Mind Is A Trickster..

You want what you had in the happy days of your youth. Don’t we all.
The reality I have seen in India is that it’s not so much different as any other place. People are still rushing around trying to balance work and family and pre-pandemic some of the commutes were mind-boggling. Weekends are spent resting and catching up. You do get to see family and attend events but it’s not all roses.
Insta is a very curated version of someone’s life. I guarantee if you started posting your daily activities with some catchy writing and all the photography tricks you’d also gather an envious fan following.

 

It is all in the sayings or adages:
East or West - Home is best.
Distance always lend enchantment to the view.
( இக்கறைக்கு அக்கரை பச்சை)
Many times told mysel for next few hours I won’t touch gadgets.
But felt miserable. But then I changed my activity to do something serious involving physical moments, I felt enhanced feeling good.
But desire to post pops up with renewed vigour as if pent up ball in water.

But largely I am contented man. This is not age of ambition for me. I remain happy with whatever God had bestowed upon me. It is almost neither elation nor sad about anything. War or no war I get my lunch brunch and interest income.

But unambitious life tend to be filled with ennui. You got to be doing something. It could be calling our bosom friend and chat for an hour. It is restorative. Practise hobby for sometime.

Nothing would equate or compensate with our local hobnobbing in native town. Many things in distant land often transport mind to our native place practices or happenings.
It is nice to have a vicarious feel of moisture filled air wafting from proceeding and or receding waves on the shores of marina beach with a paper cone filled with பட்டாணி Sundal!

Thanks and Regards.

 

To be very honest, no one is happy or content in this life. If they could say so, then it means they have reached the absolute level of mental sanity - which is not a possibility in this materialistic world.
Perhaps, you may try that in Kailasa....

Jokes apart....
What you have said above, especially the word "I don't lack anything", "I am content" "I have everything in life" are clearly lies. They are the camouflages that you use to cover up your gaps.

The gaps between your expectation & and the reality is what you are dealing right now.

First of all, accept your life as it is. Everyone has their own sets of troubles, issues, weakness, problems, etc..etc.... and it is the reality.
For you, the robotic life is the problem. For the outside world, it does look as a perfect life with a spouse, kid, settled life, etc..etc...But, you can't cheat your inner self that is yearning for love, romance, friendship, fun and respect....

I would have watched minnale movie a 100 times, and each time it reminds me of our lovely times as lovers before marriage. It still brings back the butterflies in my stomach.
But then, I happen to watch a tamil tele-serial where a husband stood by his wife against his entire family. That scene itself burnt my stomach, because my H didn't do that when I was made uncomfortable by his folks back then.

Similarly, I did not feel jealous by looking at my friend who visited Egypt last year. Because I visited Egypt last month and had posted more pictures in insta than my friend.
But I felt uneasy when I saw a post of my friend returning home. We both travelled together, but he was lucky to get leaves before me. It made me sad for sometimes until another problem came.

See... it is not the movie or social media that make us uncomfortable. It is our own problems and inabilities that kicks back when we see someone else is having it easier.

First of all, know your problems, work towards them or make up your mind to accept them as part of your life package.
Please know... everyone has problems, perhaps different problems than yours.

Now focus on what you have. Leave the rest

 

You had called it spade a spade!
Regards.

 

The point here is that Op is roused by the feeling of “missing” as & when exposed to media.. and that yearning peaking and prevented by huge distance and oceans.

Spouse & I shifted residence close to a place in the heart of the city to our son-in-law & daughter’ mansion. Daughter brought us here before pandemic. We missed our friends, cultural programmes and our participation, temple visits Pooja bhajan etc .

When over phone we learn from about these activities we are forced to realise what we are missing. But then would we be comfortable at our old age, if we continued to live in our own home their alone!

It looks that in life one has got to sacrifice what was cherished before to enjoy something new and better!

Local or Global this longing lingers.

 

Yes, because you are trying to be practical by camouflaging your inner needs & wants.
This can get triggered with a simple social media post of your friend.
But again, you are being practical; hence deactivate your social media account to stay away from the reality.
Looks like, you are comfortable in your own little world away from many people or their interactions.
Good for you!

But, how long can you do this? Like @Thyagarajan sir mentioned, accept the reality & face it with courage.

Because, you can't deactivate real life people that show romance or discuss India trip in front of you. Rather it is better, you accept them, yourself and both of your destiny & move on without being troubled.

Good luck.

PS. I know you have started this thread lightly in a funny way. But, it is not so fun to the readers who understand your background.

 

Trying to give you a different perspective here. Why don't you visit India when you can? Don't wait for the perfect time that suits the whole family. your family is not missing India, you are. Go for a week or 10 days, enjoy, and then focus on your life in India.

I have been doing this since 2020. Before 2020, we visited India every other year. It was a whole family affair. But, I didn't want to take the kids during the pandemic but wanted to spend time with my parents. I have been going for 7-8 days once or twice a year. The money we save on buying just one ticket instead of 4 allows me to buy a more expensive ticket whenever I want and more than once a year. It also allows me to take my parents to doctors and help them with whatever is needed and also allows me to catch up with friends for a day.

If I have 3 days off and I can ask someone to cover for my class it gives me a week off and off I go. My kids are now 9 and 6 and my husband can easily take care of them (wouldn't I be doing the same if he had to travel?).

Don't wait for the perfect moment, turn a moment into a perfect one!