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Missed Opportunities

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by periamma, Dec 11, 2016.

  1. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    I want to share how i missed Three chances to become self dependent i got married at the younger age of 17 and within three years i got two sons.most of my time was spent to bring up them with good qualities.After they entered school life i was free and had a lot of time .During this period i diverted my mind in crafts like crocheting,bead works,Fabric painting and making bags with plastic wires.This is the common hobby for all women those days.There were two monthly magazines exclusively for women and they published different crafts making.Tutorial for each craft with designs were given which was very easy to follow.These magazines are the main catalyst for my hobbies.At this time an advertisement was given in the news papers calling for the post of telephone operators in Telecom department.S.S.L.C (ELEVENTH STD.)is the educational qualification for this job.My husband was a govt.engineer and we were in Govt.quarters.There were eight houses in that colony and all the taluk head officers were allotted houses .
    I decided to send application for the job and i shared this with my friends.one of my friend conveyed this to her dh who was a judicial magistrate.Next day morning he called me and said"no need for you to go for a job as you are well sufficient .Then why do you crab the chance from a women who needs the job desperately.Think again and have a good decision"so i dropped the idea to send application.I didn't mistake my neighbour as we all were closely bonded with affection .This is the first opportunity i missed.This happened in 1977.

    Then again in 1990 one more opportunity was dropped due to request from my family members.Tamilnad govt.was conducting a training for women to bringup women entreprenures. This was two months program held in the District industrial centre.one month class room program and one month Practical classes.Those who conducted the lessons were Bank employees,Entreprenures,faculty from university,Auditors and people from Industries and commerce department.after one month we have to select the business of our choice and prepare a project report.All went well and on the valedictory function they asked me to give vote of Thanks.Visitors were impressed by my speech and i was appreciated by them .Then i got the licence for the small scale industry and the bank officials promised me to grant loan .My father owned a lime kiln in my native as our district has many limestone quarries.Those days no distemper or paints were available and only cem was used to white wash the houses.I got the quotations for the machineries and was in a full swing to start the industry.My brother accompanied me to have cordial meet with chairman of Distict industries and commerce association and he showed a warm welcome.Then went to meet an Auditor to prepare the proper project report to be submitted to the Financial sectors.we were waiting for on hour for the auditor and my brother was upset.He asked me "Do you want to start a business like this waiting for others?This does not suit for our family status?i was stunned by his questions and walked out silently.Again missing opportunity due to other's opinion.He is younger to me but obliged to his views as i needed his help too

    Third one a job as a shop-in-charge of a jewellery showroom which was also dropped out as my family members didn't like .Now i think why my ambition or desires were not fulfilled /Am i not solid in taking decisions?Friends give your opinions

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  2. maggi32

    maggi32 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Amma.

    1) I dont know why her DH asked u to drop the job for a more needy candidates....may be the situation & criteria s were different in those days for a woman to work.

    2) I am sure you would have become a good Entrepreneur with Cem business :)

    3) In regard to Jewellery shop....Mov u really missed it ma...with this sky rocketing gold prices cha cha whchha opportunity....but kudos to u even after knowing its a Gold Showroom u never succumbed to any pressure or desires.

    Firstly , you would have scale the heights in any department with your hard working & calm nature & there is no doubt about it.

    Secondly, i dont want to get judgemental because those days were very different wrt mindset, priorities, social set up, family priorities.

    Thirdly, you have done a tremendous job of bringing up your Kids & nurturing them with strong values & you have dedicated all your aim / time for the benefit of family {may be to uphold the family name / status}.

    Now did u miss u those 3 opportunities? may be or may not be....but you have achieved many things more important that those 3 in your own pace & style :):):):):).
     
  3. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    @maggi32 Thanks for your soothing fb.missed three opportunities and brought up three kids.
     
  4. maggi32

    maggi32 IL Hall of Fame

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    Amma: That Gold showroom job still available ah? I am ready with my bags :treadmill::treadmill::treadmill:
     
  5. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Periamma,
    You did what you could under the situation. Many of us, especially of my mother's generation were brought up to listen to elders and male relatives. My mother was also not allowed to go for job despite being well-educated because her in-laws thought it was beneath the family status. She wanted to be a teacher. And they did not want her to apply for a bank job giving the same reason that a more needy person would be deprived.
    You have done an excellent job raising your family. If another opportunity presents you can confidently go for it now.
     
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  6. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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  7. GoogleGlass

    GoogleGlass IL Hall of Fame

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    Nice write up mmaa on missed opportunities.

    All of us mostly when we think back, would definitely feel that we have missed a few opportunities.

    When we just tie the knot (male) or take the knot (female), there would pass by a handsome/beautiful man/woman, can we feel for it??? No mmaa there is no end to what could have been done better.

    These experiences give an insight to reduce missing the opportunities that would come by and taking a better decision. That's my take mmaa.
     
  8. PavithraS

    PavithraS Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear @periamma - What a lovely snippet ! Even though there is this feel of mild sadness in your words, I find no anger in them. Instead you have clearly gone through those events that took place many years ago and patiently put them to words , not judging or blaming anybody involved in your unfortunate 'missing of opportunities'. As maggi and malstrom put , it was not that you weren't 'solid enough' to take life decisions, it is just that you are a person who has this rare quality of thinking from others' shoes. As the societal view in those days about women empowerment was very different than it is now, your family members and well wishers also advised you or gave an impression of not taking up an entrepreneurship role. If it was a different time period , I am sure they would have been more supporting towards you taking up a successful working women role. After knowing you here (from your sensible writings) for an year and a half, I am sure, with your overall knowledge and approach to people and situation, you would have been a happy and successful person on both home front and also in work. May be not only you missed the opportunities ,those opportunities also missed a person like you ! I am glad that I got to know you . Cheer Up, periamma ! Even now you can do anything you like, health permits.
     
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  9. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Periamma
    I am not surprised that you are so talented but I am surprised that someone like you had missed taking up wonderful opportunities especially being a woman entrepreneur decades back. Our social setup was like that back then. What went by is gone. No point in feeling for that. You did best what you could in your given state. Now also its not too late. If you find another opportunity grab it on the first sight (GG solra sight illa ithu).

    Take care
     
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  10. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks GG.
     
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