Mrs. Movie (remake Of The Great Indian Kitchen)

hahaha… for sure. Here a long weekend, and it’s still snow here in February! I can cozy up with a book and hot chocolate, but no I am adamant I will contribute to this cause of nuanced film making..

 

its snow here too and i was wondering about this film

 

Its not a marriage counselling movie. Its reality, may look exaggerated to people, who never faced it. There are many women suffering like this in one way or another. May be the movie show so many point's at one time. She( heroine) is not heard or seen. Many people still go through arranged marriage, there won't be much opportunity to learn about the man or family before marriage. If they are settled or have good image, its hard to imagine whats going to happen . The image before marriage is different from the reality after marriage. Still sons after marriage, lives with parents, and issues begin Just look at the in- laws session in Indusladies

She made a mistake of accepting a marriage that she thought best for her . Many women think that their parents bring the best. But when she realised mistake, and see no future or improvements from anyside, she.walked away,

It is still a victory. If a man watch this movie and realise his mistake and dont expect his mother, sister or wife do seva full time for him, it will be a success as well. Still there are many families where the man dont wash their clothes or wash their plates.

Thappad movie too. If my husband do physical violence, even for one time, like in the movie, there wont be any discussion , he wont be my H, so I can undestand the heroine. Working or not, a women can walk away.

We suggest women to not have kids in toxic marriage or walk out, when the heroibe do it, we crticise it. Isnt double standard. Anyway, an adult can take a decision to stay or leave its her/ his choice.

What's the point in hanging to marriage where there is no respect or love or nothing left. In the above cases they dont have kids too. If we do sacrifice for people who dont deserve after sometime, they will ask what you were doing. So, unconditional love dont work always. Will every women walk out? No.. Only women with courage , not easy to do so with so much unknown. Its scary.

Movies are not for always teaching lessons.. What message we get when Animal, Arjun Reddy or similar, in which toxic men are heros, portrayed so normal to most of the society and movies are hits and more on the way. Its part of the society.

I dont think anybody go for divorce by watching a movie. They go for it if the have reached that point of no return. In that case if a movie inspire or give them strength its a positive thing. If marriage didnt wont let them make the divorce work.

If this movie can encourage a girl what not to do, by not giving control of her to others hands including parents or husband,then also its a success.

 

The criticise is not for the heroine walking out or for not having kids or putting up/ not putting up with physical abuse. It is to be encouraged for women to come out of toxic situations like these.

But the problem is about how irrelevant the subject is in today's day and time. In my family, in my extended family, in my friends circle, i have seen so many arranged marriages and one of my best friends is still looking for matches and when he talks about the how the girls families approach, it is very very different from what is shown in the movie.

For starters, every single girl so far has laid out clearly about finances, what she wants to do with her finances, her hobbies or anything she wants to pursue, her dreams, her financial commitments, checking his financial commitments. You name it they have discussed it. And the boys are equally clear in either agreeing or disagreeing. So its a win-win for both of them since both know what they are getting into. Even if it is arranged marriage, the girls families are very clear about the point that the girl is the decision maker in the context.

My husband's college gang has a 12 member circle, and out of them 8 members are divorced and most of them have remarried as well. His best friend divorced around 8 years ago. the divorce was not a dramatic one with physical abuse or anything. They was mental pressure of sorts which neither could take it so they parted ways and both of them are now remarried with kids of their own. My cousin brother got divorced 3 years ago. He remarried a divorcee and now they have a child together who is an year old. So the point is no one is hanging on to a marrige out of misplaced conception that marriage is for eternity. Ofcourse it is if it a compatible one. IF not, people do know that they have an option now to go out.

So people/ families have woken up to the concept of taking girl's consent before marriage, letting her know that she has full freedom after marriage to dissolve it if she is not ok.

So for some of us, it was irritating to watch an out of date concept being glorified here.

 

I understand your concerns and respect different point of view , but I don’t understand your thoughts on how irrelevant it is now. Read the newspaper every day, and you’ll find similar or even more horrifying stories. It’s still relevant to most people.

The way the lead characters in the movie meet and how their relationship progresses to marriage still feels very normal even today. I agree that the current generation should have a vision for their future. So, if the movie irritates you, that itself is proof of its success.

The girl should not blindly believe in others; her career interests and personal goals should be her top priority. However, since the groom’s family appeared good and educated, they took it for granted that she would be fine. She needed to learn to be assertive. But if she did, she would lose the “good daughter-in-law” certificate. Even with all conditions agreed upon, marriage changes the equation.

Just read the marriage section in IL here. I’m sure all those women had dreams and plans for their future. The movie clearly shows how women are emotionally abused in a sweet, subtle way—any attempt to protest or prioritize their own interests is silenced, leaving them in confusion and trauma. Do you really think this is irrelevant?

Interestingly, the movie doesn’t show any mother-in-law issues. Not many can afford servants to do everything. Still, a working woman does more than a man every day for her home. Household work remains glorified, unpaid, and unappreciated. If a woman stays with her in-laws, she is expected to cook fresh food three times a day and serve them.

Even in your circle, with all clear demands and vision, similar things have happened. The issues might be different, but even after setting conditions before marriage, problems arise later in how they are handled. Even today, despite education and financial independence, once in a joint family setup, the dynamics change—protests are silenced, many women give up, or they choose divorce. But I believe that if a couple lives separately, the husband is more likely to help, giving the marriage a chance.

Still, women are expected to cook, clean, and play traditional roles. If they are homemakers, they are expected to do full-time household work. I know women in the USA who do the same, the only difference being the use of appliances. The increase in divorce rates is actually a good sign—it’s no longer a taboo. Even now, men remarry easily and find new brides, whereas divorced women, especially those with children, struggle to remarry, at least in rural areas.

I’m happy your friends got married and are leading good lives. If they had kids, the situation might have been different. These are just my observations. At the very least, the movie shows what not to do—a learning opportunity for men and women considering marriage. No wonder many women prefer to stay single.

In one scene, the heroine protests against her parents for asking her to serve water to her brother. Such situations still exist—many men don’t even wash their plates, and girls don’t get the same freedom as boys. I hope the revolution starts in the kitchen by raising boys and girls equally. Are we there yet? I don’t think so. But I’m sure the new generation, including me, is trying to raise all children equally. Maybe metro areas have changed, but not everywhere in India.

Movies are mostly created for business and entertainment; they don’t necessarily aim to educate people. Once a new movie is released, people stop discussing the old ones. Why is there no discussion on toxic male characters in many movies? People only raise concerns when the heroine goes against traditional expectations.

I also am aware that many men also face issues and suffer, but that kind of subjects are not usually shown in movies.

 

I agree with this one. I am surprised that only now you realised it. Just look at the list of hundred's of Bollywood movies for last many decades , do you agree with them, and the portrayal of heros, toxicity and the way women is portrayed. Is there any reality there. Is thats ok for every one!!!!

But question is why only now we talk about these movies? Because its a slap on patriarchy and that mindset. Women getting some realisation and taking control- people cant digest that. If they portrayed it like sathi savithri no body would have discussed these movies.

Are you saying to tolerate abuse in marriage? Even though there is no physical abuse in mrs movie, the emotional, toxic abuse in sweet controlling way was very evident. But every one try to focus on other aspects.I recently read so many news on married women, not employed, killed, abused by husbands and their family. Those women where, educated, but not employed. Even after their first thappad, they stayed. After all those discussions by families or not listening to their parents to go back to their home. Then they died. Some of then had kids too.

While people here talk about careless decision by girls and their empowerment, why they find it hard to digest or belive how these girls survive after divorce. Cant they go back to their home and take decisions and correct their mistakes they have blindly taken. Why only worry that Indian society is not ready for it? Its contradictory.. So they have to tolerate it because there is no easy divorce !

If you believe all women have the power to take marriage decisions by themselves, then they can find a way to live after divorce too. So this partial blindness wont help. We have to accept that Indian society, atleast part of it, is not ready for both yet.

We cant judge others lives by our limited experience and exposure . I am not either agreeing 100% shown there, but various parts are reality for many, based on the comments I read below the movie clips or social media posts. They are clearly giving an idea on what not to do than what to do.