To become amma is very difficult. I had my daughter after three years. Glad that I became a mother to three children. My close relative said I can't become a mother. After my daughter was born my husband too barfi and told him I have become mother. He told that relative you have too see the couple's horoscope not only one person E ven another colleague said you are so thin you can't become mother. After I became mother she was not there I told her friend to tell her I have three children When my sis in law's son was put in cradle since i was her manni I was told to put in cradle but one lady.said I can't put as I.am not a mother
Dear @iyerviji mami, May I ask if there is a particular reason why you were reminded now of your struggle facing innuendos before your maternity and motherhood? You said, one lady had objection to you performing a ritual for a newborn because you were yet to be blessed with a child then. I find this attitude of such ladies silly because how do these ladies decide when exactly to name a young lady childless? I mean some ladies become mothers soon after marriage and others start a family after even a decade of getting married! And what could be the possible reason behind stopping a yet-to-become-a-mother or even a childless lady from performing rituals?
Thanks dear for your thoughtful reply. My ex boss with whom I am in contact thru whatsapp calls me amma actually so .many in this site also.call me Vijima. His calling me reminded me how my position was when I had not conceived.
Noted, Vijima! I have not interacted with you much on IL but I know how much you are loved and respected here. Thank you for all the wisdom you are sharing through your kind and well- meaning posts here. A lot of people like me benefit/ learn a lot from it.
Thanks for sharing this post Vijima! I experienced the essence of motherhood long before I got married or had a child of my own—through a beautiful bond with a daughter of another mother. We connected in a way that felt unique and profound, and even now, as she’s a 20-year-old adult, I still carry maternal feelings for her. Years ago, when we spent time together, I remember sharing my chocolates and ice cream with her—something I wouldn’t even do with my own siblings or friends, especially not the last piece! It reminded me of my own mother, who selflessly shared her favourite treats with us, even when she hadn’t had a bite herself. As a child, I couldn’t understand how she could give so much without hesitation. But over time, I realized that’s the power of motherhood. When I naturally did the same with Maryam—the girl I emotionally adopted back then, at just 20-something—it felt incredible. I didn’t do it out of obligation; I did it out of pure love. That’s when it hit me—motherhood isn’t just a biological role; it’s an emotional connection rooted in unconditional care and love. Over time, I’ve learned that motherhood goes far beyond sharing chocolates or treats. It’s about creating a safe space for a child, providing comfort, and being a constant presence of love and protection. That’s why mothers are irreplaceable in a child’s life. Now, coming to the point—it saddens me to see how childless parents, especially women, are often made to feel out of place or unworthy during family functions. It’s unnecessary and unfair. Society attributes this to concepts like the "evil eye," suggesting that childless women may envy those who are pregnant or have children, making the latter vulnerable to harm. While I acknowledge the existence of the evil eye (from personal experience), it’s absurd to generalize and assume that all childless women harbor envy or ill intentions. This is nonsense. Many childless women—or those yet to become mothers—are angels at heart, capable of offering blessings and prayers for safe deliveries. Conversely, motherhood itself doesn’t guarantee purity of heart. Among those who bear children, there could still be individuals with harmful intentions. So, where’s the logic in blaming childlessness? Motherhood isn’t defined by biology alone. It’s a capacity to love selflessly, protect fiercely, and provide unwavering support—traits that many childless women embody as much as any biological mother. Let’s stop attaching stigmas to their lives and celebrate the love they carry within.