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Mother In Law - Gets Influenced

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by star90new, Jun 2, 2018.

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  1. Jun 2, 2018 #1
    star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear ladies
    My mother in law compares with me with all the DIL's she knows of.
    Mostly those people are older than me or not working.
    Recently I have noticed one of my aunt in law calls my Mil and says bad things about her own DIL.
    After listening to that my MIL is treating me badly. She says things like girls salary should be used by husbands family . Husbands family is important and girls family should be treated like trash. My mother law is getting influenced by this aunt and many other people like her.
    I am already not in good rapport with my MIL and this aunt is causing further damage.
    what do I do?
     
    star90new, Jun 2, 2018
    star90new, Jun 2, 2018
    #1
    Thyagarajan likes this.
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  2. Jun 2, 2018 #2
    VidyaSuresh

    VidyaSuresh Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Star90,

    If you are giving your salary to ur parents family, if your husband doesn't object leave it. If not make him understand your necessity to support your parents. Ask him to talk to his mother and make her understand and not get influenced by others and not to compare you with other dils. Some people we cannot change and we have to ignore their talks and not take to heart. The more you to take to heart the harsh words they speak the more you get stressed. Dont think too much on that and keep yourself busy with your activities.
     
    VidyaSuresh, Jun 2, 2018
    VidyaSuresh, Jun 2, 2018
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    Thyagarajan and shravs3 like this.
  3. Jun 2, 2018 #3
    Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:i would suggest you tell that in comparison with so and so' S MIL she is worst and that would finish the game once for all. Partaking your salary must have been discussed before wedding. If you had given dowry to them that is the price you had paid for buying him and therefore she has no right on her son whatsoever. Only tit for tat works with stubborn Mils.
    Wish you all the best.
     
    Thyagarajan, Jun 2, 2018
    Thyagarajan, Jun 2, 2018
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  4. Jun 2, 2018 #4
    Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    If u can answer your mil back do it like ask her y all of a sudden u are asking me to do it..
    or just say yes n say I will see what I want to do if the money. Earn..

    Stand for yourself or else they will dance on your head
     
    Sangeeta85, Jun 2, 2018
    Sangeeta85, Jun 2, 2018
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  5. Jun 2, 2018 #5
    star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you all. Can I do anything to stop her from talking to aunt? I am not close to my aunt.. I think they are closer.
    I am scared if my aunt will even do things to make me and my husband separate because.. he son and DIL are not happy in life..
     
    star90new, Jun 2, 2018
    star90new, Jun 2, 2018
    #5
  6. Jun 3, 2018 #6
    Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    If u have a strong evidence against ur aunt that she is trying to create drama u talk to ur husband and ask to talk to ur mil..
     
    Sangeeta85, Jun 3, 2018
    Sangeeta85, Jun 3, 2018
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  7. Jun 3, 2018 #7
    Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Maybe that was her doing.
     
    Sunshine04, Jun 3, 2018
    Sunshine04, Jun 3, 2018
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  8. Jun 3, 2018 #8
    DXBDesi

    DXBDesi Silver IL'ite

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    Sometimes, people use other peoples opinions to hide their own feelings

    Parent: So and so was saying how your wife is out of control, you should act on it

    Son: Why should what so and so say matter to me

    Parent: We live in a society, you cannot be too selfish, you should listen to what others are pointing out


    In this case the parent is pushing what they want from their heart by using some external party as the instigator
     
    DXBDesi, Jun 3, 2018
    DXBDesi, Jun 3, 2018
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  9. Jun 3, 2018 #9
    Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:if u yield meekly or and timidly once then it is going to be for ever. For the sake of others' happiness don't forego yours. You can always remain firm politely.
    God Bless Us All Always.
     
    Thyagarajan, Jun 3, 2018
    Thyagarajan, Jun 3, 2018
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  10. Jun 4, 2018 #10
    Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    True .. I did that always bowed down n my mil troubled me a lot and still is but this time hopefully I will gain the happiness I deserve
     
    Sangeeta85, Jun 4, 2018
    Sangeeta85, Jun 4, 2018
    #10
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