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My Apologies - True Story

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Rrg, Oct 7, 2018.

  1. Rrg

    Rrg Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks Indeveera for your feed back and the childhood incident involving your friend. Mine was one such. It is that guilt deep down that I wanted to release and stirred a hornet’s nest in the process.:laughing:
    Incidentally, even in our times, girls were not less naughtier.:blush:
    Thanks for sharing,
    Cheers,
     
    Indeevara likes this.
  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Your question was to HazelPup, but I'd like to to take a stab at it.

    "What are the other options the teacher had to correct a 7-8 year old?"
    I don't know about the late 1950's. But now and where I live, pinching the bottom of a classmate (any gender), would be considered sexual harassment. Student would be sent to principal's office at a minimum. Parent would be required to attend a meeting with school staff. Teachers and school staff are required by law to report any complaints they receive or inappropriate behavior they witness. Even if the complaint is received outside school premises or by any other means such as email or written letter, or from another child who speaks up. Teachers undergo training and refresher training to remind them of their obligation and how they are the ones with the most opportunity to help victims of sexual harassment.

    Teachers and thinking adults no longer dish out the "treat every girl as your sister" message. Young people are encouraged to treat each other with respect while being allowed to have decidedly un-sibling-ly feelings for a boy or girl.

    The apology to womankind is nice but a direct one penned here but addressed to 'Kamakshi' would have been more appropriate and forceful. An apology where the offence is described without ascribing blame or responsibility to others, without listing irrelevant fine qualities of the offender, remorse expressed, as well as any concrete steps listed that were taken to atone.

    Thank you for the snippet. Makes for an interesting discussion and a painful visit down memory lanes for many women.
     
    sindmani, HazelPup and GeetaKashyap like this.
  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Deleted considering the age of the OP at the time of the incident.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2018
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  4. Rrg

    Rrg Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Viswamitra,
    Thanks for your original post as well as subsequent understanding that it was an 8 year old’s actions that we are discussing. I find many of the responses here also seem to think of an adult man harassing a girl. But natural with so many “Me Too”s being reported of late.
    Even today, I am not sure as to how many 8 year olds will understand that pinching their classmates of opposite sex would amount to ‘cowardly act of sexual harassment’.

    As mentioned by you, even my wife felt that I should have moved on as it serves no purpose thinking about it now. Perhaps you both are right. But deep within you tend to carry some scars & guilts, secured over the years, that keep surfacing once in a while, especially when you feel that you are perhaps at your fag end. This post was one such.
    Thanks for visiting my post.
    Anbudan,
     
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    No. Many of the responses here do not seem to think of it as an adult man harassing a girl. The responses were quite clear and they were more appalled at the teacher's response and the "but what else could the teacher do?" observation. It has nothing to do with the MeToo's being reported off late. Please give us some credit for being able to react to an apology and a narration of an incident in its own light.
    It is not so complicated now. Children as young as 3-5 years old are taught what is good touch and what is bad touch. They are taught who can look at and touch their genitalia and butt. They are also taught how to respect those areas of the bodies on others. Girls and boys are close friends in high school, they give hi-fives to each other, hug each other when they feel like it or need to, school wrestling teams are co-ed. Thankfully, it is not so complicated now. As a volunteer in a kindergarten classroom, even a decade ago, I was told not to touch the private areas of the children as I helped the little fingers button up their skirts or pants.
     
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  6. Rrg

    Rrg Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks Rihana.
    On carefully going through all FBs received, I do agree that the general reaction was on the teacher’s behaviour only. Even here,it was my request to remember the teacher was hardly 21 or so and brought up in a different social set-up where, as I had mentioned earlier, males were treated as privileged ones. Be that as it may, what I had recorded was a fact and any amount of our discussion is not going to change how an individual behaved 6 decades back. That the world has come a long way, where even to think of such a behaviour is not pleasant, is a welcome change.
    As regards today’s kids, I am not so closely in touch with them as you are. I take it that they are taught at a very young age itself asto how to protect themselves / respect other kids’ feelings in this regard. If so, perhaps we could soon see a situation where sexual harassment is restricted to stories only, when this generation grow up. Hope that becomes a reality.
    Thanks for your interest in my post and feedbacks.
    Cheers
     

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