Moving out finally- wanted to thank all the ladies and share what worked for me

guesshoo · Aug 8, 2014

That's fantastic, sunshine! Awesome tips too.

Congratulations on your new home. Wish you the best, lady. You deserve it! Xx

sunshine1970 · Aug 8, 2014

1Sandhya - you are absolutely correct, good clarification, every woman has to do what is good in their situation, I tried for years the other way of fighting, arguing, defending and dug a bigger grave, last few years followed this mantra. Yes my DH is VERY decent and he saw the injustice and chose to do something about it, a lot of DH out there that choose to turn their cheek and not be part of it, in this case woman have to change their strategy. Like I said before I was willing to for go my marriage in order to find that happiness but thank God I did not.

jigisha321 · Aug 9, 2014

1Sandhya said: ↑

OP,

Congrats! Your plan worked. And I am very happy for you.

But just a small clarification: your choosing to be strong and silent worked only because your h is basically a decent guy who was able to use his brains, realize the truth and bring you out of the situation. I felicitate him as well. But in many case the hubbies never open their eyes, blindly repeat or reinforce their parents' abuse and simply expect their wives to put up with it. And for such women, speaking up is a better option than keeping silent and continuing to suffer.
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Agree with Sandhya here..When H decides to keep a blind eye and a sealed mouth to his mom, how far can his wife keep silent ? She has to speak for herself or bear the non-sense...Do not want to under-estimate Sunshine's patience or grit here..she has shown tremendous patience and dignity..but in some cases what do you do if your H is blind and will just follow a rigid mentality ? How to have consistent love for such a H, who just ignores how his wife is feeling ?

In such cases it seems futile to wait for the time when H will see sense..it is like waiting for the sun to rise in the west...

Ragini25 · Aug 9, 2014

sunshine has shown 10+ years of immense patience and also strongly building bond with the DH which has paid off. So happy! Congrats!

sunshine1970 · Aug 13, 2014

Hi Jugisha321 in this case you need to weigh your options as I did, is it worth to live the rest of your life like this and that too with a man who won;t stand up for you,, no that is why you need to make some decisions if DH not willing to stand up for you

Chin126 · Aug 20, 2014

A big Hats off to you lady!!!!. Wow you are soo amazing i liked all your key points.... i'm gonna follow all your key points.. as my FIL is coming nxt mth to my place.. My DH is the elder on in d family and no MIL. so facing all the problems you have gone through. the main reason is my DH supports me a lot as he finds some point in mine.. as my FIL thinks as if am snatching his son frm him and started creating small fights in b/w me n my DH.
I'll try my max to follow you lady... but 13yrs you had gone through all those... a bigg salute to you....