mil is most insecure person alive...

I think, especially if this is your mil's first grandchild, she'll feel like wanting to protect her from everything.

But probably over time as she spends more time careing for your DD, and see's for herself that DD is not going to fall apart or break from every sneeze or sniffle, she will relax a little bit. It's funny... you sound like the seasoned pro and she sounds like the clueless new parent! :rotfl

Just stay calm and assure her that your DD is fine. Remind her that even her DS (your hubby) would have probably done the same things back when he was a baby. Your baby is only two months old... I think in a few more months things will settle down and she will start to be seen as just another part of the family. Until then, obviously everyone will get hyped up and ooooo and ahhh at everything she does. Just relax, and take this opportunity to show your mil and dh what a cool and condident mom you are.

Best wishes for you and baby! :thumbsup

 

Your post brought me 10yr back memories. Thanks.
Now, elder dd is 10yrs old. She is the first grandchild in my Parents side.
My mom was like that....like your MIL now.

She would never allow baby to cry.
If the baby drinks anything less than an ounce of milk she would say "You need take her to the doc since today she did not drink milk well". As if there was some measured amount which she HAD to drink.
Some days if the weather was cold and dd would sleep more than 2 hrs mom would be like "Check her, why is she sleeping so much?" I would say, "Mom, the weather is like that and she is so cosy and warm, who would want to get up?" Mom will not stop there, she will go and put her finger near dd's nose to see if she is breathing!!:bonk

Jhalli, there are so many incidents like that it is not possible for me to put all here. Now, my dd is 10 and when I tell her about her grandma when we go for visits, she laughs and gives a big hug to her grandma and say "Grand ma you love me so much, I love you too"!!!!:kiss

Little does she know my condition then......:-(


The latest incident was, DD's class was all going for science/nature study tour for 2 days. I told mom when I called. Her immediate question was " You go with her too. Don't leave the child alone like that".
I told "Mom, I am not allowed to, and don't worry teachers are there to take care and she is 10 yrs old, not a toddler".
Mom said " Do as I say, Tell the teacher you need to be there too".
I said " Why?"
Mom's anxiety was " How will she manage to take a shower on her own, go to potty on her own and moreover who will feed her?"

I was like "MOM, COME ONE NOW! This is too much, She is 10, and now for goodness sake STOP IT, You are driving me crazy".:bang

Mom thinks I still give my dd shower, dress her up and feed her just like how you do to babies because her memories of dd are 10yrs back ones.

So, Jhalli, just do what you think is right for baby and take it cool. In this whole scenario atleast one person should maintain COOL and SANITY!! JMO!!


Meena

 

You are right, Jhalli that it is MIL in your case which calls for more tact.

My sister's MIL is of that kind who believe that healthy child is one who is in fact fat.
Fat according to us but healthy for her. You can easily make out looking at the child's activities if the child is healthy or not. A healthy child though is slim is active unlike overweight child who struggles to pull themselves up if they sit on the floor. But she clearly disagrees.....why? Because she and her children even my sister's husband are all over weight. My sister had problems conceiving because the doc said the sperms are not healthy and for that her husband has to physically active and lose weight. He has taken up yoga and is doing good and finally sister conceived. When the baby was around 10 months old and started eating solids her MIL would make all fatty foods and say it is healthy and will make the baby look cute. My sister actually was pissed off so much. Ghee, ghee, butter ,butter in everything. If the baby was cranky and did not eat much my sister would pacify him and put him to bed. She would try giving him food but if he refuses she would not bother. Her MIL would call that bad mothering. She would run behind with food. All this actually made my sister so irritated that one day she went to pediatrician and told him. He said OK tomorrow bring your MIL and husband to me. Tell your hubby that there was a call from my office and I need to brief him about immunizations and some general tips for baby care. Next day all three, sister, mil and hubby went. The doctor lectured them for 20 mins and in that only 2 mins about immunization and the rest was all my sister's concerns.

But do you think the MIL agreed to all that?? On the way back she said they need to change the doctor as this one will spoil the baby's health if you follow him. My sister stuck to him. Finally, my sister had to tell "Amma, we are not doctors so we need to follow whatever he says. He is very popular doctor around and if the baby is not well and I go to him he will ask me if I am doing as he said. And I cannot lie then. So, just leave the baby's care to me and you take care of other things".

There is still lot of grumbling from her MIL but atleast my sister uses doctor's words as the only weapon to ward off her MIL whenever she gets on her nerves.

Hope this helps. Try going from the doctors side. Lot of time if we say "yeah, you may be right but the doctor told me to do like this" may help.


Meena

 

Might be as ASG said..

This behaviour is because your daughter might have been the first grand kid...so extra love..extra attention...

Dont worry about how your daughter will be when you go to work...when she is 2 or 3 yrs old...you would join her in preschool right??? so slowly she would understand what is and what is not acceptable....As she is an infant now...all the grand parents would be extra attentive to them...Even my mom says that until the kid is 6 to 8 months old..its very very delicate etc..etc..so dont worry and dont pay attention to your MILs words..look at it in a positive way..that they care for your daughter so much....take care of yourself...

 

J.. congrats for ur first baby.
My MIL was also same... I would get bothered with those extra pamperous comments & rushings to not to let the baby strengthen their lungs or test their vocal cords.

Oldies dont change & esp u cant tell anything to MILs... don't worry soon u'll get used to it. .also when u start ur work.. u'll hear some more .. anyhow there'll be no energy to hoard any as u'll be rushing everywhere.. hence its a matter of time.

Be patient all the time in front of her & if u find something really bothering then just mention it to ur DH that she shud refrain from speaking that & keep a punching bag at home.. which u can express ur anger on.