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Mil lashes out in front of everyone

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by easygoing, Dec 17, 2012.

  1. poojachinoy

    poojachinoy Gold IL'ite

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    @reshsabu,

    why didnt you help yourself when she or anyone else refused to offer you?....i admire your patience and guts in dealing with such people...anyways,it worked out great for you now that you dont have to cook for them at alll :)
     
  2. easygoing

    easygoing Bronze IL'ite

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    SILs tummy ache drama started way before my headache...actually SIL was quiet cool,laughing and having fun but mil made sure everyone's attention was grabbed by enquiring about her pain when she herself did not mind...
    It's like she was just sitting in the van, and mil goes, shall I get room keys for you to goto restroom,we can ask the van to go back to hotel....she was like no am fine....then mil starts, exactly where in left part does it pain? She says it's mild only...mil goes again....it's food poison, let me ask van to stop and so on....I agree sil had some stomach ache but not to the extent that mil presented it....and when mil saw me , her concern became even more....again started asking same set of questions.....I never reacted to any of it coz sil herself was ok with it !
    After 2 hours or so my headache started coz we din't have lunch yet coz of this drama between mil and sil....they delayed everything and dint care about anyone's lunch..it was 3 pm already ! 1 hour into the drive my headache gets to peak...DH asks me if I need medicine,or something to eat...mil laughs and plays with her daughters children...fil asks his son about my headache loudly...mil doesn't even look back, and fights with her husband asking him, is headache more painful than stomach ache? Everyone heard that in the van ! It was clear she din't like her husband asking about my headache....in hotel,we al get down from van...mil reacts as if I don't exist there...not that I cared...but after coming back from lunch,she says her son(my DH) did not ask her if she ate well.....but I dint have a single piece of anything and DH was concerned about it and was sitting next to me....but mil it seems felt bad DH did not ask her how she ate !!! I was quiet for everything that the lady did...but what pissed me was...her compelling my DH (who had decided not to goto temple ) to visit the temple at any cost ! It was clear she was bent on showing me she doesn't care about my headache....she made the driver stop the van and wait even after everyone came back from temple to again put pressure on DH ! It was not our family deity temple that she had to pressurize so much for nothing....it was just 1 of the many temples that we have been visiting for the past few days....anyway my DH dint go even then...aft 2 hours of me sleeping in the back seat..I got up feeling better and asked for a cup of coffee to DH....he asked driver to stop van near a coffee shop on the way....after few minutes, my dad and my Jiju also told the driver to stop at any nearby coffee shop since I had not taken lunch and time was 6 pm....at that point.my mil told the driver not to stop anywhere and go straight to the destination...my Jiju felt bad and he went and told my mil directly to stop the van for a coffee break...after this incident I was pissed coz after 3 people shouting to stop for a coffee, this lady asks the driver to go ahead !!! How rude ?
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2012
  3. GodIsOne

    GodIsOne Gold IL'ite

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    She definitely is outright rude. It is not easy to put it all aside and carry on like nothing happened but at the same time you have such a wonderful life (minus MIL) and why waste it thinking about her and all that happened? This is what you MIL ultimately wanted and she is now getting what she wanted. So don't give it to her. Show her you are happy and that is the best revenge...lol..

    Move on and have fun. It is the holiday season. Cheers
     
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  4. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    We completely get that diva.......the point is cut others the same slack.
    With SIL having a tummy ache and MIL helping her .....being told that after hours of a cramped journey in van her son cant visit the temple cos he needs to baby sit his wife ..MIL is going to be cranky as well...esp after u rub her the wrong side.
    Accept that mistakes happen ...put things behind you and move on.
     
  5. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Easygoing... you guys are even. You thought your SIL/MIL played a drama of tummy ache to get everyone's attention and you MIL in turn thought your headache to be a drama too, to keep your husband by your side!!!

    In any case, you had hubby by your side then and now, back in the US, you have hubby all to yourself. So chill.
     
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  6. swt.charu

    swt.charu Platinum IL'ite

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    Thats too very funny...your MIL is less than a child...

    and this is way too rude... to the point of being a not acceptable behaviour...

    I now get where you are coming from....

    Easygoing... you need to be tactful in handling such fools...tha only way you can beat this lady is by being extra cheerful...pretend as if you are the happiest person on the earth... in spite of everythig...

    whatever happend on that day... I am sure of one thing... you MIL achieved what she wanted to achieve and YOU put it on a platter and gifted her the glory she wanted...

    Rather you should have handled your head ache and told them indirectly that your are too young to be bogged down by any ailment... you should have hinted indirectly that MILs drama is funny and made everyone realise it..
     
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  7. blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Easy going,

    I can completely understand your feelings when you had a terrible head ache and your MIL totally ignoring it..
    when she was fully involved in taking care of her daughter's sickness at least just a few kind words about inquiring about your health is what you asked for... after all you are also a part of her family.. she need not sit with you to take care but she pretended not to notice you and even felt jealous that your DH is taking care of you.. this shows her typical MIL attitude...

    Once during my 3rd month of pregnancy I was in my parents house and I had severe nausea and morning sickness that I fainted at home and had to be hospitalized for 3 days, my Dad personally visited my In laws home and told them about my condition.. you wont believe if I say that my MIL didn't even react nor showed any concern, she neither called my Mom to ask about me nor inquired about it when I came back home.
    So this is their attitude.. we should understand some terms like " we cannot force any one to love us or shower some affection on us" Just let go this horrifying incident and enjoy your life now
     
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