My decision to adopt a baby

I wanted to share a small experience with you. My cousin brother (mom's elder sisters son) was adopted when he was weeks old through a government recognized agency 19 years ago (From Bhuvaneshwar, Orissa). As you can guess, everyone in the family were extremely happy with the decision, especially after seeing my aunt and uncle undergo mental/physical trauma for 10 years.

Now, he is 19 years old. He hasn't yet been told about his adoption. But everything he does/says is exactly how we expect from other cousins. Had been a great brother, wonderful son and a giving person as a whole.
But sometimes though (2 weeks ago to be specific), you will see that he is behaving odd. Like, his grand dad (aunts FIL) passed away and he just doesn't want to go pay respects to his grand ma. He says, i just dont feel like it. he went after a long persuasion.
We have written this off as a teenage behavior and hopefully it is.

Other than that, he is an absolutely delightful to be with. My aunt and uncle are extremely happy about their decision which they had taken 2 decades ago.

 

Hi! I am new to IL but I have been looking out for this kind of topic not only to get advice from other experienced members but also to give suggestions. Me and my husband adopted a baby girl around 4 months old around 4 years back. I had a gynae problem and have been lucky enough to get 100% support from my husband.
Bringing the baby into our lives changed our lives forever. Our married life improved. So did our social life. I cannot even express how happy we are. We worried about only one thing - whether she would be accepted into our respective families. We got a mixed response with more than 75% people giving wholehearted support. Whenever I would tell my daughter not to disturb her father after coming back from a tiring day of work, he would say 'Let her come, she gives me energy to go on". I have told my little daughter that she is adopted and that we picked her up from many babies and that God made us for each other. I told her stories about Sita and Krishna and told her that even these "Namah Namah" (as she calls all Gods) were adopted. I don't know whether what I have done is correct or not. I hope she will be able to appreciate this even after she grows up.
Do go on and adopt a baby. You will not only be doing something good for yourself. You will also be giving a new lease of life to a child.

 

Gayathri,


Kudos...Salute...Not many have the heart to do it...You did it..:bowdown:bowdown


Cheers,
Brahan

 

Nice thread!
Gayathri, congrats for your second daughter!!
Hats off to parents who can make strong decision and action!

 

Best wishes to all

 

Hi dear friends
I am in the process of adoption. We registered ourselves 4 months back. Can anyone of u tell me when will the home study happen? The agency told me 1yr waiting period. Kindly tell me ,what the home study is about...is there any possibility that they will reject us or something?

 

Hi Mahi,

I am not sure when the home study will happen...I think it is usually within 6 months of registering, but am not too sure. The home study will be conducted by a social worker who will visit you and your family in your home environment. You will be asked questions regarding your marriage, physical health, financial status, socio-economic set up of your family, significant others in your family, preferences concerning the child you want to adopt, and so on. The purpose of this study is to assess how prepared you and your family are to adopt a baby, whether you are doing it for the right reasons, and if you will be able to provide a safe, secure, and loving home for the baby. After the visit is over, the social worker will prepare the home study report and submit it to the concerned authorities and the agency will try to match your preferences with a child.

Technically, there is a possibility of not being recommended for adoption by the social worker. But this happens rarely in cases where it is obvious to the social worker that there are financial or marital problems in the family or if the couple if not adopting for the right reasons. My suggestion is to be yourself...don't get stressed out and think of home study as an 'interrogation'! Don't go overboard in trying to impress the social worker...they are usually quick to sense insincerity or any artificial behavior! Just be honest and open in your interaction...have a clean and welcome home environment...try to have both sets of grandparents and other significant members of the family present during the visit to show the social worker that everyone approves the adoption and is ready to welcome the child wholeheartedly. All the best!

 

Hi Cj,
I am just going through with your below post..
Is it necessary to have family members around you ..when Social workers doing home study..

If only husband and wife is ready for adoption ...this is not sufficient?

 

Hi Laxmi,

It is not 'mandatory' to have kith and kin present during the home study. If yours is a nuclear family then it's perfectly alright to just be the two of you. I have accompanied a social worker a couple of times during this home study (way back in college when I was doing my internship with an adoption agency) and she did tell me that seeing family members (usually the adoptive couple's parents) around creates a positive impression on the social worker because it means there are elders and significant others in the family who will help raise the baby in a loving and peaceful environment. I don't think adoption agencies abroad look for such aspects, but in India (where some of us still think it takes a village to raise a baby!) it might help in adding some brownie points on the home study report! Hope that helps

 

Thanks cj for this information...