Mom with infant..Household chores overwhelming... how to delegate few to husband.

To men you have to explicitly ask them what you want. This is how my husband and I work it out. We sit and list out all the chores, the time it takes and priority. We divide it as fair as possible based on who is most suited.

Eventually you will find out that he is good at something abd who needs to do what will be implied and will not require a discussion.

Having it on paper all the items that needs to completed already helps.

 

This is the bane of women worldwide...how to get husbands to do stuff without nagging.

I think you are just going to have to be point blank on what you need. Remember if he does the stuff you can't nitpick or he will stop....accept less than perfect performance.

Taking out the garbage is always the man's job btw. gigglingsmiley

 

I agree with the posters who say that you will have to spell out everything that needs doing. I have learned to do this with my DH.
A polite " These are the things that need to be done, at your convenience. I would appreciate it however if you could finish them by the end of the day (weekend)" works better for me than just saying that he should help.
Also decide what is important to you and do that. Delegate the rest and as long as it gets done, don't comment on how its done.
I take out the trash though, since I hate seeing it pile up and my DH doesn't see the need to take it out until there are new life forms growing in it ;-)!
I would seriously look into hiring a housekeeping service at least bi-weekly, so you both have some time to relax. The chore wheel can be pretty mindless, and you can use the time not spent cleaning to do something as a family.

 

MalStrom:
Men have such poor olfactory organs that they get the job de facto as women are such tender flowers.

 

(Please forget all the dirty diapers that women are able to change.....)

 

either you ask him upront or you dont do the tasks at all

 

Reality (even though Rihanna may disagree ) - majority (not all) Indian men have grown to a relatively (again, relatively only) pampered life at home. If there was a boy kid and girl kid, guess who got to do domestic chores at home? Yes, you guessed right.

So, this change takes a long time, and will come slowly. In the meanwhile, OP - "dont nag". Instead be polite and persistent, and dont give him bunch of tasks. Ask for one task, START SLOW with one or two tasks only, and once he gets used to that, then slowly and incrementally build it. Else he will just put up a fight, and you folks will fight, argue, cry, 5 new IL threads, etc etc.

 

Do the planning together. Make a list with all the chores - laundry, cooking, taking child to daycare, cleaning, grocery shopping, doing dishes etc. Each of you can pick chores you prefer to do, discuss what you want to do together (eg cooking) or do alternate days/weeks. Is there anything you can outsource, ie hire help for. Are there ways to do things easier/more effective? (Ie prepare bigger quantities of food and keep in freezer, getting a dryer etc).

When you have agreed on these let him do his tasks as he wants. No nagging or interfering.

 

training and domestication takes awhile, you should have started right off the bat. like crayoness and others have suggested, ask clearly, post a schedule, you may need a few reminders to move things along. is there an app for this?