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My Daughter Is Really Rude To Me

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by sanjuruby3, Oct 21, 2020.

  1. nuss

    nuss Finest Post Winner

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    I wish I could edit... I meant to say kids have to stay near me. I usually work from dining room while they play in the living room.
     
  2. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    Actually my son has the same issue. It drives my H nuts, and trust me , he is quite a reasonable man. he only asks him to not to watch youtube or games between school hours. 9-3 . and i also even took his ipad away. but school being remote, he found some youtube for kids and watches videos. few weeks back it really became too much yelling at home.

    only ways i could prevent him under some control, is like complete detox , no electronics after school for few days. even while eating. not even play for 1 day. it was too much pressure at home, he was crying . but i had to make him understand calmly, that he needs to follow some rules during his education time.

    i am also confused , this covid has created more issues in family than bonding. before atleast he was away from us 6 hours. ignorance was bliss.
     
  3. nuss

    nuss Finest Post Winner

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    @sanjuruby3- Two kids, full-time work from home, and a husband who doesn't cooperate- you have a lot on your plate. Please give yourself a break. Don't worry about ess. Slowly start organizing and let your daughter know where to put papers, etc. If at all possible, try to put her desk next to yours so you can help her while doing your work. If you have an extra room/loft, move her toys there and carve a"study area" free of distraction.

    The work from home has been hard for most families. Some days my kids don't want to work at all and I let them play. You have to pick your battles. For me, I give them choices. You attend your classes, do your homework and then we will go to the park or for a bike ride/walk or we will go for a walk now but once we are back, you will have to finish your homework before supper. Or you can watch a movie if all your work is finished. We don't have 8-2 school schedule at home. We mostly work according to my meetings schedule.
     
    sarvantaryamini and shravs3 like this.
  4. soumya2552

    soumya2552 Bronze IL'ite

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    Adding my concern to the same thread as I my situation is similar to the issue discussed above.
    I have gone through the posts and suggestions and found it very helpful.
    My concern:
    Lately my son who is 9.5 years old is not liking my authority. We hv set timings for everything in the house. Off late, he is fed up of the schedule ans whenever reminded to wrap up his work he says " I don't want to live anymore" or "kill me"
    All these violent tantrums are because he cannot discontinue from any activity he does and does not like to be disturbed irrespective of the time.
    Please help...what do I do?
     
  5. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    Does she not respect you? Did you try telling her the consequences of her actions? Do you allocate any play time or zoom sessions for her with classmates? Telling the teacher about issues will only come back to you. Are you not allowed to raise your voice or make yourself clear? These kind of issues usually happen when one parent overrides another in front of the kid. Maybe you should take break for a week and sit with her for the classes. Tell her she is harming herself by doing these kind of activities. Spend some time with her once your office work gets done. I know it is double work for you, but may be this should help.
     
  6. Sandhya13

    Sandhya13 Gold IL'ite

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    @sanjuruby3 with work, COVID, and online school I think most people with little kids have similar problems.. I have noticed that my son copies a lot from us.. once out of frustration I asked him how he could be such a trouble maker.. Pat called the reply “exactly how mommy could be a a big trouble maker for him”.. from then on I tried to control how I talk to him.. even then sometimes I just say things that I didn’t want to say to him.. this may be n happening with your daughter too.. she might just be copying her dad/you.. what works for me is when we all are calm I give him a lot of positive attention and tell him to be respectful.. he understands and apologizes and tries to mend ways.. positive reinforcement works so much better with him.. hang in there and try to give her a lot of attention.. tell her you love her very much and make sure she reciprocates at least through words..
     
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  7. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Gold IL'ite

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    my 6 yr ol
    My 6 yr old uses same terms for little one. I will kill him if he does this or that.
    One or twice i let it go. Then i had to be serious about it.

    So my daughter does not listen to me when my H is around. Once he is out of way to office , outside home, i have better control on her and she helps me with son or chores and i also let her watch or play.
    If H is home ( most of time), she listens to him, not me at all and he does not bother much with TV or discplining her and like many parents, we do the mistake of getting heated up in front of her.
    All this happens because of kids, their care, food or activitys what i want to be done in timely manner, while he wants to watch TV or drink and not feed them.
    Other thing i noticed, my H shows his attitude mostly in front of other people and mostly 1-2 people, and i hate that. All this affects kids.
     
  8. Brevity

    Brevity Gold IL'ite

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    Find some time in your day/week to play a game with her or take her for a walk. When you are both in good mood, explain to her nicely why you insist on less screen time etc. Usually kids accept suggestions better when they know the reason behind it.

    Tell her that keeping her stuff neat is important to show that she respects the thought and money that went into buying those things for her. Help her clean the room bit by bit. May be she feels overwhelmed.

    Locked doors with young children is an absolute no. Tell her it could be dangerous.

    Apply parental locks and controls on her pc and tabs. Be sympathetic to her. But tell her that you being firm is only because you care for her and love her. Explain reasons behind all rules. Give her positive attention daily. Hopefully this is a phase.
     

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