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MIL is cursing me and my paraets

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by SmilingGirl02, Nov 21, 2015.

  1. SmilingGirl02

    SmilingGirl02 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi every one,


    My background, I am in USA from 6 yrs, married from 8 yrs.I m working as software Engineer. My MIL made my 1st year of married life very worst.Even my husband feels bad now his did to me in 1st year.Then we shifted in USA.I started my job here also.
    My MIL is coming every year here as she is staying alone there in India.Only last year, I called my parents as I wanted to show them USA.As usual my MIL doesn't like it.My MIL doesn't like single thing I did for my parents.When i called my parents here, she fought many time with my husband saying not to call them and waste money.Even she said bad words to my parents.
    Now again she is here from last 5 months.. she is cursing me and my parents saying "May god do bad things to your parents.May their son may not take care them .God should make you and your brother fight.God should break my relation my brother". If I talked or argued then again she talks worst bad words.
    Nothing help, what ever I talk she talks more bad.Last time when this happen, I just said to her "Thanks for you blessing for me."
    She always thinks that I behaves badly with her as I don't listen to her all commends and I talk minimum to her.
    Because her bad thinking, I don't feel like talking to her.But do care for her.So did many good things for her which she doesn't count.
    Also biggest issue is her comparison.She will compare me with every one in all around world.And tells me "how they do good things, I don't do it. How bad I am and how good they are."
    She covered all daughter,daughter in law, neighbor, friends, cousins from my side and husband side for comparison with me.Even though entire relatives are saying bad words about few daughter in law , My MIL
    will say "see how good she is and how bad you are".

    Now I am very much depressed with her words(cursing) for my parents.My husband wants me to forget things fast and behave normally with her, which is very hard for me. Ladies, it is easy to forget those cursing?
     
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  2. Lakshmipav

    Lakshmipav Silver IL'ite

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    It's hard to go through all this .. U r working then why not ur parents can come when she can come n stay I don't understand ..

    Any way keep quite be happy with your hubby .. Do u have kids ..? That way u can divert ur self by concentrating on them ..

    Baba said if one curses us we should thank them for cleaning our sins with their tongue..

    i say this whenever DH speaks some bad words ( happens in every family ) thanking him that some of my sins which I made in my past life got erased ..

    but dont get depressed discuss it with ur hubby she can't do this always with you ur her family member she need to respect u ..

    tell her clearly mil if some says same to ur daughter how do u take it am I not like ur daughter ..?
     
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  3. Jas8085

    Jas8085 Gold IL'ite

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    If my mil said all this, Id handle it head on. Once and for all

    "All that you curse me will come back 100 times to you"
     
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  4. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    If she talks respectfully you be respectful back. If not you withdraw. Don't be disrespectful but be dismissive. Do not even try to do anything nice beyond the very bare minimum. If she talks ill, simply look at her and state, "you are being rude." And walk away. Do not listen to her. Wear earphones if required. Tell your husband that it affects your head to have such a negative influence in your life and he can do nice things for her if she is nice to him. Unless you get respect you aren't about to give her any attention. Good luck. I sincerely hope karma comes and bites her in the back!
     
  5. SmilingGirl02

    SmilingGirl02 Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks for reply. According them MIL, whatever we do for her and for husband's relative is our responsibility.but whatever we do for my parents are wasting. Thanks for putting baba's words here.it helped me a lot.
     
  6. Nandhu25

    Nandhu25 Senior IL'ite

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    In my case, my FIL will say something negative about my mom and will make fun about my mom, but he expects me to laugh at him and engourage him.

    How can they expect these things, i dont understand.

    i was treating them as my parents till last month. when they did this i stopped loving them.

    My mom also a human like them only. if she gave birth to girl, then she became a joker infront of them. is it so?
     
    nakshatra1 and SmilingGirl02 like this.
  7. SmilingGirl02

    SmilingGirl02 Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks everyone for reply.it means lot to me.
    Also one other big issue is comparison.
    Every day she talks to me like "that dauther in law is so nice.she did this for her mil.u never did that." where ever she go, she will come up with new things to compare.and show me how bad I m.If she went to my sister's home, she will say "ur sister is really very good than u.how respectfully she treats her Mil"
    But my sister has her own issues with mil too.Her mil understand that relationship need space..so my sister has quite good relationship with her mil.but my sister and her mil has other issue too.my sister discussed many times with me so I know.
    But my mil behave like child and do compare.I m fade up all this now comparison. Want some permanent solution for this.so I always try to avoid her.and talk very less to her ...she is making issue for less talking too...
     

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