Dear friends, Hope you are doing good amidst this COVID19 craziness all over the world. Intact, after a decade or so, me & my H are living under one roof for this many days continuously. It is indeed a very pleasant experience since most of our displeasures were due to long distance relationship & others interferences. Kids enjoy the presence of both parents & we all cherish our lives unlike before. However, it is my mother who isn't happy about this development. She sucks, depressed and blabers things that emotionally hurts us. A little background about my mom for those who don't know her... She & I never a perfect relationship. In fact, she hated me as a kid and always favoured my other 2 siblings over me. She would compare myself to every X, Y and Z only to criticize & put me down. Those were the most painful days, that i had to always pretend just as how my mom wanted me to live, than living my life. Even then there wasn't any appreciation. I worked so hard only to shine in my academics so that o could make my mom proud to win her heart. I think it worked in a way, if not for her love, at least i grabbed her attention for that. Later, she disapproved our marriage and had no plans to even spend a day at my home then. In 2011, i had a lot of marital issues and i moved out of the town for work with a 1 yr old kid in hand. Thud she conditioned to live with us for 2 weeks till the kid gets familiarize with the new nanny. During this time she had some unpleasant issues with my newly married sis & bro back at home, so she decided to extend her stay with us by expelling the nanny. Over the months, I became fully dependent on her with the kid, & continued to have marital issues too. Once all of a sudden, she decided to go but offered to take the kid with her to her home. I had no other option, but allowed her to do do by arranging a maid in our home town. I had to live separately from my 1 yr old kid back then. Similarly, when i delivered the second kid, she came in & stayed there for 6 months. After that, she left. Without my H's support i couldn't handle both the kids with my full time hectic managerial Job. Beside i was the primary bread winner at home with a heavy housing loan to repay. So, without any arguments, I gave in to her demands and sent both my kiddos (3 yrs & 6 months) away with her. I had no reliable day care or nannies in that new city hence didnt wanna risk with my young kids safety by keeping them with me. I've arranged 2 nannies & a driver at my own home in our home town, so that mom could comfortably live there with kids. I visited them frequently though. Constant travelling made me sick, yet i had no choice. All these while I've only seen her selfless love with the kids & me. But now a days i am seeing it from a different ankle. Yes, during this COVID19 we are home, and taking fullest control of the home to be happy. Mom hates this and often subtlety suggests that my H should go to work. When lockdown became strick, she started playing politics by bringing old issues now and trigger me to have heated arguments with H. She criticizes him for watching TV constantly and doing no help in the home etc etc... Specially when i am supper busy with WFH & cooking without help. Which again creates unpleasantness. So, after a while I've decided not to get carried away with mom's emotions but to sit with H and work things out. Bcz there is no hurry to get things done in certain way or time. And it works well for us. But mom sucks... 3 weeks back all of a sudden she came to watch music show in TV. But kids & H were watching spiderman which infuriated her. From that moment onwards she stopped talking to us. Behave weirdly as if we have insulted her, and neglected her wishes. She is on self pity mode and says that she has become useless to us & we disrespect her. So to protect her self respect she chooses to stay in her nest alone. Kids are upset seeing her this way, and i feel extremely bad for it. I even fought with H for constantly watching TV without letting others to enjoy it. But he was right that mom never asked or requested for a slot. Nevertheless my H & I begged for forgiveness, asked her to be normal, made her ample opportunity to be comfortable and what not. During these 3 weeks i had cried and pleaded her to be normal because it kills our happiness during this pressured times. But she pays no heed & adamant. She has always been like this, specially with me since childhood. That's why i had to act and not to live before her. But i can't do that all my life. I feel it is too much that she should stop using me and living my life. Now that, since i stopped worrying so much about her silence, rather acting so... She too started doing things aggressively. Like she doesn't eat or eats late, very less etc... She suffers with insomnia and roams around the house during mid night like a mentally challenged person. She closes the room most of the time and not even talks with kids. With my previous experience, I know that she will be back to normal if i start a huge fight with my H. Which i do in other hectic days whenever she complains against him as this. Bcz those times i would be pressurized to settle all the issues within those 2 days of my weekend visits and make sure mom is in normal terms while i leave kids with her on Monday mornings. The least i want from my H is a silly problem like TV or Kitchen matter which triggers mom. So i show my displeasure, tension and all on him & sometimes use harsh words too. But miraculously mom gets healed and things get better. After that, I would cry alone the next 5 days for what have i done to my man. I even apologize to him later without mom's knowledge. And he knows why i act so before her, as both are helpless but dependent on mom back then. I feel ashamed about that now. Now that i don't wanna do that. I want to live my life as per my terms. And i can't continue to please mom the way she expects. But she is too old... Probably she is truly depressed ,( she has thyroxin). If so, ignoring her or taking no action may cause serious damage. She may inform my other siblings about the issue negatively and if anything bad happens they might curse me as a selfish. Bcz everyone says i should be thankful for what she has been doing to us all these days. But i know from heart that I've been adjusting and acting all my life just to please mom, that to at the cost of my own life & marriage. No one would do that.... What to do guys??