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My Anger - My Enemy ?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by wonderer, Mar 1, 2010.

  1. wonderer

    wonderer New IL'ite

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    Thanks to both of you Naksh and Tridev. Really appreciate it. will keep cool and see how it goes this week.
     
  2. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    You have exactly said what I have been feeling, If I ask my wife somethiing and expect a reply that will counsel, I get a yes reply, for e.g I dont think we can live together , or I think there is nothing left, the answer is either silence or something which will not bring emotional closure at all.

    I feel ego becomes a major problem, if you said to your wife let us stay seperate and she said ok send me, to her it may be a issue if she keeps requesting you too. But I would go middle way, dont request, dont bend down, but please please be assertive, try to say things in assertive way and not tag negativity around... If this happens half of problems can vanish in thin air between couples

     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2010
  3. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    Good idea, you just try to be nice, do things in a way that will show your attachment but also maintain distance by not starting the talk. That will give him hope you are improving or still loving. No need to speak you love him, just by actions be nice for some time and if he decides his way, let him decide, if he approaches see what he wants and see if you can become that or do what he feels is justified. Like I said be assertive and nice, no need to bend down too much as it wont help to anyone.

     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2010
  4. Naksh

    Naksh Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks Tridev. Point is, I cannot be assertive with her. She is so naive, tiny, poor , i just cant be so to her. She is an excellent wife. There is no abuse really. All i want is she does not cry and wallow in misery. And in those periods what she talks hurts a lot and thats causing the toruble. I know she loves me to death. I have discussed more, in a thread of mine titled 'what is happening to me', please go thorugh it when time permits and see if you could offer any advice. Hope your situation gets better too.

    Wonderer, sorry for having diverted the attention.

    Good luck.

    Aksh.
     
  5. wonderer

    wonderer New IL'ite

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    Tridev,

    What to do, he has been here for three days now, and no intimacy, no talking, he is not even eating food i prepare. He laughs when talking to other people but when talking to me, just short answers and silence all day. he drops me at work and then we speak a few sentences and he sleeps off on couch. I am very distressed and dont know what to do. he will leave for his base in 2 days and that will be it? When we talked on the phone before he arrived, he said we will talk in person but since coming here, no talk. when he goes back, we will be more isolated. is this life?
     
  6. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    Dont know what to suggest. Only thing I see you can do is just go with the flow for now.

     
  7. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks, will go through your thread

     
  8. Naksh

    Naksh Platinum IL'ite

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    Wonderer. Now you are on the receiving end of 'silence'. Dirtiest place to be in. I am sorry. He's not doign good. He should know better than this. Hope it gets better.

    Thanks Tridev. To save your time, when going through my post, please starting it from 5th page would be the best as that is from where real problem is explained. I am again sorry for taking some space for myself on your thread Wonderer.

    Hope all members come out with their thoughts onyour problem Wonderer.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2010
  9. wonderer

    wonderer New IL'ite

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    Dear Ils, pleae come and suggest soething to my problem. thank you
     
  10. Naksh

    Naksh Platinum IL'ite

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    I hope things are better now. Posting here, just so your post comes up to the front (for visibility sake).
     

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