in my 20 years of US life, many times i got chance to return back but i chickened out. Once i had tickets, bags package but did not go. Now I am towards RTI (moving to india point in life).Me and H are not at same page on this. His family needs his money that he can send only his works here in US. But i am also thinking to move with kids or just in future if he agrees. Ofcourse money source is the main thing. I know that India is very expensive right now, Rent is high. Maids are expensive. For people living there, they have their house settled from many years so just need to maintain/upkeep it and their own lifestyle. For us, it will be scratch like it was scratch from india to us. We may not want to move south where main IT industry is but towards North. Growing up for kids here as well, with no cousins or relatives is also tough as we grow old. No relative lives here. I worry if something happens to us here, what will happen to my kids. It will be hard for them at that stage to settle back in india if some relative manage to take them back. This time we were looking property is really expensive in india. We can not really buy big housing there. And for jobs/IT we can not move in small town. We have to near cosmo . Then here even with work/job, i am able to cook/clean bit and excercise, i do not get time to teach kids but they have all sort of classes like football/karate . but I am not sure how it will work there. Shuttling of kids and yourself. Also, we may not be able to drive in India now. I understand my dependence on other people will definitely increase. Does anyone have any experience of moving to india at later years of life?
my kids are 10 and 5 and ofcourse they like their american life and do not understand concept of cousins , grand parents . They do not even talk to them on phone. Only reason to move back is close to family. My brother ( my siblings are way to younger that me) is going through something in his life and i am not able take that. My H is youngest of all and again he is way to younger than oldest sibling so he is financially supporting all his siblings and ILs. His mother/father has been sick on/off from covid time, and this almost it was almost gone so this time MIL said next time you come i do not know if i ll be there... not that i had love lost with his parents but still we have connection. It felt me so bad. some of my relatives passed away and i was just on phone I do not want to be there for relatives funeral or just be on phone.
Since your kids are still young you can try for couple of years. I have seen people moving to India and coming back in one year. I Hope you have GC or citizenship so you don't have to go through visa process again. You should try soon don't keep thinking about it.
what is your main reason for return 2 india. If it is money. then i am guessing you and your spouse are in very good jobs. since what i read is you have to financially support your ILS. are you planning to live together joint family to reduce costs. india is not a pipe dream anymore. jobs layoffs happen their also. my point is are you financially secure. do not jump or decide anything for emotional reasons. run a rough calculation on your monthly / yearly expenses. which includes everything school food / rent random purchases - diwali and stuff vacations. medical
Many make this mistake of joining their ailing old aged parents or parents in law who are in the evening of their life. This is akin to a parental trap. That too would result in sacrificing domestic peace, depression among kids, need to create a new reliable circle of friends plus additional living expenses. If savings potential good in your present location, be in USA. Keep your PILs in decent old age home like nana neeya ( coimbatore). For the sake of domestic peace and future of your kids, I would suggest continue your family life and career in US. I presume you all hv already GC . Do not stretch your imagination as to who will look after your kids God forbid something happens . Thing the reverse, if something happens to kids in India who will look after you. Pl Dont rush to India
only reason to move is - closer to family We do not have any relative in US or any other country. My side are all settled in govt jobs so no one wants to come in US ever. H side is financially down so for them it is good we stay in US However my reasons are more emotional, thinking future. In india - i have seen women not working, or women with kid ad no husband, still they living good life and someone supporting them like in our case, my H. However, here layoffs, always risk of someone calling us out, racists attacks, gun violence, school kids bullied, i am sick of all these things. I do not plan to join in my ILS or parents but living in vicinity. Both of our parents do not really need old-age care as we have siblings living with them. India is super expensive right now, that is my worry and it is not same. Infact whole india, all over, they try to live like americans. houses are being built like america (kitchens ) , I know there it can not be managed without maid which is another trouble . All that uprooting from US to back to india will be hard, it takes 10 years to start growing your roots and have functional set up. Wht i worry if there is always risk here, and other sort of risks there but atleast family will be around to take care of you.
Since your kids are small I strongly suggest you to move for one year and see now itself. There is loneliness in USA for all Indians. Kids grow very fast and after 18 they never want to stay with parents. I love USA lifestyle and hate India pollution, corruption, poverty etc. But looking back I feel I should have tried living in India for one year at least. My kids are big now and my husband always used to miss his family and friends. Lot of people get depression problem in USA. Indian friends are also very formal. Think it like one year vacation. You can always come back if you don't like.
moving to india 1 year is not easy at this stage of life with job, and without having any job/residency in india. Just an example - when we move to America, knowning that we will stay here for just 1 year we think differently but knowing we might stay here for long time - it is different. then migration in mind - we think different and accumulate to make it our home. I was in india for covid when travel was banned. I knew i am going to go back. My house /job was here waiting for me. so my brain did not settle there, we kept counting days when travel will open week by week, day by day. but if i knew i am going to be here forever, it wd have been different. Yes I also run into depression /anxiety on and off which has been leading me to this frm past few months. Now aging parents or sufferings in siblings is causing more anxiety in me. Yes Indian frnz are very diplomatic. Just they want to maintain relations for linked in links, moving or sickness help or child care help. I feel they are successful in US who are diplomatic. If you are free mind, free speech, you are gone. Respecting people on face.
