Mind Is A Trickster..

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Mar 7, 2022.

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  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    How do you not get swayed away by opinions or get influenced by others? Be it in real life or social media?

    I do not have much problem with my reality around me.It does not seem glamorous as shown in social media :smiley:

    But many a times I get influenced by social media and movies.I do have this problem which I try to overcome but keep failing.I quit fb and Instagram which seems like a relief but again that’s never a solution.One can watch it like an audience and then not get affected by it but I do.

    Also..today being a Sunday I watched an old romantic movie of Maddy @Rihana (I have to tag you when I mention maddy :))

    The movie is “Minnale” ..In Hindi “Rehana hai tere dil main”..

    The movie is so romantic and it stirred certain emotions.My life with my hubby has always been practical,never had an love story before my wedding and after seeing that movie..I started to feel I missed out on something.

    Same with horror genre or drama genre..I get so affected and negative for the next few hours.

    If I see friendship movies..I start to miss out on having good friends

    If I see family movies..am not even going to go there!

    so it’s like this..If I see Instagram that’s the worst thing..The gorgeous outfits, the beautiful locations,the happy smiles are enough to put my mind to a whirlwind.

    I shut off everything and when am in reality..it is very normal and sometimes Am in my early 40’s and suddenly felt..Is this all is there to life!

    After seeing some India vacation pics in Fb..I started to miss out on India.

    Here everything is the same,no theme restaurants,chat food on the streets,crowd, people speaking out language,even sounds of traffic,the beautiful temples,beaches,movie theatres where the crowd gives a different vibe etc.Nowdays..lot of beach resorts and there is so much variety.


    Again shut off Fb..and I came back to reality.So quiet!!

    I can’t shut off and on anymore..

    I want a fun environment with lots of people and I want to get lost in that
    Crowd.Maybe if am lucky..make some good friends like the college days and go out to the malls or good restaurants.Wish I was in Chennai.Every weekend I will go to my mom’s place :hearteyes:.I will have short trips once in two months..I miss all of that big time!!!

    It is absolutely not the same here..Suddenly felt if life is getting wasted! In the pursuit of greener pastures..what am I doing here leaving my family and friends??:pensive:

    So many feelings arose watching YouTube videos of Chennai and some insta pics of my friend’s.

    I get very swayed by social media and movies..One of my reasons of coming abroad is after seeing the locations in movies..yeah I admit:facepalm:

    I don’t lack anything in life.Good spouse and kid, decent finance and good health.I am usually content but have to admit it is very hard to life a robotic life and not having your parents or good friends by your side..

    just sharing ..
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    You want what you had in the happy days of your youth. Don’t we all.
    The reality I have seen in India is that it’s not so much different as any other place. People are still rushing around trying to balance work and family and pre-pandemic some of the commutes were mind-boggling. Weekends are spent resting and catching up. You do get to see family and attend events but it’s not all roses.
    Insta is a very curated version of someone’s life. I guarantee if you started posting your daily activities with some catchy writing and all the photography tricks you’d also gather an envious fan following. :wink1:
     
  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello: It is all in the sayings or adages:
    East or West - Home is best.
    Distance always lend enchantment to the view.
    ( இக்கறைக்கு அக்கரை பச்சை)

    Many times told mysel for next few hours I won’t touch gadgets.
    But felt miserable. But then I changed my activity to do something serious involving physical moments, I felt enhanced feeling good.
    But desire to post pops up with renewed vigour as if pent up ball in water.

    But largely I am contented man. This is not age of ambition for me. I remain happy with whatever God had bestowed upon me. It is almost neither elation nor sad about anything. War or no war I get my lunch brunch and interest income.

    But unambitious life tend to be filled with ennui. You got to be doing something. It could be calling our bosom friend and chat for an hour. It is restorative. Practise hobby for sometime.

    Nothing would equate or compensate with our local hobnobbing in native town. Many things in distant land often transport mind to our native place practices or happenings.
    It is nice to have a vicarious feel of moisture filled air wafting from proceeding and or receding waves on the shores of marina beach with a paper cone filled with பட்டாணி Sundal!

    Thanks and Regards.
     
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  4. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    To be very honest, no one is happy or content in this life. If they could say so, then it means they have reached the absolute level of mental sanity - which is not a possibility in this materialistic world.
    Perhaps, you may try that in Kailasa....

    Jokes apart....
    What you have said above, especially the word "I don't lack anything", "I am content" "I have everything in life" are clearly lies. They are the camouflages that you use to cover up your gaps.

    The gaps between your expectation & and the reality is what you are dealing right now.

    First of all, accept your life as it is. Everyone has their own sets of troubles, issues, weakness, problems, etc..etc.... and it is the reality.
    For you, the robotic life is the problem. For the outside world, it does look as a perfect life with a spouse, kid, settled life, etc..etc...But, you can't cheat your inner self that is yearning for love, romance, friendship, fun and respect....

    I would have watched minnale movie a 100 times, and each time it reminds me of our lovely times as lovers before marriage. It still brings back the butterflies in my stomach.
    But then, I happen to watch a tamil tele-serial where a husband stood by his wife against his entire family. That scene itself burnt my stomach, because my H didn't do that when I was made uncomfortable by his folks back then.

    Similarly, I did not feel jealous by looking at my friend who visited Egypt last year. Because I visited Egypt last month and had posted more pictures in insta than my friend.
    But I felt uneasy when I saw a post of my friend returning home. We both travelled together, but he was lucky to get leaves before me. It made me sad for sometimes until another problem came.

    See... it is not the movie or social media that make us uncomfortable. It is our own problems and inabilities that kicks back when we see someone else is having it easier.

    First of all, know your problems, work towards them or make up your mind to accept them as part of your life package.
    Please know... everyone has problems, perhaps different problems than yours.

    Now focus on what you have. Leave the rest
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2022
  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:You had called it spade a spade!
    Regards.
     
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  6. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Me being content with materialism is not a lie.

    I agree with friends and family or the robotic life but those feelings arose when I get drawn towards social Media or movies.

    When I meant I have everything in life.. in my perspective a good family,decent finance and environment is the peak of happiness according to me.I do realize that but as a normal human sometimes nostalgia kicks in.

    it’s been 3 years since I have been to India and met my friends and family.Fond memories are stirred watching social media or movies.It is not always jealousy.We remember our fun times and sometimes want to relive it.

    Since I also understand my reality..that’s what I meant my shut off and on.I am also practical.

    I started this a fun thread anyways and intend to keep it that way.

    All I wanted to know was if these feelings are common and people get swayed away by movies etc..

    As an example..I even got swayed away by bahubali movie has despite knowing it is not real and that feeling lingered.

    I get swayed away by Superman movies and love this super powers.

    Minnale movie transported me to 90’s despite knowing maddy is now 50.Sometimes fantasy world kicks in.that’s all I wanted to say.
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2022
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  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    The point here is that Op is roused by the feeling of “missing” as & when exposed to media.. and that yearning peaking and prevented by huge distance and oceans.

    Spouse & I shifted residence close to a place in the heart of the city to our son-in-law & daughter’ mansion. Daughter brought us here before pandemic. We missed our friends, cultural programmes and our participation, temple visits Pooja bhajan etc .

    When over phone we learn from about these activities we are forced to realise what we are missing. But then would we be comfortable at our old age, if we continued to live in our own home their alone!

    It looks that in life one has got to sacrifice what was cherished before to enjoy something new and better!

    Local or Global this longing lingers.
     
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  8. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes, because you are trying to be practical by camouflaging your inner needs & wants.
    This can get triggered with a simple social media post of your friend.
    But again, you are being practical; hence deactivate your social media account to stay away from the reality.
    Looks like, you are comfortable in your own little world away from many people or their interactions.
    Good for you!

    But, how long can you do this? Like @Thyagarajan sir mentioned, accept the reality & face it with courage.

    Because, you can't deactivate real life people that show romance or discuss India trip in front of you. Rather it is better, you accept them, yourself and both of your destiny & move on without being troubled.

    Good luck.

    PS. I know you have started this thread lightly in a funny way. But, it is not so fun to the readers who understand your background.
     
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  9. nuss

    nuss Finest Post Winner

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    Trying to give you a different perspective here. Why don't you visit India when you can? Don't wait for the perfect time that suits the whole family. your family is not missing India, you are. Go for a week or 10 days, enjoy, and then focus on your life in India.

    I have been doing this since 2020. Before 2020, we visited India every other year. It was a whole family affair. But, I didn't want to take the kids during the pandemic but wanted to spend time with my parents. I have been going for 7-8 days once or twice a year. The money we save on buying just one ticket instead of 4 allows me to buy a more expensive ticket whenever I want and more than once a year. It also allows me to take my parents to doctors and help them with whatever is needed and also allows me to catch up with friends for a day.

    If I have 3 days off and I can ask someone to cover for my class it gives me a week off and off I go. My kids are now 9 and 6 and my husband can easily take care of them (wouldn't I be doing the same if he had to travel?).

    Don't wait for the perfect moment, turn a moment into a perfect one!
     
  10. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    All the time!
    It should be illegal for people to have neat houses, well put together hair, nails, makeup, food ready and kids and pets in order. Gardens and yards are amazing. Even home clothes are designer level. Magazine worthy homes and selves.

    Here I am, I can either keep the kids clean or the house. Don’t expect me to do both. Dirty floors are a sign of a happy home. I can either cook or keep the kitchen clean. Who can do both? I’m the one who shows up to carpool with PJ pants, slippers, a sweater hiding the dirty tee and my knotted hair in a dirty bun.

    These days I’m following Gibran when it comes to social media.

    Travel and tell no one,
    Live a true love story and tell no one,
    Live happily and tell no one,
    People ruin beautiful things!
     
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