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Mil Visiting Usa With Her Brother And His Wife

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by gknew, Feb 6, 2020.

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  1. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    If MIL’s bro has taken care of her few years ago, it doesn’t mean that the OP and her husband has to pay all the expenses for bro’s family.

    As expenses are in $$$$ it’s not that easy for a person who is a non immigrant to take care of 5 adults plus kids for months together. Ofcourse unless he is one of the top CEOs like Sunder Pichai or Satya Nadella!!!

    It’s really insane for the MIL’s bro’s family to burden OP and her DH to pay A-Z expenses and host months together.
    There are other ways for OP to reciprocate love and affection to the bro’s family.
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2020
    Needtobestrong, MalStrom and gknew like this.
  2. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Why should OP financially and mentally burden themselves when OP is not comfortable in hosting them due to various reasons.
    MILs mother was bedridden not MIL.

    Ofcourse it’s son’s duty to take care of mother’s expenses but not mothers brothers family.
     
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  3. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks!!
    What does it mean that it doesn't cover pre existing conditions? I don't know anything about the traveller insurance.
     
  4. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks @Rihana.
    So, how much does it cost for us?
    And if they don't cover the preexisting conditions, how will it be helpful for us? They might have some ongoing health issues.
     
  5. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

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    Yeah. They have pension benefits. But they will not do it. They don't even ask if we need any money. It's expected that we have to spend money. Also, they will say it's all online and we don't know how to do and pay. It's accepted that they can't do everything online.
    But they will not even ask if we can afford. DH will also won't ask money even if we need it. We have to adjust in my family expenses. Even for his grandma's hospital expenses, mil paid some money and dh sent the remaining money for hospital bills. I didn't even ask anything to dh. Because his grandma only bring him up from childhood since his mom was working, so I let him to do anything he wants.
     
  6. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks for the reply!!
    All these fun facts really not gonna happen here. Even my kid doesn't have a great summer last year when we were there.
    They all are always talk about the old age, like when they were young and this is not possible. Now we have machine for this and that. My kid will not be able to understand and relate to it.
    And they themselves told me that they don't know how to spend time with kid and make it not so boring.
    And coming to the cooking part, I have to cook for them. I used to cook all the meals when I go to India too. So, the same is expected. Mil used to cook initially, but now she says that we are not eating any spice foods. She adds more spice. So it's better you cook in your style.she won't eat much too and ask my dh how do you eat these:)?
    So no household help is expected. Because I know how it will be. I have to read more about the insurance stuff. I think we need that. Mil bro wife is a nurse. So she will understand about insurance.
    Mil doesn't like doctors at all. Anyways criticise doctors. When we were in India, we struggled a lot to take get to a medical checkup. She was not at all interested to come and passing so much comments due everything there. So, it will be very difficult here if she is sick.
     
  7. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    They should have a thorough medical exam and carry a list of all prescriptions and common medicines for the duration of their stay. The travel insurance will not cover everything. Pick wisely.
     
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  8. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    They are family members, not paid helpers. They are not owed tickets to the US for taking care of their own sister.
     
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  9. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Good question. My parents always insist on paying for their own tickets to come to the US. Once they are here we pay for all their travels and expenses within the country. It’s not that we would refuse to pay and we always offer but they feel better this way. In cases where the parents are unable to then it is understandable. We have some friends whose parents and in-laws rotate every 6 months for childcare and in that case it is perfectly okay.
     
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  10. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    This.
    I wonder if op's mil and uncle even know how much money is involved .
    May be they just do not know .

    This.
    The mil's mother was also the mother of her brother ...who is the uncle here.
    Why does op 's husband have to pay back for him taking care of his( uncles) own mother.

    Op's mil was staying with the mother and responsible for her for many years.
     
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