Mil lashes out in front of everyone

easygoing · Dec 17, 2012

Recently been to India for my in laws 60th wedding Anniversary and baby's 1 st birthday...All was fine until the day of my baby's 1st hair offering ceremony..my parents,sisters family,in laws and sister in law,her husband all were travelling in a van after a hectic temple visit in afternoon...I had a very horrible headache...my sister in law had stomach ache( if she really had one)... My mil completely ignored me as if I was not in the van and was looking after her daughter all way through...asking to stop van for getting medicine, to wait near a bathroom etc ..it was 4 pm and all of us were without lunch....my headache got into peak and I started vomiting...my mil still reacted as if I never existed...finally we reached a hotel...me and my DH sat in a table...I was in no position to have food and just laid down on the table ....my mil was with her daughter in a different table.....ignoring me completely....me and my hubby went to bathroom a couple times for my vomiting....while coming back we passed through mils table...but she dint even look back...everyone had food except me and we all Got back to van....my mil asked everyone to visit another temple...all went except my DH who said he can't leave me alone in van...my mil forced him to come to temple many times, he got pissed and said he won't come....3 hours passed mil was in the same angry mood(god knows for what) laughing and playing with her daughters children...while i was suffering in pain...My dad asked van driver to stop for a cup of coffee for me since I had no food from morning....at that point my mil came to me and asked how is my headache....I was pissed coz she forcefully asked my DH to leave me alone in van and come to temple...so I asked her does she know that I have headache only now? For this 1 question, she shouted at me,my mom and dad for the next 1 hour in the van in front of everyone...cursing me,blaming me,lying about things I never did etc....her daughter and son in law were silent spectators...my fil who always supports his wife said that I have no respect for elders etc....it became so nasty....she then blamed my DH saying he dint ask if my mil had proper food at the hotel( where i was sleeping on table with just DH with me) .....she indirectly said things about her daughters mil( according to my mil her daughters mil is very bad) .... She said there can be no mil like her in this world indirectly refering to her son in laws mother( he was just silently sitting with no reaction).... Mil then said if son is with dil mothers will feel jealous,but if son in laws are with daughters mothers feel happy...so i felt bad when m son was with you during your headache !!! What crap???she says this in front of her own son in law?..... next day we all Reached home from trip and started to airport for leaving to US back again...no one had any mood to talk to each other after that nasty shouting episode from my mil...I just dint talk about it any further and escaped from that hell....
We spent so much money,effort , time on in laws function and at the end she just blatantly insulted us in front of everyone...though I will have bitter memories of this trip after all the efforts we undertook...Iam not sure what my sister in laws husband will think of me...I have tried to go out of my way to make everyone happy during this trip and been extra nice to in laws...but my mil and her big mouth just shattered my name from everyone's good books..don't know if everyone will understand my mils true colors or just think that Iam a bad DIL !! I feel bad for my parents too who also got bad scoldings from my big mouthed mil...I don't wish to talk to that ,lady anymore but it will create more problems....coz my mil loves fighting with me....how should I react henceforth with her? She has to understand that she needs to grow up and I need to send the message clearly that am hurt....

GodIsOne · Dec 17, 2012

Well...You should have just answered her question instead of asking her whether it was only then that she noticed that you had an head ache.

I am sure you were pissed off but then answers like this will only complicate things. I am not saying that you are at fault but then you could have avoided the entire episode.

easygoing · Dec 17, 2012

What you say is true...but on the other hand I hope now my sister in law and her hubby will understand the true colors and intensions of my mil..I agree I was at fault pointing out my mils mistake but whatever she uttered for the next 1 hour would have given everyone a glimpse of her true nature !!

vaali · Dec 17, 2012

Dear OP only seems to be proud of something she did & trying to defend it by every means.. wasting my previous few mins REGRETTED. So post deleted! thanks anyway!!

easygoing · Dec 17, 2012

I didn't expect her to ask me if I had headache...but she was insisting that my DH leave me alone and visit some temple after we already spent a lot of time in another temple just before that....it was her intent to let me suffer that pissed me....her big mouth was exposed eventually....

Anitap · Dec 17, 2012

If someone wants you to suffer, don't show them that you are suffering.

rose8282 · Dec 17, 2012

You wasted your time getting jealous of your MIL's attention on her daughter and that only your husband was with you. What about your own parents?No mention of their care at all. You seem to be worrying more about unnecessary and petty things in the world and forget to appreciate the love you have. This is the mistake most human beings make....learn to count your blessings.

Deepika01 · Dec 17, 2012

Every Mil is like that .. so dont worry just chill...yeh sab tention lena ekdum waste hai.. you have her son by your side and he was with you when evryone was gone....yaar understand life kee sabse badee khushee aapke pass hai...then why are you worried...when your MIL puts you down dont backfire just listen and answer and dont spoil your mood coz thats what she wants...You should always dress up nicely your child should be neat and tidy..and kid should have best of manners and your husband growing in life...this is your true investment...when you do this others will say that she is best your MIL might not say .. but she will know it...and best part is when you will be happy she will annoyed.....so be happy and annoy her...

aamrapali · Dec 17, 2012

After reading your post - my first reaction was "wow" - no offense, but your MILs behavior was almost amusing. If I were you, and this is a freak occurrence, I would just "shrug it off as some very angry human being's rant". Something clearly tipped her balance off and it may not even be you. The last thing I would worry about is what others would think about you. I think the reason everyone was quiet in the van is for the exact same reason: "No one was taking her seriously and just shrugged it off as some out-of-control person's prolonged rant". I am surprised, though, that none of the other elders got irritated with her. It is a pretty bad situation to be "trapped" in a moving vehicle with someone like that. I wish someone bought her a cold drink or something to just let her take a deep breath and cool off. Someone should have done that for everyone else's sake even if not for hers. Not a good thing to even expose the kids to this melodrama. More or less attention seeking behavior and giving her attention would have made her quieten down. The quieter and less responsive her audience was, the greater the drama, the deeper the dialogue delivery, and higher the pitch.

Aamrapali

lukywife · Dec 18, 2012

Why do you expect your name to be in good books of others. What others think about you is none of your business. If I were you, I would never talk with my mil until she asks sorry. I wonder what your husband was doing when your mil shouted at you and your parents. And one piece of advise. Dont try to please everyone. If someone thinks bad about you, thats their problem. Dont try to impress all by losing your esteem.