them every month. So that they dont ask you guys every time they have an expense.Instead they can take care of their expenses by themselves.

    You need to talk to your husband about this setup. Or invest in some property and channelize extra cash in that.

    goodluck
     

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