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Mil With No Boundries

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Reena26, Mar 13, 2020.

  1. Reena26

    Reena26 Bronze IL'ite

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    Have any of you ever experienced a MIL with no Boundries? I grew up in a Western culture where there is a respect for limits and Boundries. My MIL however is from India. She has no filter. She does not know what to say and when to say it. When to talk and when not to. She has no concept of privacy and respect in relationships - keeping a gap. Because of that my husband and I have established Limits and Boundries. I don’t call her anymore. Because when I give her any news she tells all her relatives in India. She does the same thing regarding my son (her grandchild) Things like posting his pictures online. When my husband sends his pictures they put it on a family sharing page online. Am I being over sensitive? Is it just a cultural difference? It seems my husbands family just have a fascination with life in the USA and like to talk in detail. Maybe because there is more time to talk there and here time is money and we are constantly busy?
     
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  2. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Most of the Indian PILs do not know what is privacy or dont give a damn about it. Being grown up in India we ourselves(this generation DIL's) feel so annoyed because of the lack of privacy, So I can understand what you are going through.

    In that case do not share too many personal things with her. Have a word with your husband regarding this and ask him to convey the same to her.

    Yes its indeed a cultural difference. Since you are from western country you will definitely find lots of diferences and it definitely takes a lot of time for you to understand and adjust with Indian relatives.If your husband is understanding and is by your side do not worry much.
     
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  3. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    MIL ? hahaha... parents also share news about children and grandchildren with their friends.
    "here" and "there" is not the problem. It is individual personalities. When one lady pulls out a tiny album of pictures to show off, the other lady has to counter that with cuter pictures of her grandchild. It is just the way it is. We used to do it in person, now we do it online, and it is a lot easier and faster.

    Having free time (older, retired people), and having challenges to "share" from friends on facebook, whatsapp, etc.. makes the boundaries fuzzier. In all countries. Nothing special or particular for India grown people.

    If you are concerned about your private information or images are getting distributed on the internet, you'll have to assume that all information/images you share will leak into the internet, and behave with caution. Feed some information to sustain the relationship, to the extent you want to sustain the relationship, and keep the rest to yourself. Even if your parents and in-laws are in your own country, but they are active on social media on the internet.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
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  4. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Time is money is every part of the world and everyone is busy everywhere . Even western grandparents like to flaunt their kids pics, nothing to be upset about. Let them know or be careful about what you send or say. As simple as that.
     
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  5. Milaani001

    Milaani001 New IL'ite

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    Op, your mil is similar to mine...you never know what she will say and do.Indian pil are very poor in term of limits and boundaries.only thing you can do is not to share any personal stuff with her.

    Mostly Indian grand parents like to show off about their relation to kids and grand kids to other people they know.so please don't be upset about it....just be careful what you say or do. Moreover they have a lot of free time to do gossips ,take interest and interfere in others life.so be careful.good luck
     
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