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Mil intervention to such an extent! Is it normal ....?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Meera0500, Nov 4, 2012.

  1. Meera0500

    Meera0500 New IL'ite

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    I hv just celebrated my 1st anniv and 28 th birthday, and one question is hovering from every whr when we will be giving good news? Me n Dh had plans not to have baby for a year as to kno each other n enjoy 1st year and definitely planning for it in coming year but me feels so much under pressure with lecturing from in laws frequently, sp Mil n Sil
    In that have heard my close friend's experience wonder I may to go thr it later if it doesn't happen soon...
    My 26 yr old friend' s marriage is jus 4 -5months old n and Her MIL had already started pestering on the same ..the question to her when are you giving good news has
    Now progressed to are u taking pills, if yes pls stop, who is taking precaution do you want me to take gynaec appt If work is creating stress then pls leave job n all that! When she expressed her uneasiness on such interrogations a call went straight to her mom to make her understand also comparing with Sil and
    co-sis that had kid before 1st anniv...
    I am worried due to this as in recent function both My her Mil turned out to be new friends and this has become their fresh topic of discussion to torture us..
    I m nt sure how will I face such interrogation n interference if happens to me with her influence on my Mil .. Her attitude towards me has already started showing change signs..Is such intervention normal ladies? :bonk
    I find this issue too personal for couple to further question and also wonder why don't they bug ther sons on this as its a couple nt individual issue... Dh says just ignore...
    Please give us tips to handle... I am already having sleepless nights..every month while ttc will be tension imagining her eyes are watching me...:hide:
     
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  2. anmolhai

    anmolhai Platinum IL'ite

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    Well thats just the nature of mils :) you can tell her that you & dh have decided to wait another year before trying and any further question shd be towards him. All the best.
     
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  3. tulipzz

    tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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    Mine started 2 months after we got married....I conceived the next month accidentally....lol!
     
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  4. jumpingjax

    jumpingjax Bronze IL'ite

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    by 1st annv. my ILs asked my DH why i wasnt pregnant yet! my dh and i had already decided to wait until both of us felt ready for the challenge - we enjoyed our time together and waited over 4 years during which we fielded many inquiries into our 'status' by merely shrugging them off. When I did get pregnant (by choice), it was a decision made solely by the two of us as WE felt we were ready and wanted to welcome a child in our lives. Personally I feel this is a very personal decision, probably more so with me as I dont have much of a support system here, but I think this is something that only husband and wife can decide when THEY want to have a child - not when everyone else thinks they should have a child.
     
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  5. reshsabu

    reshsabu Gold IL'ite

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    Dear OP,

    That what a lot of MILs do - making their DIL's life difficult the sole purpose of their life.
    1. 1st they start asking for baby from month1 of your marriage so that you dont enjoy a carefree "honey moon".
    2. 2nd when the baby is finally there, they just keep finding faults with your parenting skills, inability to manage household & job with kid etc. They compare you with every X,Y and Z and make it a point to mention how wonderful a DIL everyone except she has.
    When it comes to my MIL, she doesnt know to bathe, dress or feed the baby. She is a pathetic cook , but never leaves an opportunity to find faults with me.
     
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  6. Endlesshope

    Endlesshope Platinum IL'ite

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    OP yes all mils to an extent, sometimes our own mums and sometimes even the extended family do ask. My PILs yes including my FIL wanted to know when we were having a baby preferably a boy right after tying the knot :).
    It really used drive us crazy, that everytime we had a conversation it only lead to this topic, when are we getting our grandson.
     
  7. silvertulip

    silvertulip Platinum IL'ite

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    Turn deaf and dumb!! Don't respond to her lectures and questions.
     
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  8. smritisinha

    smritisinha Platinum IL'ite

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    It is VERY VERY VERY NORMAL!!!

    M yet to celebrate my 1st anniversary and MIL has started buying toys for small kids from the roadside vendors, small shoes, she has asked her sister (whose DIL has already had a child in first year of marriage) to give the walker, boy's clothes (yes, BOY's clothes, because she has decided it is NOT going to be a girl!), etc!!!

    For them, this is not intervention, this is divine intervention!! :bonk
     
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  9. shilpases

    shilpases Senior IL'ite

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    Smrithi !! I hear you :) My MIL has already decided that she is only going to have boy grandkids! also she has declared the names of the kids as well and she says that is going to be the official names of her grandsons and that is final ! she has bought clothes already for the kids and even has saved some old clothes for the boys because apparently you have to dress the kid in used clothes first. She also said that each of her grandkid will be learning the flute and the mridangam. !!!We have been married for over 2 years now and a baby is not in our plan for atleast a few more years and she knows that :) I dont know what is it with these people who are so interested in boys. oh and MIL does not care if the baby is a girl ... no preparations for that ...
    Im doing the best thing that works for me now ... smile and nod :)
     
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  10. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    Ok how come this know it all mils dont know its a bad omen to buy and collect baby things before the baby is born.
     

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