1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Mil Visiting Usa With Her Brother And His Wife

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by gknew, Feb 6, 2020.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    329
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi,
    Its just a vent. Married for 9 years and ours is a love marriage. Fil passed away an year before the wedding. No issues with the MIL. I just have maintained a good relationship with my Mil. She was living with her mom. Her mom passed away few weeks ago. And her brother's family is living next to them.
    My mil is retired from a central govt job this month. Her brother and his wife also getting retired next month.
    My mil is a type where she always find mistakes in everything. It's very difficult to satisfy her. Even when i was in Bangalore, we invite her many times. She used to come and stay for 2 or 3 days and go back. She don't like staying there and always says that this city is not good. Even if I take her to shop or restaurant, she will say something and make that situation so embarrassing. I won't talk back much and just adjust to that situation.
    So she is feeling like a control over me.
    Now, we didn't invite her yet to the USA. Since she was working and she was with her mom.Her mom was very healthy and helpful to my MIL after she go to work. MIl's mom used to do household work. Last few months she(mil mom) was bedridden and her brother family took care of her.
    Now all 3 are retiring, they are planning to come to USA. Her brother is like very orthodox and not accept any modern things. Today my parents met them. They told like, they are taking passports(only my mil has passport) and planning to go to USA in the summer. My parents also doesn't have passport.
    They didn't talk to us about this. They themselves planning this. DH is a gem person who won't talk back much to his family. So when I told him that my parents said your family is planning to come to US, he is happy about it. Even I am ok and not a cruel person here. Only concern is, it's very Difficult to satisfy them here and they will make me feel like, I am living a very bad life here. Why we should come so far to live this life. They will make the situation like that. They did that when I was in Bangalore. They don't even like not even one thing there.
    Did any of your relatives from India visited you in USA? How do you handle that?
     
    Loading...

  2. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    552
    Likes Received:
    713
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    If they are coming for a short visit, I say just let it go. Try to be nice, but do not let them insult you. They could have a nice visit and go back. Talk with your husband on your concerns. you shouldn't be the only one who is worried about this.
     
    gknew likes this.
  3. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    329
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    They are planning for 2 to 3 months. And dh has to pay got visa and ticket. I have to think about the finance too. I don't know if we can afford that right now.
     
    Angela123 likes this.
  4. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    329
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    Yeah..insulting is the main concern here. I don't know how to handle it appropriately. Have to learn to talk back. And they always criticises my parenting skills and always compare my kid with other kids in the relatives circle.
     
    Angela123 likes this.
  5. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    552
    Likes Received:
    713
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Will you have to pay for all the three tickets? And how about their expenses when they are here? I meant not the grocery and such, but I am sure they are planning to travel for sight seeing. See what your husband has to say. Also, I guess you will need travel insurance, that adds to the expenses.

    Not everyone can afford all these even if H&W are working. A detailed discussion with your husband might be helpful in this scenario.
     
    gknew likes this.
  6. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,177
    Likes Received:
    1,419
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    This is not a big problem. 2-3 months visit should be bearable. Tickets and visa expense leave it to husband.
     
    gknew likes this.
  7. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    329
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    Yeah. We have to pay for the tickets. Also they will be very interested to see many places here. So it's gonna be our expense.
    Oh!! Yeah. I didn't think about travel insurance is that must?
     
    Angela123 likes this.
  8. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    329
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    My kids summer break gonna be ruined I think. I was planning to put him in swimming class this summer. If my Mil and her brother is here, they will say a big no. My mil is against all these. She said once that, don't let kids to get into the pool and play. I told them thats the reason we have to learn swimming. She is not accepting it. She thinks that we are forcing on our kid. He is 6+ now.
     
    Angela123 likes this.
  9. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    552
    Likes Received:
    713
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    It is safe to have some insurance. If you have to go to the hospital and you do not have any insurance, it can be very expensive. Also, keep in mind, when people come from India, they are used to got to the doctor all the time. It is very risky not to ave insurance IMO when they are visiting for more than a month. But if they are very healthy, they might not need it at all here.
     
    SinghManisha and gknew like this.
  10. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    329
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    I think I have to get the insurance too.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page