Moody Husband

unknown123 · Oct 14, 2013

Hi to all,

I used to read indusladies forum from past 1 year. I like this forum very much for any taking any decision and receipes, pooja and everything.

Coming to the point. My husband is very moody type... He wants to live his life by his own way. He does not bother about me. He is not understanding my feelings. He is totally opposite of my character.

He is not caring and very moody type. If i say something bad about his family he will get irritated and he will not talk to me for 2 days....

After that whatever is say he will not listen to me... His thought is

1) I have to cook.
2) Take care of baby
3) Keeping home clean
4) Maintain bills
5) Planning and managing home...

Everything i have to do... But sometime if i have more work... he is watching tv i used to get tensed and will shout... Then thats it all plan spoiled.... whatever i cry and say sorry he will not listen... he will say like why u r shouting like this...

According to him, i have to do all the above things and should not shout... But he listen to tv always.

Please i need some advice from you..

Rihana · Oct 14, 2013

unknown123 said: ↑

If i say something bad about his family he will get irritated and he will not talk to me for 2 days....
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Can you make a master list and tell all the bad about his family in one shot?

Everything i have to do... But sometime if i have more work... he is watching tv i used to get tensed and will shout... Then thats it all plan spoiled.... whatever i cry and say sorry he will not listen... he will say like why u r shouting like this...

According to him, i have to do all the above things and should not shout...
Click to expand...

So, he is clear on what he wants. No shouting. Don't shout. Try to assign him some task like handling the baby, but with no comments about the TV and in a calm tone. He is not the first husband who needs to be told what to do, and won't be the last. You can try to change his very nature or you can get the household tasks done with minimal arguments and fights.

But he listen to tv always.
Click to expand...

Because it comes with a remote that comes with a mute button. If you are shouting, then crying and saying sorry, and this is happening as a routine, then, no wonder....

yellowmango · Oct 15, 2013

Try to get him to help with the baby.Delegate outside work to him like buying grocery,daily vegetables,banking etc. Get a maid to help out with household work.

Do you live with his parents? Don't talk bad about his family,instead tell him what is bothering you and effecting you.

unknown123 · Oct 15, 2013

Hi Rihana...

First if all thanks for your response. Yes i have been told his family in one shot.

He is not in good mood then every plan will be cancelled whatever is important.

Yesterday fully he did not talked to me. Today morning he came and talked but i did not responded him properly. So he did not went to office because is not in mood and he is telling like i am spoiling his mood always and i dont know how to talk...

I am wondering like why this husbands are like this.... i have to go on their way.. if anything i have opposed thats it everything get spoiled that is hurting me lot and my mood also spoiling...

Please tell me Can i go in his way that is whatever he says i have to accept and smile...

Thank you so much

unknown123 · Oct 15, 2013

Hi Yellowmango,

Thanks for your response. Some times he will take care of baby since he is going to office.

we cant get maid since we are living in japan and it is costly too...

He is good to me if i do all the below

1) say yes to all his thoughts
2) If i talk to his all family members in skype daily
3) Have to accept whatever he says
4) Smiling always
5) Acting smart like maintaing bills, budget , money saving
6) Keeping home clean...

If not he will get mood out and he will not talk to me and child also....

hotchillipepper · Oct 15, 2013

He is right in at least one thing that you should not shout! this is bad expression however right the reason might be but when we loose control and loose decorum then we can easily become target instead of victim! So wait till your anger subside before saying anything. To express anger we can just say that we are angry without raising our voices. And delegate some work to him as others have suggested.

unknown123 · Oct 15, 2013

Hi hotchillipepper,

Thanks for your response... Yes i will try to control my anger and if i have more work i am getting anger... I know that is not correct but :-(.....

Yes i will delegate some work to him.... He say yes when i say some work to him but he will not do for that also i am getting tensed...

unknown123 · Oct 21, 2013

Hi Friends,

Thanks for your replies. My friend gave me some advice. I just want to share this to you all. May be for some of you it may be useful and some points will be more stupid. But no way this the secret for happy life i think

1) I should not shout at all.
2) I should be very independent and i should not expect anything from him even a small work
3) We cannot change his character and i should accept as he is.
4) I should talk to my in laws daily which makes him more happy.
5) I should love him whatever he does
6) Sacrifice and tolerance

She told this points to me and i am following this because

If we fights he is very cool and not at all worrying and i am the one who is always worrying.

And also she mentioned like if you follow all this then he will understand surely and it will be useful after some years

Thank you for her....

Akanksha1982 · Oct 21, 2013

your friend and Rihana gave wonderful advice. Please follow them. Delegate him things by praising him at that. like, you do a wonderful job at finances so i think you should take care of paying bills, budgeting etc.