Modifying The Arranged Marriage Model

yes totally agree. i do not allow either too. and so far lucky not to have that tension. just wanted to mention the trend in middle schools . it is not an emotional date, more of stupid play stuff. I am just lucky my kid shares this . not all do.


and your point is 100% valid. it is just tricky and india is a complicated country which runs a lot on feelings and ego than reality atleast with respect to arranged marriages.

 

@lavani
Middle school dating is definitely too early (and though to be fair- it's the "popular" kids that generally pretend to date). Us, Indian kids are not that socially confident to do the same. I think high school is a good time to encourage dating. Like going to school dances - not many people actually go with someone they are interested in, but it's a social construct so that they can become more comfortable with the idea, especially the shy.

1st gen Indian kids growing up in areas with low indian population, tend to struggle with dating and finding a suitable partner. in my personal experience, my peers are mostly unmarried or married outside of their ethnicity. My younger brother and his peers, generally date and marry other Indians. Funny how a couple years and having a larger Indian community makes a difference.

 

@BhumiBabe

I am just sharing what my lil girls talks to me everyday. I do not encourage and i have explained this to her very well too. As girls being emotional such activities, will be a major distraction to her growth as she is not emotionally mature to comprehend this. this is the age to focus on education and not getting stuck emotionally.

she understands if it explained in a manner which is not bossy. now a days our old tactics of scolding and bossing does not work. they have a lot of freedom. chromebook in schools, email. too much social interaction with the world. ( I actually touched the computer first when i was 15 years old .

 

Sure, that's what I thought. But, it's not particularly a new thing- middle school is the age for this type of feelings. I told my mom everything and she always knew all my crushes. Of course, I wasn't allowed to date until after college - so, I wanted to share what I felt about it. Definitely do not push the arranged marriage model as the only one to her...

 

@Amulet . omg . thanks a lot for the eye opener . i really never knew that so many people remain unmarried !!! if i am not calcuating wrong then 1 out of 10 is unmarried??? i have hardly come across this many unmarried people (above the age of 35). what is your take on that . others please comment on the data which amulet posted .