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My dear Dad where ae you

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by kanaka Raghavan, Sep 12, 2007.

  1. kanaka Raghavan

    kanaka Raghavan IL Hall of Fame

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    Ihope all the Il ladies would not mind me penning a few words about my father.I would be grateful to have your patient reading and feedback on this.
    My father passed away this year in February at the age of 80.People might say what is there to mourn about ,he is lived a full life.But a father is a father...
    My father was from an ordinary family ,he strived hard and keep it to very good postion.He married my mother as my grandfather said.She is a very very innocent lady always harrassed by her own brothers and father.She was from very rich family.My father bore all the humiltions imposed by his brothers in law.In fact later on in family when they became paupers,helped them all.He helped all his 6 brothers as well.He always used to tell us we cannot justify ourselves if we behave like them.He fulfilled the duty of son till the end.He even performed his mother's ceremony 20 days before he died.He took care of my mother when she was in coma for 45 days and brought her back to life.None of her relatives turned up.
    Being the youngest I was very close to him.As my mother hardly knew anything,he taught us what a mother should teach the daughters.Anything we want he was there was for us.Whenever he used to return from his trips ,his box used to be full of nice dresses for each one of us.He never missed any ocassion.Even his friends and relatives got it to be remembered.He was one who used to stories from Ramayana and Mahabarata to us everyday evening.
    Every week there was a call to all the people he knew.Any occasion or function ,he would go if he is able to,inspite of us grumbling.Any one had a grandchild immediately he would send a wooden table ware bearing"Happiness is being a grandparent'.He found time to send kumkum prasadam for kumadam prathinai club for many years .
    He never watched any programme which my mother disliked.As she does not follow English well he used to watch whatever she did.He even used make his own coffee maker lest he should awake her at 3 a..m.
    He was very delighted with his granchildren.My daughter used to spend 3 hrs every Sunday to have literary discussions with him.He used wait for us to come.I vividly remember that he used to give us money to spend on books every time we came to chennai from Coimbatore.He loved crossword .
    He was faithfully to the Group he was with and worked till the day before he died.
    He wanted all of us study and he said that age is no bar for studying.He completed his MBA few days before my sister got married.
    He used to contribute regularly for charities some of which we came to know only after his death.
    when his younger brothers died,he kept asking why do we come in order and go in another.
    He was very very thrilled when I joined IL.In fact he learnt to operate the comp so that he can be in touch with his nephews ,nieces and friends who were abroad.
    I could not attend his funeral as I was in Abu dhabi and my husband was not allowed to travel.His wish was to cremate with in 3 hours after his death.He died on Thai poosam .No sickness,no hospitilisation,Just instant death.
    He was very very postive man and there was never negative word from his mouth.
    I long to hear his voice,touch him.but where are u father?........As he used to say shadow of death passes away like cloud..........but not for us...........Oh Father I really miss you.................He never liked us to cry but what can I do?
    Thank you IL for allowing to pen my thoughts...........................
     
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  2. kanaka Raghavan

    kanaka Raghavan IL Hall of Fame

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    I apologize. .There are couple of dramatical mistakes in my post.I felt like penning my thoughts as felt IL was the perfect platform.
     
  3. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi kanaka,

    That was a great tribute to your dad..you are welcome to post here..
     
  4. Aabhi

    Aabhi Gold IL'ite

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    OMG kanaka............. you made me cry.

    First of all a great salute to your father. I can understand how bad you are missing him (sorry about it) but Iam sure you feel very proud to be his daughter. Great people like your dad set as a noble example for all of us. After reading your post and learnt about your dad, I feel like touching his legs and get his blessings.

    We need to learn vary many things like- how to lead life happily with what we have, take things positively, never complain, fulfill our duties, helping other........... I respectfully wish complete peace & happiness for his soul.

    Anytime, please do not hesitate to open up your feelings over here. We are all your sister's. Infact, thanks for sharing your dad's great experiences here.
     
  5. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Kanaka, my eyes went moist on reading your post. All of us here could understand how proud you are to be his daughter. He would want to you see that you follow whatever he was doing. All Charities and wishing etc etc. Following him to the core is the tribute that you can do him.
     
  6. Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Great Father....

    For such a great person......Dont think of sickness /hospitalisation...

    He has cherished his life... taken care of all his responsibilities/duties...

    You may be missing him....For his sake stop crying and be proud of him...

    Veda
     
  7. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Kanaka,
    you really made me cry. I remember the time he died and you were frantic- your hubby was not well and you could not leave him and go. It is a very difficult to overcome that you could not see him for one last time. But we are all mere pawns in the hands of destiny. Whatever should happen will happen.
    Please do not feel sorry for letting out your thoughts, after all what are friends for? By sharing with us, you can make your heart a little light.
    You can feel at peace that he died a peaceful death and was cremated as per his wish. If that had happened otherwise, you would feel for the rest of your life. This way, you know you fulfilled his wish.
    Do not worry, he will be there with you spiritually every time you need him. Just talk to him, as you used to talk while he was alive, when you wish he was there.
    He will not feel happy to see his darling daughter shedding tears, would he?
     
  8. kanaka Raghavan

    kanaka Raghavan IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you friends for all those touching letters.I am really overwhelmed to have such understanding friends.I thank you all IL friends for your response.I feel much lighter now.This site is indeed a wonderful platform to vent out one's feelings.THANK YOU ALL........................
     
  9. indianflower

    indianflower New IL'ite

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    I am completely touched by events in your life and actually brought back some memories for me. I lost both my parents 5 days apart 8 months ago. My parents were the best of the best. I thank god for having given me an opportunity to experience love. There is not one single day i don't think about my parents and all the sacrifices they have done for me. Like you have mentioned my parents did a lot of charity during their life time to orphanages, oldage homes and education of young girls and we too found all this only after their demise. My father passed away first due to cardiac arrest and my my mother could not think about life without my father and passed away 5 days later due to the cadiac arrest. This is still a shock to me and sometimes i am in denial. I do try to do my best for my kids and do charity whenever possible. Salutations to all parents out there. We kids always appreciate all you have done for us. We may not show sometimes but it is always there in our hearts.
     
  10. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi kanaka sorry to use your thread...

    indianflower
    I could not resist...oh ....i was moved ...by the love between your parents....and great parents...
    my condolences on therr demise..and pray to god for their souls..they will be looking at you from wherever they are and definitely be proud of you....
     

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