MILs also come under peer pressure

Hi
I agree that Mil's are possesive about their son.But am not sure whether they act under peer pressure.But i can see one point ,There are preconceived notion and set of rules which a Dil is expected to follow.All IL in india expect thier DIL's to follow certain rules like a Dil should do all the work at home.Once the DIL comes home the MIL should rest.But it rarerly happens.Although MIL expects the Dil to do the whole work she cannot stop poking her nose ,because of the fear of losing her hold maybe.
The Dil should behave a particular way etc.i think these preconceived notions create all the problems.Now everybody cannot act according to our whims and fancies.They have thier own way of doing things.Now when these rules are broken they feel bad and label Dil as bad.Maybe These set of rules by our Indian society is what u call as Peer pressure.
priti

 

What are they insecure about?

This is the fault of the father-in-law. If a man is show proper love and affection to his wife and satisfying her sexually, she will be begging her son and daughter in law to go away on a vacation together just to get them out of the house so she can have time alone with her man!

I say it is all the fault of the old men who are not keeping their wives happy and hence an Indian mother thinks her son has to bring her happiness.

 

That's right...........all the drama is cos of tight insecure feeling in the mils dat thier son is going to go behind his wife for ever..and wud never look at his parents again...thts y they try to put into so many actions tht concern our patience in family life...but we gotta be strong to face the mania for sumtime till they regard them selves safe on the bond line........

 

Dear pushpa,

There are bad dil's and bad mil's. There are good dil's and good mil's. The same dil's who finds fault with her mil will support the same act of her mother towards her brother's wife. (I have seen.)

Yes. peer pressure is something found today everywhere. Yes it is not the 60's alone there were people who used to teach(?) the mil's even now there are people who first teach the mil how to treat the dil. poor mil would be willing to do nice things but the pressure....

in my experience, mil was always possessive. so instead of being possesive, i used to just say your son, (let me tell you, ungal pillai is a small word but it removes the insecurity out of her mind) ... so she understood, that i was good for her son and also for her... she just let me... in otherways ... the keys of the house were in my hand....Now and then , the moods used to swing after a relatives visit....but by then learnt to manage..

 

In words of my FIL... mathalathukku rendu pakkamum.....

 

Sorry, I do not agree with your view. When a dil enters a new house leaving her warm(mother's) home where she has been brought up with love and carefor atleast a minimum of 21 yrs(now-a-days even up to 25 or 26 yrs), it is like uprooting a plant and replanting it in a new environment. Naturally the plant needs time to adjust to new surroundings. She feels more insecure than the in-laws, surrounded by all new people with little in common and if the husband is mother-pecked then a worse situation for the newly wed dil.