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Musings from a SINK world

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Nivedi, Dec 3, 2008.

  1. Nivedi

    Nivedi New IL'ite

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    Dear friends,

    Mine is a SINK (Single Income No Kids) home and both me and my husband are comfortable with our SINK status. I look at my social status with a light-heart most of the times. But being part of the human race, I do have my moments to grumble and sulk. However, I am not writing this to get any sympathy or tips on how to have children. Dear ILs, I would want you to read this with a light-heart too.

    My day usually begins with a yahoo or google chat. I wait for my mother to finish her walk and come back to chat with me. While waiting for her, I almost always see one or other of my friends online. Last week-end, one of my friend's husband was online and sent me a chat message. Since years this man begins his chat message with "Any good news?". In the initial months of my marriage, I would reply to his message. But these days I just ignore and continue to chat on all other matters under the sun.

    Now, let me warn you of a nasty voice in my head which works like a sports commentator. I continue to chat with my friends husband, while that voice in my head grumbles -

    Can a good news not be related to any other matter in my life, other than having a baby?

    Is my identity stuck to being a childless woman? Can I not be asked about my interests or about how many pounds I have lost in the past few months?
    ******************************************************

    Then there is this maama who lives near my mother's home in India. He is retired and spends most of his time standing near the gate of his voice trying to enter into a conversation with any soul that passes by. One day I walk past his home praying fervently to all the gods in this universe that I do not fall in the periphery of this maama's vision. I try to look elsewhere when I am nearing his house. I pass his gate and look from the corner of my eye. There is no maama near the gate today. That voice in my head is about to break into a victory song when I hear a sound from behind a bush in maama's garden - "We have been waiting to hear some good news from you."

    That voice in my head says - "Oh really, my having a baby is going to bring such cheer to your home? I was not aware of it all along. I will let you know the moment the baby arrives so that you can share in the joys of washing the child's diapers or staying awake all night trying to put her to sleep."
    ******************************************************
    I generally spend time at the town's library. A few months back, I was walking around the aisle near the security's chair. The man looks at me and asks "Are you from India or Pakistan?" I am not too pleased with the later part of his question, because that puts me at a high security risk.

    I reply instantly - "I am from India."

    Then he tells me he is from Somalia and he had spent a year in Bombay and that he fell in love with an Indian woman who refused to marry him. He puts on a sorry face and that voice within my head immediately begins to play a sad Illayaraja background song.

    He then asks me what I do for a living and whether I am married.

    I tell him I stay at home and my husband works.

    The next question - "Then why do'nt you have a baby?"

    The voice in my head says "Excuse me. I just know you for the last 7 minutes. I think your question is very nosy."

    He does not let me answer. He has a volley of questions in store.

    "How long since you got married?"

    I tell him "Seven"

    "Then it is high time you had children. Does your husband not want any? Or do you not want any children? You do not know what you are missing in life?"

    The voice in my head is getting agitated at this stranger's remarks and says "Hey, so you think you know what I am missing. You seem worse that that Maami I met in Chennai's bus who offered to give me some concoction made from some wild leaves that will help me get a baby. Well, I am proud of that Indian woman who ditched your love for her. She was indeed sensible."

    My hands are now resting on my waist and my eye-brows are tied in a knot that only a Girl Guide or Boy Scout can figure out.

    When I reach home that day, I am still grouchy and that frown on my face would put all those emoticons to shame. My husband returns home from work and screams - "Hey, I am home."

    "I know, I can see. I am not blind." I answer curtly.

    "Hmmm...looks like you are in a bad mood. Did my sister call you today?"

    As I walk away to make some coffee, that voice in my head says -"Oh thank you for reminding me that my stars have shown some mercy on me. Atleast I was spared of your sister's call."
    *****************************************************
     
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  2. Sabitha_K

    Sabitha_K Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Nivedi,

    A lovely write-up on a day in SINK world..Light heart ?? It just turned me into a feather heart and I started laughing..

    Sometimes I wonder where do these snoopy people stop.First it is marriage ..oohhh so you are not married yet ..then it is kids..oohh you are married but with no kids and it does not stop there..only one kid when are you planning for another one..endless queries.

    I thouroughly enjoyed reading your post :thumbsup filled with humour.
     
  3. Manaswini08

    Manaswini08 Bronze IL'ite

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    First of all let me say that you write very well. I enjoyed your musings tremendously.
    Second, since I have 2 children I am not sure if I should sympathize your condition or not. But after reading your piece, I don't think you need any sympathy. You have your health, intelligence and from what I gather a very sweet husband. Having a baby does not make one a woman. But for what it is worth, all these inquiries are just ways of people telling you that they want to be a part of your life and to share in any joy you may come across. But, I agree, the guy in the library was just plain nosy.
     
  4. sundarusha

    sundarusha Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Nivedi

    A neat write-up, that made me laugh all the way. Nivedi, it never stops at that. Once your kids are grown, what are they doing, are they not married etc. It just a whole cycle all over.
    Keep writing, you have a refreshing style.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2008
  5. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Nivedi, dear Nivedi...

    :clap :thumbsup :rotfl

    That was a wonderful take on your irritations!
    I have read some of your fbs in the past, esp in the Cheeniya columns and have always thought that you have a fine sense of humor. This is more than a glaring proof of that.

    You go gal, with this sense of humor, you will be able to cross any number of mountains and bridges, with or without the tiny tots to tag along!

    BTW, seeing the title, I thought that this SINK world is something that I may be part of..you know..the neverending tribulations of NRI women at kitchen sinks! Well, you opened up my perspective and introduced me to your new world!!

    L, Kamla

    Oh yes..Congrats for making it to the FP nomination of this month. :)
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2008
  6. Oviya

    Oviya Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Nivedi,

    You asked us to read your post with light-heart, too. You didn't stop there.

    Your attempt was successful with your way of narration. Totally, on a very lighter note and from a different perspective, it described a sensitive matter.

    Very nice write-up.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2008
  7. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    well written, you obviously have your head on your shoulders....because it is not letting your voice get out and give sometimes what people desreve :) for making your business their business!

    I loved this.....:hiya

     
  8. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi nivedi buddy,

    ditto to kamla, came here for some of that humour of yours...you did not disappoint me..

    next time, i think we should go out and get a tattoo or a placard that say..

    this is my life, keep out, easier said right.. i thought it was only indians who were interested in knowing about good news..looks like everywhere people are the same...

    :cheers, for the positive sense of humour.

    I could say, here i have a person with whom, I can say me too for the grumblings inside, when i still have a smile on my face....

    immediately after my surgery, somebody commented, what paavam you have done that every two years you have a surgery or something".. outside i said Oh! maami, it is part of life, thanks for your concern,without your blessings....(Inside i was like, as if you know to measure the paavam and punyam accounts, and know what is the punishment for whatRant..)

    Hey by the way i never thought of inserting bgm's..maybe next time i can use jagjit singh gazals, or some number..:idea
     
  9. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Nivedi,
    A very humourous write-up on a 'nosy' matter. :thumbsup
    As Sabitha and others pointed out....the questions are endless...if one is there...they would ask for the other...
    The way you are taking this matter ...you get a :clap
    sriniketan
     
  10. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    very nice post nivedi and loved your sense of humour...yes people are like that...too nosy and cannot stand the fact that u can be HAPPY in life irrespective of what happens...u have to grumble and they have to be the one to offer sympathy...probably that makes them feel good...
    Mindi
     

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