My Brother and I...

My brother is younger to me by one and a half years. Therefore he is always present in my earliest memories of life. I used to be the protective sister always and he needed me constantly, so much so that during his first year in school I was in kindergarten and made to sit in the first bench in my class, luckily nursery being the opposite class and so with a special request from my mother he would be in the first bench of his class and could see me always. In school whenever there was a birthday and the birthday child distributed sweets it was an oral pledge between us that we would share it with each other. I always stuck to my part of the promise but he could never do that. His intentions were very good; he would keep it for me but could not help eating it himself. When one of us was sick my mother's rule was that the other would not go out to play but keep the sick one company. No doubt it must have been a great relief to her. So many times he would just run out without my mom knowing and I would start cribbing. But there were days when we enjoyed each others company by playing a lot of silly games… making paper boats and letting them float on a rainy day, Or Bus conductor (he would love to be the conductor and go tring tring) and teacher student(of course I would be the teacher and he my ever willing student). Wonder why we were fascinated by these professions.

I used to enjoy having him in the same school, and loved to tell him secrets (nothing great but whenever I got full marks in maths and couldn’t wait until I got home) during the break. He used to dislike school and at the slightest pretext try to stay at home; one day my aunt actually went all the way to school because he had forgotten to take his eraser and would try to use that as an excuse for the next day. While I was the good one and always it was 'why cant u be more like your sister?' Poor fellow, he heard it always…I can't help it …I am a much organised good girl (read dull in other words) but he was extremely naughty, Here I must mention the incident in my memory. One day he came back from school with a lot of marks on his hands and when mom asked him he said Ashwin had given him that. My poor mom went to school the next day to request the teacher to please keep an eye on the students but she happened to meet Ashwin and was stunned to see that he had marks on his hands as well as his face. Quietly she came back not bothering to see the teacher but after giving both boys some sound advice. He always got my old books as he was just one year junior, thankfully I was not born a girl otherwise I would be stuck with your clothes too, was his usual comment.

Then came the fighting phase, until I was about fifteen. It would be very physical, he would give me real blows with his fist and I would pinch him hard, meaning I would leave scars on his hands and face while I had no visible proof for the beatings I received from him. Even now, I attribute my poor back to his blows. Not that it deterred me in the least. I had some silent mean treatments of my own like hiding his books or shoes and uniform, enjoying his futile search and the scolding he got from mom for never keeping his things in the proper place. Another funny thing I remember is we would not TALK to each other after a fight and if we happened to sing a song that the other is humming, immediately we would jump at each other …..How dare u sing my song….. As if one of us had composed the lyrics and music for it. But during our friendly days we would be Zoheb and Nadia Hassan crooning away to glory. Our Disco Deewane in the audio cassette is a testimony to this. Those days sadly there was no Karaoke…

Only after that came the companionship phase. I got into commerce and started pursuing my CA. We would talk to each other about all our friends .He still needed me to tick off one particular boy who was bossing him around. I was quite a tomboy and put an end to that. Here I must mention a change in my character. .Though he was naughty, he was always very adjusting, very cheerful, affectionate with everybody and a happy go lucky guy. I was quite spoilt, needed a lot of attention from my parents, cribbed a lot to my mom about her having a special soft corner for her son. I was daddys pet… but he took it in his cheerful way…it never bothered him.. Once my appa was calling out ….where is my kutti….and my aunt told him hey appa is looking for u but he laughingly said, no that’s not for me …wait and see, kutti will now come …meaning me. My mom also called him the communist in the family as he would always support the maid whenever mom complained that she was not doing a good job…amma if she cleans every house the way u want her to; imagine the plight of her back at the end of the month…was his argument.

While I had to work hard to get thru my CA. he took life comparatively easy but still managed to get into engineering at IIT.I still remember the way I cried when we came home after dropping him at hostel. Anyway he used to come home every weekend, Friday evening and leave only on Monday morning. Here, he developed a great interest in music so I learnt to enjoy music of all genres only because of him. He used to take me for their programmes…Mood Indigo, ghazhal evenings and also once for a special screening of Umrao jaan, because Rekha was my favourite heroine those days.

He was still studying when I got engaged to my dh and on the day of my marriage he and my best friend were the only people who cried. Dh to this day says, all the others were very happy to get rid of you. Then of course over the years he got a good job and moved away from <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1lace w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">India</st1:country-region></st1lace>. He got married and has a daughter. I was near my parents but then we too shifted here. Now there are only calls and exchange of pictures. He visited me once and I too had been to visit him last year. I fractured my leg at his place and had to extend my stay while my family came back .This time he took care of me. My eyes fill as I recall the way he and his wife were so good to me. We used to sit up late at night and talk continuously, (over the years my dh and dd are my priority but certain things I can share and laugh only with him) and watched all our old favourite movies..,…Every night after I go to bed he would wait till I had tucked myself in, switch on the air-con, shut the door and tell me, get up as late as u want. I was really touched. Am I not blessed to have a brother like him?

I can confidently speak for both of us when I say there is absolutely no sibling jealousy between us, we are genuinely happy for each other always, and feel very lucky to have each other. I pray that he is always his smiling jocular self. With Raksha bandhan round the corner I couldn’t help thinking of him. I was talking about him to a friend when she just generalised all brothers, saying 'Brothers can never be as affectionate as sisters'. Well, I couldn’t disagree more with her.