Mil-dil

No this lady is different . She has no daughter

 

Haha don’t worry you’re not alone. There’s a lot of MILs on this forum hence the comments. Not many can put their shoes in a DIL from the younger generation..you’re right if a mil is nice why would dil go nuts.

Just remember don’t let anyone put u down. Stay strong and don’t let anyone walk over you too. You’re a human being.

MILs who say they can’t force their sons to come back home make the mistake of sending them abroad in the first place keeping their dreams high. Their sons forget India and it’s usually the daughter in law from India who reminds them what they’ve left in India. But guess what it’s usually dil that gets blamed saying she doesn’t want to bring him home. MILs will obviously tell strangers they can’t call their son home because people give them respect for the fact that their sons are foreign citizens now.

Ive seen a lot of sons gone back to India with ppl looking at them and their family like omg why have u come here u should have stayed abroad and been more rich. So obviously MILs are going to tell strangers that they can’t force them home. A) sons wouldn’t wanna come anyway b) abundance of money sent home won’t be there c) loss of respect from the community or should I say less respect given compared to if they were NRI’s. No one should be that naive about what strangers tell them...at the end of the day they’re just trying to keep a good face and seem like a wonderful person. But in reality if that MIL was good and her husband passed away...I’m sure her children would call her abroad. I’ve also seen sons call their moms abroad and put them in nursing homes after some time because they can’t cope with them.

 

This is another example of the negativity that I was taliking about in these columns. Taken that the children would have 'called' the widowed mother abroad, and she chooses to stay independant and have her own life at the same time meeting up with her kids/G.children abroad - does it show that she has not been 'good' as u mention or her children do not want her with them? I , for one would always like to have my own establishment and at the same time be in touch with my adult children and their families as and when the need arises. That does not make me want to save face or project something I am not!. It is this sort of narrow thinking that broods no good in relationships!

 

I wouldnt call it negativity its just a viewpoint and just one example just like the story is one example! Theres no need to talk down to me.

Well one cant have their cake and eat it too. Life is complex. Adult children and their families are in a different stage of life and may not always have time.

 

Apologies my intention was not to blame her. There are alot of Mils who send their kids abroad and regret it so it wasnt a direct aim at your friend. Totally agree that we do feel free in our own houses and its human nature. In old age, if you have a health problem your children should help you out and be there for you. Illness is something I feel really strongly about when it comes to family support especially with the elders.

 

You must a good mother, MIL and Grandmother.

Unfortunately life isnt black and white for everyone so we need to acknowledge that. Maybe your example could help a few change. Well done! I can see from your posts you have a clean heart.