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Mind Boggling

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Oct 21, 2010.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Mindboggling



    My dear Friend Subbu, sent me this mail today. Thanks a ton subbu.


    <TABLE class=MsoNormalTable style="WIDTH: 100%; mso-cellspacing: 0in; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 0in 0in" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TR style="mso-yfti-irow: 0"><TD style="BORDER-RIGHT: #ece9d8; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; BORDER-TOP: #ece9d8; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; BORDER-LEFT: #ece9d8; PADDING-TOP: 0in; BORDER-BOTTOM: #ece9d8; BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" colSpan=2>Taking the love for fine liquor to an unprecedented high, two whisky lovers have shelled out a whopping 2,00,000 pounds (nearly Rs 1.4 crore), for two bottles of famed Dalmore 64 Trinitas in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:smarttags" /><st1:City><st1:place>Glasgow</st1:place></st1:City>.
    <TR style="HEIGHT: 0.75pt; mso-yfti-irow: 1"><TD style="BORDER-RIGHT: #ece9d8; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; BORDER-TOP: #ece9d8; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; BORDER-LEFT: #ece9d8; PADDING-TOP: 0in; BORDER-BOTTOM: #ece9d8; HEIGHT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent">
    <TD style="BORDER-RIGHT: #ece9d8; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; BORDER-TOP: #ece9d8; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; BORDER-LEFT: #ece9d8; PADDING-TOP: 0in; BORDER-BOTTOM: #ece9d8; HEIGHT: 0.75pt; BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent">
    <TR style="mso-yfti-irow: 2; mso-yfti-lastrow: yes"><TD style="BORDER-RIGHT: #ece9d8; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; BORDER-TOP: #ece9d8; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; BORDER-LEFT: #ece9d8; PADDING-TOP: 0in; BORDER-BOTTOM: #ece9d8; BACKGROUND-COLOR: transparent" colSpan=2>The 64-year-old Trinitas, named because there were just three bottles produced, was acquired by a luxury whiskey lover in the <st1:country-region><st1:place>US</st1:place></st1:country-region> and a renowned whiskey investor in the <st1:country-region><st1:place>UK</st1:place></st1:country-region> for 1,00,000 pounds each.



    Sukhinder Singh, one of the world's leading whiskey specialists based in the <st1:country-region><st1:place>UK</st1:place></st1:country-region>, said he bought bottle number two because he knew it was a wise investment.
    "It is one of the most exclusive whiskies to have ever been released, and most importantly the whiskey is of amazing quality," he added.



    Friends I almost fainted. &0 lakhs for a bottle os whiskey eh ! What does it contain ? Finest malts and all that is fine, but the price ? Is he going to drink it ever ?


    I think it will remain forever in his shelf, even he wont have the guts to drink it. If I owned the bottle, I would just keep it in a special glass showcase, invite thepress, and charge 100/- per head, from people , and crowds who want to have a glimpse of it from far.


    But that would be expensive punlicity eh , yes I would get lots of it, but I think a lot of thieves, robbers, and income tax raids will follow ! And I will have to buy expensive Cars, change the upholsteriy of my home, to do justice to this Whiskey.


    My hands will shake if I take the bottle in my hand, I think I will get Parkinsons, fearing this bottle may fall down, and tuffy Bingo will get to drink this , instead of me in that case.HAHA


    And to those brave connessosiers who want to taste it, I may charge 1 lakh a baby spoon, and recover the cost and profit, and later if I get greedy, put it Black Label of 1500/- and charge the same, milking profits from Whiskey eh !


    And there is this case of 4 or 5 years back, when to create a record, 4 indians went for lunch to a <st1:City><st1:place>London</st1:place></st1:City> restaurant, and ordered the world’s most expensive lunch, which cost a mind boggling 1.50 crores , and they are in the Guiness Books !


    These 4 guys , I am sure, must not have gone to **** for a few days eh ! For if the food is so expensive, so must the **** be so precious, for it was after all formed from that food eh !


    And they would sing to their tummies, “ Abhi Nao jaoo Chode Ke, ke Dil Abhi Bhara Nahin !


    Who k nows they would call the media, and **** infront of them of that expensive food, and auction it, to recover some cost of the food eh ! They would order the most expensive constipation pills so that the waste remains inside them for longer, till they find a suitable buyer, and a suitable price !!!


    And the next heading could be, in the record books of the record price paid for this piece of **** eh !


    And Indians u will find with crazy stunts for records. There was this guy with the longest mustache, around 10 years back , in some part of Rajasthan, and the fellow’s head was cut and taken as trophy to <st1:country-region><st1:place>Pakistan</st1:place></st1:country-region>, swear no jokes. So in this case, these fellows must take care of their asses eh , so no one cuts and takes it with them ! Yech ! what a trophy that would be.


    And u have those crazy guys from <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region>, in the record books, with the longest nail, longest hair and all that.


    But I think the most expensive **** was of my Dog pomerian , called Naughty. On Diwali Day , my mom was here, many eyars back, she had put all the Gold Guineas in a silver bowl, among milk, it is supposed to be auspicious.


    Next morning, she sees the bowl on the floor and coins all here and there, and she suspected Naughty of having swallowed some Gold coins. She had not counted, so was not sure .


    She told me Kamal when u take him for a walk, stand and watch his ****, and take a stick and go, and go thru his ****, the coins will come out ?

    I was aghast, how can I in public, look in the **** ? For a few says I used to literally do it, but we still don’t know the mystery if he really swallowed the coins or not. But nothing came out of , his ****, and the whole exercise.


    If a few guineas had come out, I would have definetly called the press, but know my reputation they would have thought I have placed them deliberately, to get free publicity.


    From that day onwards, Mom now does not do this at Diwali, for Dogs will be Dogs eh, and I have refused to do this in the future.HAHA


    Whiskey intoxicates me, sure, but here just hearing about the price, I am intoxicated. And even if given free, I will never drink drop of it, for what if my throat begins to like it, how the @#$%^ will I be able to afford it in the future ?


    You want me to go with a begging bowl to everyone in the neighbour hood and beg for money to buy whiskey ?


    That would be another record in itself. HAHA


    What some people will do for getting in the record books ! I could create a new record, on the most number of views, by just sitting here and clicking on this blog and making the views go up to say a lakh eh ! Hmm, not a bad idea.



    Cheers, ladies and Gentlemen !


    KAMAL MAHTANI


    Written on a Girl’s T – Shirt –Red FM 98.3 Radio

    Guess what was written at the back of her Jeans ?


    It’s Hot ! Bajate Raho !!!




    Sardar’s wife was in a very , ahem, that mood the other night !

    She told her husband, do such thing today, that I sweat from every pore of my Body

    Sardar got up, and put off the Fan, and went to sleep !!!





    A Drunk Sardar farts in a bar. Man next to him says “ Excuse me, u have no decency .You farted before my wife”

    Sardar – I am very sorry, I did not know it was her turn





    Behind the Seat of a Bus Driver, this was written

    Agar Waheguru ne Chaha, to manzil tak Pahuncha Doonga

    Lekin agar ankh lagai gayi

    To ma kasam Waheguru se hi mila Doonga !!!





    4 Students, one of Harvard, <st1:place><st1:City>Oxford</st1:City>, <st1:State>Texas</st1:State></st1:place> and one Sardar of Punjab University
    they had to answer one common question

    Question – What is the fastest thing in the Word

    Answers

    <st1:City><st1:place>Oxford</st1:place></st1:City> student – Light
    Harward – thought
    <st1:State><st1:place>Texas</st1:place></st1:State> – Blink of an eye


    Sardar answered – Loose Motion !
    Because yesterday night, I was lying on my bed,and before I could Think, Blink, or put on the Light, it was all over !

    ==============================================================
     
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  2. kelly1966

    kelly1966 Platinum IL'ite

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    Kamalji....
    My hands will shake if I take the bottle in my hand, I think I will get Parkinsons, fearing this bottle may fall down, and tuffy Bingo will get to drink this , instead of me in that case.HAHA...
    these lines made me almost double with laughter... IMAGINE!!!... if that whiskey taster has dogs and the decide to do mischeif???...
    the post was toooo Good.....
    As usual after lunch.. a dose from Kamalji.. wakes you up
    K
     
  3. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    hahaha kamalji..all for a record? crazy people really !!!! you looking at tuffys **** everyday for gold coins had me LOL.
     
  4. Raba

    Raba Gold IL'ite

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    Is Naughty really naughty enough to make Kamalji searching its ****.
    :biglaugh:biglaugh:biglaugh

    I could not control imagining you digging it with stick :rotfl.. Oh no Kamalji.:spin

    Naughy over rode the whiskey part and the idea of collecting visitor fee:):)
    Too hilarious:cheers
     
  5. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dea r Kelly,

    Yes if he has dogs, they will got to lick that whiskey.HAHA

    Thanks kelly for opening the account here.
    Regards

    kamal
     
  6. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Mindi,

    mom came yesterday, after a year, and again it is diwali time and now i have two dogs, tuffy and Bingo.:biglaughLets see what happens this year.HAHA

    REgards

    kamal
     
  7. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Raba,

    Thanks for the great FB.

    Your google is still going on and on eh ! U are a superstar.Do write more.

    Regards

    kamal
     
  8. padma777

    padma777 Senior IL'ite

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    Nothing more to write here Kamalji, Nice article with laughing strokes in between. So just :rotfl
     
  9. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Padma,

    Thanks for being kind.

    This is a flop blog, it flopped on the other site too, thought i think it was pretty good.HAHA

    Some of the blogs that i think are lousy, do very well.

    Well some hits and some flops eh !

    thanks.kamal
     
  10. iswaryadevi

    iswaryadevi Platinum IL'ite

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    LOL!! Was laughing out loud reading your blog especially when thinking what people would have thought when they saw you searching naughty's **** hahaha...
     

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