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Mil Tantrums

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by cutepoojitha, Mar 11, 2022.

  1. cutepoojitha

    cutepoojitha Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    It's just a vent post about MIL, I am a full time working mom with a elementary school and toddler kid working full time in USA with busy work schedule
    Before I start the thread I am a certified cook, nutrition and yoga certified
    So I m very particular about what goes into plate and diet
    My inlaws visit us frequently and for them food means carbohydrates, white food with sugar, they are healthy and they eat only carbs

    She wants kids also to eat carbs because as per her they digest easily, if I say carbs it should be white rice, white flour, white sugar and any thing made of polished grains. Vegetables also she has 2-3 in list that should be eaten , snacks should be deep fried every single day. If I give som veggies to us or kids she keeps red face with tons of anger, I could clearly sense and she says you give some nonsense to kids let me fry some vadas

    You should always give food that kids love not vegetables they r not tasty per her, I told my husband couple of times he told to have my kids veggies then she got offended and started shouting


    I understand they are accoustomed to full carbs meals, for me breakfast should be with millet dosa/whole grain pan cakes/any whole grain for her polished flakes

    She is not listening ,I just don't want to fight all the time, she fights with my husband too, I am totally ok if they eat what they want but constantly pointing our diet gives wrong impression to kids that white food is best food


    I told her I m not involving in your food habits, I know they have poor eating habits but I don't involve, but she constantly nags before our friends that we avoid sugar and white food

    Most of our friends know we are gluten free but there is no point in nagging 24x7

    My husband eat what I cook(healthy meal) but she nags all the time and says that his life is getting ruined with the food he is eating

    She is planning every single day with fried food and forcing us and we are caught up

    I don't know how to deal this, my kiddos she almost spoiled them, I feel so frustrated but just bearing her tantrums

    Being a certified professional by myself I feel very sick by her meal planning and I m trying to make whole grain foods at the cost of her peace

    Kids are out of control for now I don't know it takes time to change after they leave how to deal with this
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Is there any way you can limit their visits?
    If not try to get your husband on the same page and just be firm. If MIL shouts or pouts let her go for it. You need 2 hands to clap. Continue making your meals and ask her to prepare one item per meal that your kids can eat. You can also try to let her have one occasion per day like snack time, where she can feed your kids. If they are eating a healthy diet at other times then you can relax a little, as long as she’s not loading them too much with sugar.
    If attempts to be reasonable don’t work then see if you can pull other cards. One of my friends is careful about what she gives her kids and she always puts everything on the pediatrician when her mom or MIL question. Her kids have “intolerances/allergies” to a large number of foods she doesn’t want anyone to feed them.
    Ask your husband to have a serious conversation with her, though. She needs to understand that this is important to your family.
     
    Dishaa and Rihana like this.
  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    It must be quite annoying and draining to go through this food and cooking drama after a long work day and with kids so young. I can't even imagine how mad I would be if my authority over my kids' nutrition was thus questioned daily.

    MalStrom has some solid suggestions to make life a little easier. In addition, to provide your MIL an outlet, start a catering service. : ) Seriously ... there will be people willing to pay for what she cooks, carbs and all. : )
     
  4. cutepoojitha

    cutepoojitha Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you Malstorm and Rihanna

    I can't put on peadratician because she thinks she know more than any one

    As I said I myself is a certified nutritionist and yoga coach, she sees me as nothing before her knowledge , I am not saying I am great, but at least I know the theory of how food works on body

    Any way I had discussion with my husband , he is ok with us eating what we are eating now( my kind of food) and give an option for inlaws to cook their own food of their choice

    Kids we will keep neutral for now at least I am packing lunch for my boy

    We both work in two different timezones to match with kid schedules and to attend baby needs

    According to me I can't invest my energy in convincing some one all the day when I already have 1000 things in my plate

    The energy I get from my holistic life style i want to invest wisely

    Thank you friends yesterday I was super stressed today feel little better
     
    Dishaa likes this.
  5. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    This is the attitude of most MIL. Tell her if your kids ate her diet they will get childhood diabetes and show her the stats. You DH needs to step up and control his mom once and for all
     

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